Mister Wonderland
by CookiesWithStyle
Summary: It all stared off with a laugh for him really. Then I also knew that he had problems, I just don't want him to drink his life away. Two people who are close to me and have problems which I can't help with? Of course I feel bad. Style & Crenny
1. KM A Friendly Introduction

**_You may of seen this story title before. I started to write a story called Mister Wonderland but then I deleted it, but now it's back on. Yes, it's a little different to the original but I think I can actually start writitng this stroy properly._**

**_Thanks to TheGrimKeeper for actually reminding me about this story, you rock. Sorry for the long wait as well, tests and stuff._**

**_Yeah, short chapter but if you like what you see I guess I can say is review for more._**

**_I don't own South Park_**

It all started when he laughed.

You see, Craig never was the one to start randomly laughing so it actually scared the shit out of everyone when he started to randomly laugh through science when the teacher started to open up a frog. Sure, some people would laugh though they were the immature ones. When Craig started to laugh, everyone was quiet. Even the teacher was quiet.

That's how creepy it was. He didn't stop laughing for like two minutes. He was just sitting on his stool and laughing though it soon started to gradually die down to a faint snicker. Still, it was a huge shock.

Craig never laughs, or should I say he never shows any emotion. He's also the most unmotivated person I know, it's like everything is a huge chore to him and it would take loads of time. He's basically a mystery, I don't think anyone has figured him out. Not even his parents.

The way I see people are like books. Some are really easy to read, some are just a little more harder to read and figure out but in the end you'll be able to just take one look at a person and you'll be able to figure them out. Not Craig, he's like the world's hardest book to read. I haven't even figured him out and that's like my speciality. Kenny McCormick and figure anyone out.

That's why I'm also so curious about Craig. Since I can't figure him out I just want to be around him and figure him out. It's like I'm attracted to him like a magnet. No, I don't mean I'm attracted to him because I like him, though he is pretty damn hot, I just feel sort of connected.

He doesn't like me that much though and he's sort of made that obvious enough.

I'm pretty popular though, depsite Craig not liking me that much. He's popular too though I don't think he cares that much. I don't either but I'm one of those happy-go-lucky guys who can be like friends with both boys and girls. Doesn't mean some don't like me though. I'm known as a heart-breaker between the girls and known as the complete jackass between the boys but hey, not like I care. I'm pretty care-free really.

"Dude, Kinny? Are finished out checking out Craig's ass or are you actually going to ear your food?" A voice breaks into my mind.

I blink quickly and rub my eyes. "What?" Everything processes in my mind and I give grin. "He does have a pretty fine ass."

"God your such a fag." He mutters though then he groans loudly when two people sit down at the table. "Not as much as a fag than these two."

"Shut up fatass, we haven't even done anything yet!" I grin, ready for another Kyle and Cartman fight. It's the same really, nothing new. Cartman's just a typical asshole who likes to pick on Kyle. Kyle just over-reacts to anything so he gets angry really quickly so when these two start fighting it's rather amusing. "Afternoon Kenny."

"Hi Kyle." I say.

I look over at Stan, who's head is on the table. No doubt he's either hungover or managed to pull an all-nighter again. I opt for option two. Meet my friend Stan, who has a complete alcohol problem but won't do anything about it. He says it 'clears his mind' but all it does is give him headaches. I never understand why he drinks though and he won't say. He won't even tell Kyle and he's his super best friend.

No they aren't dating, though Cartman secretly insists they are. Well if I have to be honest I do think them two would be perfect together so I don't see why they shouldn't date, I mean no doubt it's a matter of time before they do. Then Cartman would probably start a rant on how he was right all along and then Kyle will probably get pissed off, as per usual.

"Our friend Kinny was totally checking out the other poor boy's ass again." Cartman says proudly. I sigh. A while back Cartman did this quiz and asked everyone around school how rich they were and with results, Craig was second poorest to me. Though it was actually Cartman who was next poorest actually, he just won't admit it. Cartman says me and Craig are like destined to be together since we're both apparently 'really poor' but then Cartman hasn't been paying the most attention to me and my family life.

Perhaps he hasn't figured out that my parent's actually have jobs as cleaners and can actually start providing a little more than they used to be able to. I'm pretty sure Cartman's mum is still a prostitue. I should know, I remember when I used to work along side her a few years back. Ah, good old times.

"You mean Craig's?" Kyle corrected. He doesn't have much of a problem with Craig, it's sort of more Cartman who does. I don't see why though, Craig hasn't ever really done anything to Cartman. Perhaps Cartman is still annoyed by our childhood, which you definately don't want to know about. "Good for you Kenny."

"I wasn't really, I was just looking in that direction." I say, grinning slightly as I start to nibble on a chip which tastes pretty much disgusting. Oh well, I'm hungry and want food. A hungry Kenny is a bad Kenny. I couldn't really be bothered to make a packed lunch so I just went with the lunch time meals. Yum. They taste like shit.

Kyle rolls his eyes. "Sure you were Kenny." Now let me introduce you to my friend Kyle. A complete smartass but I love him all the same, and I don't mean that type of love, he's like my bro, best friend since we were toddlers. We've all be been best friends since toddlers, well apart from Stan and Kyle who have been friends since they were babies, well perhaps Stan was a little older but hey, you get the point. "Anyway, I have a free lesson next, supposed to be studying apparently, anyone else's teacher let them out of class?"

"Just because your in a higher set than all of us doesn't mean you can rub it in." Cartman grumbles, crossing his arms.

I'll take that he doesn't have a free lesson. "No, but I'll skip anyway."

"Of course you would Kenny." Kyle says. "No, your going to class."

I look at him shocked. "Your making me go to class?" I ask dramatically. "How could you?"

"Well your always complaining of low grades so get your ass to your lesson." Kyle says to me, no, more like demands me to do.

"Fine, though your probably letting Stan off the hook." I know this because Stan is in all of my classes and he hasn't been in any of them this morning.

"Whatever."

The bell rings and I stand up, slinging my back over my shoulder. "Well see you guys later I guess." I call before heading to my next class, which is English which is stupid. We always have to write poetry and shit and be creative. The only reason I slightly consider this class being awesome is because of our teacher. I mean, have you seen her boobs? They are absolutely perfect. I think she is God's gift to me.

I walk up the stairs to the classroom and open the door. It's empty, guess I'm the first person here. Hoo-bloody-ray.

The door cracks open again when I take a seat and I look up to see my favourite ray of sunshine, also known as Craig, walk in. He seems some sort of relieved when he sees me. Glad to make him happy I guess.

Craig is a smart person but since he usually decides to miss school most of the time he has low grades. If he had a better attendence he would be in like Kyle's class. See, does this prove my point about him being really unmotivated?

He sits down on the front row of the class room and pulls out his books. It's silent for a few moments before he starts tapping his foot on the floor. It really is annoying.

"Can you stop?" I ask.

He actually jumps slightly and then glares at me. "Why?"

"Your being annoying."

"Well your annoying me McCormick, deal with it." And that's the only answer I get from him before he turns back around. He won't answer me again.

Sometimes he can be such an asshole.

People start arriving to class and soon my gift from Heaven arrives, carrying in today's work. However, the only thing I'm concentrating on is how tight the shirt is on our teacher. Damn, don't blame me if I don't get any work done today.


	2. CT Protecting my Life

**_Yes, short chapter. I'm sorry. Writers block is a bitch. Hopefully chapters will be more frequent now I have a plot in my mind._**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

I slip through my house door and slowly head upstairs with a small package in my hands. I think I lost the fucking plot today. Laughing in the middle of class just because the teacher was cutting open a frog. I don't know why, I just found it so amusing that something could die so quickly.

Did no one else see the frog slightly struggling as the teacher brought the scalpel down onto its stomach and slowly cut it open? I guess not. The frog never stood a chance. Life is shit like that you know because one moment you have the world but the next moment you get dirt kicked into your face. Bet you never thought about it like that before have you?

Sometimes life is good but that's only if you're in the good crowds with the right people. I made sure Ruby was in the right crowds but myself? Yeah, I'm definitely in the wrong crowd. I was introduced to drugs at the wrong age and the wrong time. I couldn't help it, everything that day was absolute shit and I was so close to the breaking point. So when someone hands you over drugs what are you going to do?

I made sure Ruby didn't touch or even consider drugs as she grew up. She's thirteen now but she knows everything about drugs and alcohol. She doesn't do either of them but she does smoke. Unfortunately I was the one who started that habit. Oh well, as long as she doesn't catch lung cancer or something like that then I'm just going to roll along with it. It's nice to have a smoking buddy after all.

To be honest I've never really been bothered about what happens to me anymore in life, I'll probably be dead if it weren't for my little sister. I want to be dead but she's the only reason I'm hanging on in there. Ruby is practically my life.

I open her bedroom door and walk in, being careful to close her door behind myself. "What you got there?" She asks me as I sit on the edge of her bed. "Got more smokes or something?"

"No, Karen wanted me to give you this because you were off today." I say, handing her the package. It's in a small paper bag but sealed shut with tape. Whatever is in there is pretty light but I didn't peek inside, I'm not noisy like some people.

Ruby uses her slender fingers to pick off the tape and she looks inside the bag before smiling lightly. "She managed to get your fix." She says, handing the paper bag over. Fuck, when did I ask for this? "You should really stop taking drugs; it's bad for your health."

"I know…" I mumble, looking at the powder inside the bag. I sigh slightly and pull out a lighter. "Do drugs blow up?"

"Not that I know of." Ruby says. "Now's the perfect time to experiment I guess."

I nod and flick on the lighter and set the bag on fire. We both watch as the bag goes into flames. I place it onto the floor once the flames reach my hand and stamp it out. The drugs are gone now. "I think it's a yes then." I mumble, looking down at the mess I made. I'll clean it up later.

"It stinks; do we have any air freshener?" Ruby asks, covering her nose with her blanket. I shrug, not feeling adventurous or brave enough to scavenge around the house for some.

"How were mum and dad today? Did they come in or anything, try to hurt you?" I ask her hesitantly. "Because if they did try you can always tell me if you want to?"

"No, everything has been fine. They've been out at work all day." She assures me. "I got a chance to wash my hair as well. Isn't that good?" She says with little enthusiasm.

I like her hair. Its shoulder length and a strawberry blonde colour. When she can be bothered she usually ties it back into two bunches that looks really cute on her. She always flips me off when I mention that but it doesn't matter that much because I just flip her off as well.

We always have flipping wars most of the time so it's likes a competition between the two of us to see who can flip each other off the most. It's usually a tie between us. "That's good. Do you know when they are back in?"

"I'm not sure. Probably soon." Ruby mumbles. "Can I go and get a drink?"

"I'll get one for you." I say to her. "You stay put in here alright?"

She reluctantly agrees and I head downstairs. It's scary how silent the house it but the house itself always scares me. I think I'm probably going to die in this house. Don't ask how though, I'm still debating if it's going to be over suicide or beaten to death. Hopefully none of those options but I know it's a high chance it's going to be.

The kitchen is a mess as per usual. I'll need to clean it up soon. I head over to the cabinet and pull out a tall glass cup and head over to the sink and pour water into it. I go to the kitchen door and then stop when I hear the front door open. The glass slips from the hands and shatters on the floor. Oh fuck. I quickly bend down and pick up the broken shards and throw them into the bin. The footsteps are coming towards the kitchen and I can already hear my dad's angry voice asking who is in here.

I swiftly head out through the other door and bolt up the stairs into Ruby's room. I lock the door and sit on her bed. "I think we might need to leave for the night." I mumble to her.

"Why?" She asks me.

Why? I don't know. Probably because I dropped a glass on the floor and my parents are probably going to be furious. They're always trying to use all my slip ups against me, giving themselves a reason why I need to be beaten like an animal.

"I don't want you to get hurt. I dropped a glass and they're probably going to be furious." I explain to her. "We'll climb out your window again."

"But last time we did that you broke your ankle." Ruby reminds me. "You could hardly move and we had to go home. Then do you remember what happened?"

I flinch slightly. "Don't remind me Rubes. Come on, there isn't anything else we can do. Going downstairs is out of the option, we're going out of the window."

She reluctantly gives in and climbs onto my back. I pull the window open and look down. At least there is plenty of snow on the floor so it won't be as hard as last time when I fell. I pull both my legs out and sit on the window ledge and look out.

"Are you going to jump again?" She asks me.

"Do you know any other way?" I say to her.

She stays silent and I end up jumping, both of us landing in the snow. Thankfully Ruby lands more on me so she doesn't get hurt. I can ignore the burning in my chest. I help her up and we both sprint out of the garden and down the road.

"Where are we going now then?" She asks me.

I shrug. "I guess we can use the park again." I suggest.

She seems a little sad by that but it's the only way.

I just want to protect my little sister.


	3. SM Everyday Masks

**_Patience my fellow readers, this story seems bad now and seriously I agree with you but I'm pretty sure things are going to get better soon._**

**_R&R for more! Thanks to all that have_**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

People say that I look like my parents. My most noticeable features must be from my dad since I do have his black hair and blue eyes. I'm not a lot like him however but more like my mum. She's more level headed and calm. I look like her because we both wear brown jumpers and jeans. I'm nothing like my sister; she's just a raging person who seriously has some anger issues.

That's my family. I used to have a dog as well but he was hit by a car and died. It was my fault; I wasn't looking where I was going and so Sparky ran out on the road. He was always a little stupid. Heh, I had a stupid dog.

I've forgotten how many drinks I've had now. Perhaps I've had around five bottles, six maybe? It's not like my parents would notice, they've been arguing for the last few hours. Shelly has long gone left the house but do I do that? No. Instead I simply steal, because there is no point saying I borrowed it because I damn straight stole it, the liquor cabinet key and take around two boxes of the alcohol and take it into my room.

It doesn't take that long for you to get drunk, well it depends what your alcohol tolerance is. I've drunken a lot so I should have a big tolerance right? No. It's probably because I'm still a kid. I don't know. I'm just glad it only takes a few moments for me to lose my mind.

Then I can just forget everything around me.

I know, I know. I sound insane because I want to get drunk so I can get drunk. Do you not know how it feels though when you can just forget everything though? It's just absolute bliss. Well it does have that toll in the morning where you have that horrible headache. Oh well, you can sleep that off and sleeping also means escape.

Have I told you that I've been warned by doctors that if this carries on I'll be dead in around three years? No, okay then now you know. I don't really care that much to be honest, I don't even know why? Strange isn't it?

Oh well. That's basically all you need to know about me. I'm a seventeen year old alcoholic who basically has no life. Great, might as well class this as being cliché while we're at it. I hate anything cliché, it ruins the atmosphere you know? Maybe that's why I haven't decided to go jumping off the roof yet. That's bad though, don't do that.

Three bottles down now and I only have two bottles left. What sucks is that I'm not even old enough to buy my own alcohol. It's for safety reasons because children shouldn't drink alcohol. Man I've already been told that at least ten times per day by my health teacher when I have her class or when I walk by her in school.

Kenny would like her though, probably because she's got a pretty good figure for a thirty year old teacher. Do you know my friend Kenny? He's like the biggest pervert around. But he's awesome at the same time. Then there is Kyle. Kyle isn't perverted; he's too smart for that. He's my bro, well not literally but he's super close to me. That's why we're super best friends, destined to be together for literally… No, cliché is bad. Bad cliché. Also you have my friend Cartman who actually has this fake ID so he can buy alcohol whenever he wants. Perhaps that's why I stick around him a lot.

My phone suddenly starts to ring and I fall off my bed to answer it. Smart moves. "Hello?" I manage to spit out.

"Have you been drinking again?" Kyle asks on the other end. Oh of course it's him on the other end. Now he's probably going to give a three hour lecture on why drinking is bad and why I shouldn't do it.

"No." I try to sound as normal as possible but it sort of comes out slurred. Oh well, not like Kyle is going to come around to my house and take all this alcohol away. Actually is he probably is. Okay, I have a plan for this, we're going to throw it out of the window before he even gets here okay? Good. "So what do you want at this time of night?"

"You've definitely been drinking." Kyle insists on the other end. I hold the phone by pressing it against my ear with my arm as I start to throw the bottles out of the window. They either smash because the snow is too hard or safely land in the softer snow. Unfortunately all the ones that had alcohol in smashed. Well at least children were taught not to eat yellow snow. Well I hope so.

When I was younger my parents said I shouldn't eat yellow snow because its lemon flavour and I'm not the biggest fan of sour things. Cartman ate some one time when we were younger and said it tasted like dog piss. Kyle then asked how he would know that and another classic Kyle and Cartman fight began.

"Okay, maybe just a bottle but I haven't been drinking that much!" I say, closing my bedroom window before I fall out of it or something. That is always a possibility because when I'm drunk it's better if I'm sitting down or I'll probably fall over or something. "Anyway, answer my question. Whatcha want?"

Kyle sighs loudly on the other side. "I was just wondering if you were still awake or not." He admits. "The answer was obvious of course."

"Dude you know me, I'm like a night owl. I'm partying all night and like zombie mode in day time." I say, chuckling at the end. I wonder what it's like to be a zombie. Well obviously you'd be dead but then you'd sort of be immortal at the same time. Wait you can die if you're a zombie. I've played enough 'The Walking Dead' to know all that shit. "So was that everything?"

"I guess." Kyle mumbles. "Are you going to be at school tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Probably. Well seeya!" I press the end call button before he starts mumbling on. I know. I'm a terrible friend. I know Kyle deserves someone better than me. It's just a mystery why he likes to hang around me all the time.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of my alarm going off nosily. It's only the radio station but it's so annoying. I mean it's just two people ranting on about shit movie reviews and why we should go and watch a god damn rubbish movie. I really need to change that station.

I do my usual morning routine whilst being hung-over with possibly my worst headache yet. Oh well. Who needs breakfast anyway? Besides I'm pretty sure mum has burnt the waffles again. I think we can all agree that burnt waffles suck ass.

Anyway I head off to school, walking because I'm pretty sure I'll just throw up if I go on the bus. Travel sickness is a bitch man.

I walk along the path, actually feeling pretty pleased with myself because I actually managed to get at least three hours sleep last night and pulled myself out of bed with a headache. Usually when that happens I'm like 'screw this, I'm staying off school' but hey, I need to be here for Kyle right?

Otherwise he's just going to be at my door the moment school is over and start bitching on why I wasn't at school, lecture why alcohol is bad for a growing person, start to randomly crying because he doesn't want me to die. Then I'll bring the box of tissues and we'll start crying manly tears in each other's arms because that is how you deal with things like men! In my book anyway. Kyle and I are so manly that it's unbelievable. Unfortunately Cartman calls it faggy. Well I don't care. We're manly fags!

He's waiting outside school with Kenny, either both just arriving just at this very minute or both are waiting for someone. Kyle waves as soon as he spots me however so I'm assuming he was waiting for me to arrive.

I walk over to them quickly and give them a big smile because smiles change everything. Okay they don't, they just show that you're happy or you're pretending to be happy. Smiles are worthless to me really. They're just a mask.

"Why did you suddenly just hang up on me last night?" Kyle asks me as soon as I walk over. My smile quickly fades.

Things always escalate quickly between us. "I said goodbye didn't I?"

"Yeah but I was still talking." Kyle interrupts.

"You were?" I ask puzzled. "Must have not heard."

Kyle rolls his eyes impatiently and looks at me with a sort of pissed off expression. "You were drinking again last night and I said that I was coming over. I spent at least an hour waiting at your front door but no one came to answer."

"I must have not heard." I admit. It's the truth actually. Let me just say that when my parents start to argue it can get really loud so it must have been obvious why I, or no one else, came to answer the door. "Sorry dude, if I knew you were going to come I would of came down you know."

"Kenny, can you give us both a few minutes please." Kyle says to the blonde. Kenny simply shrugs and walks off. I feel bad until I see him walk over to Butters and starts flirting with him so then I don't feel bad anymore. So everything is now okay! I think. "You know you can tell me anything." Kyle says to me when Kenny goes.

I look at him confused. "Dude what do I need to tell you?"

"You know I heard your parents arguing when I was on that doorstep." Kyle explains to me. Well I obviously knew that for obvious reasons. "Is that why you drink all the time?"

"Jesus Christ Kyle, that's none of your business." I frown. "I drink just because I want to. It's nothing to do with my parents. Stop playing damn detective here."

Kyle looks at me if I have just slapped him. "You know I just want to help you."

"Have you ever thought about the fact that maybe I don't want your help?" I question him angrily.

"Dude, the hell is wrong with you?" He snaps.

I hate it when it's like this. You know when Kyle and I start to argue. Yeah, I brought it on myself, I know that but still I just don't like it. Unfortunately neither of us has the pride to apologize, well not until a sleepless night of guilt, and then we can apologize. It's just how things are I guess.

"You know I'll just see you later okay?" I quickly say before walking off. I've never hated myself so much until now. God damn why do I have to ruin everything? Why can't everything just be like it was in our childhood where everything was so innocent and a hell of a lot easier? Where you can just play let's pretend and have not a single care in the world.

Where everything didn't have to even make sense.

Where everything was so much better.

Where you could just laugh everything off.

God, growing up is so much of a pain. Literally it is. I fucking hate it. Too much hard work.

* * *

"So what's up between you and Kyle then?" Kenny asks as he sits down beside me.

"It's none of your business." I mutter.

Sulking behind the school has probably been the best choice I've decided today. Unfortunately it's the spot I always choose to go to so everyone always knows where to go if they're looking for me.

"Aw come on, you can tell me anything." Kenny nudges me and gives me one of his signature smiles. He smiles a lot since he's ditched his parka hood but you know my point a view of smiles. "Let it out."

I sigh. "You know I don't like to tell people things."

"Yeah but maybe it's time you started to open up to people." Kenny insists. "And besides, I've been your friend since preschool; I think you can trust me."

"True." I start to consider.

"You also know all my dirty little secrets as well, maybe it's time you started to spill yours." Kenny grins at me.

"I don't have dirty secrets Kenny." I remind him. "You're the only person here who has dirty secrets, fuck, probably worse than dirty secrets."

He tosses his head back and laughs. "True, true. Okay then, time to tell Uncle Kenneth everything now." He grins mischievously at me whilst he's at it. "You want to sit on my lap?"

"No Kenny, I don't want to sit on your lap." I say, a small smile cracking on my face. This is very ironic.

Kenny looks almost disappointed. "Well it's your loss then. Just saying but it's really comfy."

"I bet it is…"

"Come on, enough chit chat, time to spill the beans." Kenny says, starting to sound serious again.

I sigh. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"What you and Kyle were arguing about this morning." Kenny starts off. "Looks rather more serious than both your usually bitch fights"

"No, he happened to be there when my parents started arguing. Nothing new really." I say.

"Hmm, I guess so. Is that everything you want to say?" He asks me.

"Yeah."

"Does it feel better that you've talked to someone?" He asks.

"No."

Kenny pouts but shrugs. "Oh well. See you later okay?"

I nod and watch as he walks off. Well that sucked.


	4. KM Siblings are Worth it

**_Now that those three more like character introduction chapters are out of the way, let's hope I can start to finally get some better work done. Thanks for all who reads, reviews, follows and favs. It makes me smile when I see a new review or a new follower thanks :)_**

**_Cries, this looked so much longer on microsoft but I wanted a new chapter out as soon as possible for you guys. Oh well, it's a school free day on Thursday so there may be a long chapter then, depends if I'm busy on LOZ (Legend of Zelda)_**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

I walk down the path with Karen by my side. She has an anxious expression on her face but every time our eyes meet she simply smiles. I smile back at her but can't help but ponder what's wrong. "Everything alright?" I ask her when we turn the corner towards our house.

She jumps slightly at the sound of my voice but then turns to me. Karen is pretty tall for her age, which is thirteen years old. She's almost fourteen. Well we McCormick's have been pretty tall for our ages anyway. "Yeah sure. Why do you ask?" She quickly says.

"I dunno, you just seem a little on edge. You sure there isn't anything you want to tell me?" I take a hold of her hand and give it a little squeeze. "You can always tell your big brother anything. You know I won't tell another living soul." That is a promise; I'd never do anything to hurt my sister. She's my pride and joy.

Back when my parents were drug addicts I was always the one to look after my sister. Kevin wasn't much help but I was always there for her. I mean she's my baby sister; I love her more than the world itself. We're very close and even when people don't think it; I really do try and give her everything I am able to. She deserves a happy life so I'm glad that it's starting to look up for her. I mean the moment my parents got the cleaning jobs I knew things were going to look up.

I nudge her slightly before scooping her up and placing her onto my shoulders. She doesn't mind, she actually laughs and clings onto my hair. It doesn't matter how old she is or how tall it is no one is ever too old for piggyback rides. Also you have to admit it; we're all children at heart. "Never mind, let's get back home. Ma said she had a surprise for us when we got back in."

Karen lets out a cheer and I start running. It's moments like these that make you feel alive. I mean I don't care how cliché, or as some people would even say sounds 'gay' this sounds but seriously. I love the feeling of the breeze brushing against my skin and the way the sun light shines down gently onto us both, making our skin glow a soft colour. I especially love how open it is where we live. I don't care if it's on the poorer side of town; as long as you have a loving family and a shelter then I think you'll be alright.

We both make it back to our house and burst through the front door. Ma is in the kitchen and I can smell something heavenly. Karen seems excited too. "Is that cake I can smell?" I ask as I place Karen down. The two of us head into the kitchen.

"Do you like it? I spent the day on it." Ma produces a vanilla sponge cake which is dusted with icing sugar and has strawberries on the top.

"It looks delicious!" Karen exclaims. I don't even think she has had the chance to eat cake, let alone homemade cake before. I smile at it.

"It looks beautiful." I say. "So how you feeling?"

Sometimes Ma and Pa go through withdrawals symptoms for the drugs and seem a little down or even just plain angry. More Pa than Ma but they sometimes both have those days. "I'm feeling fine Kenny." She says. "Now go get some plates, we're going to try some of this before the flies get to it."

Karen goes to get the plates while I produce a rather sharp knife to cut the cake. Mum heads off to get Pa while Karen sets the plates out. Kevin has long gone left us for some slutty whore he found on the street but it's his decision I guess.

Soon we're all around the table happily munching on Ma's homemade cake. It's the best food I've ever eaten in a while. "Ya know Carol." Pa suddenly says, putting an arm around her. "I was thinking about getting this house fixed up. Or perhaps moving? What'cha think about that?"

"I don't know Stuart, don't you think it's a little expensive to move house? I guess we can give this house a fresh lick of paint though." Ma says, looking around.

"I like this house, can't we just live here?" Karen says, putting her metal spoon down on the plate. "Perhaps we can decorate it a little bit." She says, looking around with a doubtful look on her face.

"Yeah, we can live her Kare." I smile at her. "Anyway do you have any homework you need some help on? You mentioned you had some on the walk back."

"Oh yeah, just some maths. Could you help?" Karen asks.

"Yeah, come on." We both slip out of our chairs and I quickly scoop up the dirty plates and place them into the sink before heading off into Karen's bedroom.

She has a nice room with washed pink walls, the pink starting to fade a little. There are old scraped fairy stickers on the wall but mostly just white from where they've been stuck down. It's a small room but cosy enough and Karen likes it so I guess that's all that matters.

She pulls out her bag and sits on her bed crossed legged and I sit beside her. "We're doing fractions but I've never been so good at them." Karen pouts.

I grin and ruffle her hair, causing her to raise her hands to her head. "Don't worry, I think I can help. I've never been smart about fractions either, or thinking about it I never was smart at maths at all."

Karen hands me over her maths book and together we both go through the answer and around an hour later we both put the book away with some answers inside.

"I think we did well enough." Karen says, grinning as she puts her book into her bag. I let out a loud laugh. We both knew we did terrible. "Thanks."

"No problems." I slip off her bed and head over to the door. "Want to head over to the park with me?"

"Sure!" We both leave her room and after telling Ma where we are going we head out of the door.

The sun is setting now. The sky is painted orange doing into yellow and the sun is just a bright burning ball of fire. It's pretty. It's just funny since the snow is still around and we have this hot weather. I guess some things remain unanswered.

We both head down to the park hand in hand. There are people playing on the basketball court but I think they're just some younger adults practising for a game or something. They ignore us so we ignore them back. That's just how it is in South Park I guess. It doesn't really bother me anyway; I'd find it rather strange if random strangers started to talk to you.

Karen and I get to the park section and I head over to the swing set whilst Karen ventures around. I stand on the swing instead of sitting on in and start to sway back and forth. It's been too relaxing today, well apart from Stan and Kyle arguing then it's been relaxing. Too relaxing if you ask me. Oh well, guess we'll make up for it in later life.

I see Karen stand up and start running down the path and I jump off the swing ready to give chase but then I stop. I spot two people walking towards the park, one of them being Ruby who is friends with Karen. The other person is no doubt Craig because I know that blue chullo from anywhere.

I peer suspiciously as Karen starts talking to Ruby but Ruby seems a little more startled then anything. The three head over to the park and I blink at them before noticing Craig looking like he is anxiously chewing on his jumper sleeve.

He wasn't though and I only realised that when I saw red on it.

"Dude, what happened?" I ask with my voice laced with concern.

"I… uh." Craig looks at Ruby for an answer much to my surprise.

She looks at her brother then back at me. "He… uh tripped down the stairs?" She said, expecting me to actually believe that bullshit.

"What are you doing in the park instead of getting it fixed up at home?" I ask, leaning on the swing pole. "Wouldn't you have more medical supplies or something?"

"I just bust a lip, doesn't matter that much. Didn't notice just until a few moments ago." Craig mutters, rubbing rather harshly at his lip to get rid of the blood.

I quickly catch his wrist. "Don't do that, it'll just make it worse." I say sternly. "Just come to the bathrooms, we can fix it in there alright?"

At first he looks more reluctant to come with me but when Ruby looks at him with a look that is urging him to follow he simply lets out a sigh and comes along with me. We both head to the bathrooms where I grab some paper towels and dampen them. Not the best but it's better than toilet paper which would just go all mushy.

When it's damp with cold water I hand it over to Craig who places it gently onto his bottom lip. He tries to hide it but I see him wince slightly. "Looks like you had a bad 'fall'." I say, making it clear that I was being more sarcastic on the word 'fall'. "Care to tell me how you actually got that bust lip?"

He rolls his eyes at me, pressing down a little harder with the paper towel. It's already going red from the blood. "It's nothing, like my sister said. I was clumsy and wasn't looking where I was going and ended up tripping down the stairs. I was a fucking idiot, now leave me alone."

"Dude shouldn't your parents help you or something? I mean it looks pretty bad. You think it needs stitching or something?" I question, peering at the bust lip.

"Jesus Christ, no. It's just a cut, it'll fix on its own. Also my parents are out and I didn't even notice it was bust just till a few minutes ago. You don't need to start flipping out over it okay?" Craig says, throwing the bloodied paper towel into the bin.

At least the bleeding has stopped now. "Okay, whatever you say." I place both my hands up in mock defeat but when suddenly grin at him. I can't be Kenny without flirting with someone. The only exception being my sister and Pa. Ma doesn't mind. "So what's somebody like you doing out at these hours?"

"It's only 7pm." Craig states as if it were important. "The night is still young."

I shrug. "I guess so then. Did you decide to take your sister to the park as well?"

"Yeah, we needed to get out for a little bit for some fresh air you know?" He says, sounding boring. Wait, Craig always sounds boring so I guess that's nothing new. "I need to go out and check on Rubes."

"Oh yeah, she's probably with Karen." I say as we both walk out of the bathroom.

"By the way, thanks McCormick." Craig mumbles before walking past me quickly over to Ruby.

I'm surprised for a split second before grinning. I'd never thought I'd see the day to see a Tucker be thankful.

I head over to Karen and Ruby, who are sitting on the wooden bench. Ruby has her backpack open and is going through her own homework. Karen is looking like she is trying to be helpful but if it's the fraction homework we all know we're not going to get anywhere with it. Craig is sitting down besides Ruby and as things look he's explaining what to do.

I've always said he was smart didn't I?

All four of us end up spending a couple of hours sitting down at the park bench and going through the homework. Turns out all of Karen's answers are wrong but luckily Ruby scribbled them down for her and so Karen can copy. I grin at that. Then we all just generally talked. It was random stuff really, nothing that would count as interesting.

I say it's time for me and Karen to leave once I realise it's around 10pm. "Shit, come on Kare we need to get home. Ma and Pa are going to be worried sick." I jump from the park bench and Karen mirrors.

"Do you really have to leave?" Ruby frowns when she notices us leaving.

"Yeah, I think it's time you both went home as well." I point out, sounding like a proper adult myself. Just call me Mama McCormick.

"Hmm." Craig sighs and sits back slightly. "We'll be going in a few minutes."

"Okay then. See you tomorrow then?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I don't know, maybe."

I watch as Karen and Ruby hug goodbye and then Karen and I start walking down the path back towards our own house.

"I don't think they were telling the truth." Karen says to me as soon as we were out of ear shot.

I blink at her. "What do you mean?"

"About Craig's lip. He couldn't have just fallen down the stairs." Karen mumbles. "It looks more like someone hit him or something."

"Well maybe but we don't really have the right to start questioning him do we?" I compromise.

"I suppose so." She looks away thoughtfully. "While you and Craig were in the bathroom I asked Ruby about it and she admitted that there were some problems at her house but nothing that they could handle. Do you really think they are alright or do you think they're lying about that as well?"

"Well I don't know. As long as they're alright." I say. I peer back behind me and notice they're still there but this time leaning besides a tree. I tilt my head slightly, are they planning on sleeping over at the park or something? "The hell are they doing?"

"Hm?" Karen turns around. "Oh, isn't it going to be little cold for them?"

I bite my lip before strolling back towards the park. It's colder than it was before since it's night time and the temperature has dropped. It's insane if they're planning on staying the night.

When Karen and I actually reach them they're both actually asleep surprisingly. Well all I can say is that they must have been tired if it only took them a few minutes to actually get to sleep.

"Shit, they're actually staying the night." I mumble.

"If they were shouldn't they just use the bathroom? It's warmer in there." Karen points out.

"They automatically lock after night time; it keeps the vandals from destroying them like last time." I explain to her. "But are they crazy, sleeping out here."

Karen looks at the two sadly. "Why can't they go home? Don't their parents want them there?"

"I don't know. Maybe they do, maybe they don't." I don't try to sugar coat things. I already know that Karen knows a lot from experience with our own parents. "They'll just catch their death out here, its fucking freezing."

I can't help but notice the snowflakes slowly falling from the sky. It's always cold at night.

"We can't just leave them." Karen says. "Can't we just take them back to our house?"

"We can't just pick them up and take them back to our house like they're stray pets." I softly say.

Karen looks saddened by this but she knows it's the truth. I sigh and head over to them, ready to shake Craig's shoulder but then I notice a pair of eyes watching me.

"Don't wake him now." Ruby says, sitting up.

"You both need to go home." I argue.

The strawberry blond girl bites her lip anxiously, a trait I also notice her brother has when he's anxious as well. "But we can't." She says and I can tell she's choosing her words carefully.

"Why? You locked out or something?"

"Yeah, that's exactly why." Ruby says. "We do this a lot so it doesn't make much of a difference."

"You do this a lot?" Karen asks, sounding actually shocked.

Ruby's eyes widen and she looks like she's mad at herself for saying that. "I mean we lose the keys a lot and our parents haven't got around the making new ones. They're usually at work at lot!"

My eyes narrow and she knows that I can tell she's not telling the truth. "Oh you poor thing, it must be horrible sleeping out here all the time." Karen says, eating the whole story up even though it's obvious that Ruby is lying. But who for? She's obviously covering up for someone. Someone she obviously cares for. Never knew the Tucker's were capable of holding emotions. "Kenny, can't they just stay at our house for one night?"

I look at the two girls and back at Craig, who is still asleep. "Are you sure you're locked out? No other reasons?" I ask Ruby.

"I'm sure!" Ruby insists. "Please, can we just stay at your house for just one night?"

I sigh. "Just for the night then?" I say.

She nods. "I promise. We'll be gone before you know it."

"Okay then."

I peer down at Craig. Ruby didn't want him waking up so I guess there is only one option. I lean down and pick him up, carrying him bridal style. I'm amazed at how light he is. It actually starts to concern me.

"Are you sure everything is okay at your house?" I ask Ruby. With close examination I notice she's on the skinny side as well.

She nods and yawns. "Come on Kenny, we need to get home soon." Karen says.

"Okay, okay." I say in defeat but manage to keep a light smile on my face.

We all walk home and as expected Ma and Pa are up and worried but when they notice we have guests they just put on smiles and set up an extra bed on the couch and in my room since it's bigger.

As expected Ruby takes the couch and I end up taking Craig into my room where I place him on my bed. What, I am a gentleman and would you think I'd let him have the make shift bed? It's just a few blankets and pillows. Well it's not like I was expecting another bed, it wasn't like we knew we were having Craig and Ruby over to sleep.

* * *

When I wake up I sit up and quickly glance up at my bed. From here I can tell it's empty.

I guess Ruby was right when they said they'd be gone before I knew it.

That's a shame.

I'm getting worried about them.


	5. CT Punching Bag

**_Sorry for the late update. Hopefully the length of this will be a good apology for the time it took to update? Yeah, I'm pure evil in this chapter :3_**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

It's the weekend now. I can't wait for two long fucking days of waltzing around the streets with my little sister while trying to pretend everything is alright. People will always look so there is no changing that. However some people are even used to it. That's sad.

What, it's not like no one knows the Tucker children. Us Tucker's have already been given the reputation of being the badass family. Some people just don't understand.

I've always wondered what life would be like if everything was just perfect. Where you have two happy parents that will actually be patient and not use their fists to solve all problems, which would be nice. Also a nice life for my little sister. You already know I refer her as my life. She really does not know how much she means to me. I mean if I didn't have Ruby I have no idea what I would be doing right now.

The bruises heal after some time. It just doesn't help when you have extra pale skin which makes bruises look worse than they should do. The cuts take a while as well but they only take a few days to disappear altogether. Broken bones don't bother me anymore. If anything gets broken I probably click it back into place. I know it's tragic isn't it?

Well I'll take as many punches and as many tumbles as long as it means they don't touch Ruby. She hasn't been touched yet. I'm hoping that there will never be a yet. I'll protect her as much as possible.

It was strange the other day. I usually don't ask for help so I was rather surprised when I woke up on a bed when I specifically remember falling asleep in the park. Turns out I was in the McCormick house. I panicked then because I didn't want to draw them into my problem so I woke Ruby up and we left as quickly as possible. It didn't even matter that it was 4am in the morning.

Ruby told me that she told the McCormick's some stuff. They were questioning her why us two were sleeping in the park. I can't believe I was so careless.

I was tired though and I just fell asleep. Ruby said that we were only sleeping in the park because we lost the house keys. Well that excuse is better than any other excuse I could of made.

We never headed back to our home. The next few days we just went to school and hid out at the park. I made sure we slept in more hidden areas. To be honest with Kenny that was the first time we were actually found and taken in.

Unfortunately I think it would break my pride to actually thank them.

Ruby might have to on my behalf.

"When are we heading home?" Ruby asks us when we walk down the streets.

I shrug. "I don't know. Whenever you want to I guess."

She bites her lip, something that we both do when we're nervous or anxious. It really does explain all the scabs and broken skin on our lips. "Well last time we left you made it sound like they were sort of pissed off at us."

"No, pissed at me." I say, tapping her lip to make her stop. "You're going to your pretty lips if you carry on. No, they won't be mad at you. I just dropped a glass last time."

"Fuck, you did didn't you? What do you think they're going to do when we get back in? We've been out for the entire week? You know what they're like when we leave for too long. They think we went to the police or something." Ruby mumbles. "I don't want them to hurt you or anything."

I continue to just look straight ahead. I hate it when my sister worries. She shouldn't have to worry all the time. She's only a young teenager. She should be smiling all the time and having fun. "Rubes, don't worry about it. I'm sure they're just going to lecture us or something. Nothing to worry about." Well nothing for her to worry about anyway hopefully.

She's too smart. "But I don't want them to hurt you." She insists. "Can't we go to the police or something? This is abuse!"

People turn to look at us who are walking by and I quickly whisk Ruby off down an empty ally. "Keep your voice down." I mutter. "And you know we can't just go to the police. What the fuck do you think they're going to do? They'll just do shit."

Much to my surprise she grabs my arm and rolls the sleeve up. "This isn't good for you!" She announces, pointing at the bruises on my arm. I didn't even know they could go purple. Ouch. How horrible. "And I know there are more of them."

"So? Nothing I can't handle. Soon I'll be able to move out then everything will be alright." I say. "And I'll bring you with me as well so don't worry."

She sighs. "I just don't want you to die."

"Rubes, you know I won't die so don't worry." I say to her gently. "It's just a few bumps and bruises, nothing that I can't handle. It's not like they're throwing broken glass at me or something."

"Yet, you don't know when they could start doing that." Ruby mutters.

"Well we'll just handle it when that happens won't we?" I say. "Come on, it's cold. I think it's time we headed back home and face what happens with as much strength as we have."

"You sound like a complete dork." Ruby smirks as we start to walk out of the ally way.

"Sounds about right." I sigh. Oh well, at least we're in high spirits right? Better than us being emos or something like that.

We start to walk back towards our house but when we stand in front of it we both stay still. I know that she's scared out of her mind. I'm the same.

"You know we can always try this tomorrow?" I suggest.

She doesn't even try to change my mind. "Yes."

* * *

Just like that the whole day just manages to slip by us like it was only a few seconds long. You know what that means right? Yeah, we're going to try and head back home again.

It's pathetic that two children are too scared to head into their own home. It makes me feel sick.

It shouldn't be like that. Everything is just so fucked up.

Ruby and I approach the house hand in hand. The front door feels like we're just about to go knocking at Death's door. Well Death would be nicer in punishment than my parents. I wouldn't be surprised to find the both of them drunk.

Alcohol just seems to be so popular amongst adults and alcoholic adults with kids somehow end up with the same story ending. I wonder if it's ever going to be happy ever after. That would be fan-fucking-tastic. But it would be a longshot. Oh well.

I take a deep breath before heading inside.

The first thing I notice is that it's pretty dark. None of the lights are on. I find that rather odd.

The original plan was to head upstairs but then that plan is scrapped. "Ruby? Craig? Is that you?" I hear my dad call in a drunken slur. Well at least he sounds more happy than angry.

We head into the living room, Ruby bravely pushing past me and strutting in first. Bless her. I know she just wants to protect me but I don't want her getting hurt either.

Dad and mum are sprawled out on the sofa, many wine bottles are scattered around the sitting furniture as well as a few empty beer cans. The room fucking stinks of alcohol so I can't even tell how long they've been drinking. All I know is that they've been drinking a lot.

"There they are! I told you they weren't missing Thomas!" Mum cheers happily. Alcohol can certainly change people.

"Come over here and give your parents a big ol' hug! We've missed you both so much!" He announces. "How has it been at Grandma's?"

My eyes widen momentarily before going back to the usual narrow stare. "Dad, Grandma has been dead for nearly four years now." I remind him.

He looks like something has just hit him. Apparently finding out his mother has died is major news to him. "How the fuck did she die?" He mumbles. He looks at me and Ruby. "Did you kill her?!"

"No, she's been dead for four years. She died from old age remember?" I remind him, trying to keep all panic from my voice.

Next thing I knew is that a wine bottle was hurtled in mine and Ruby's direction. I duck whilst pulling Ruby close. The sound of glass shattering against the wall echoed around in the living room. I feel a few shards fall onto my back but thankfully they don't cut.

"You killed her you bastard! Why the fuck would you kill your own Grandmother you twisted child!" Dad yells, getting up. His face is red from anger.

I didn't even do anything and yet he already has this look like he wants to kill me. I think I should get the award for how quick you can manage to get your parents to want to kill you.

I quickly huddle myself and Ruby out of the living room and we bolt up the stairs and I'm sure I can hear my dad following. Mum does as well.

We dive into Ruby's room and lock the door. It doesn't stop dad from violently shaking the door handle and pushing against the door. It's going to break if he carries this on.

I hear a loud sob and I turn to see Ruby desperately trying not to cry. She can't help but let the tears stream down her cheeks however.

I say nothing but pull her close and cradle her as I sit back against the door in a poor attempt to hold it and place. I push back against it all I can, hoping that it's enough to stop dad from breaking through. Perhaps he'll stop in a few minutes.

"Don't worry, he'll stop soon." I whisper to Ruby, rocking her back and forth. She nods frantically in panic and huddles herself closer to me. I can't help but feel sorry for her. What has she even done to deserve this? "Just try and go to sleep. Everything will be okay, just close your eyes and go to sleep."

I rock her back and forth as if she were a baby. I don't mind and she doesn't either. It's comforting and it's what's best for her.

Her sobs soon reduce to nothing and soon it's replaced with heavy breathing, indicating that she has finally gone to sleep.

Dad has long gone stopped trying to break the door down thankfully. I'm glad, the last hit he did on the door I was pretty sure it was going to break down. I'm going to have to try to get a stronger lock on Ruby's door; this lock isn't going to last long before it's broken off.

I stand up and carry Ruby over to her bed and carefully place her under the covers. She looks so peaceful when she's asleep. Also so innocent.

I know she wouldn't be able to handle it if she starts to get hit.

That glass bottle that was thrown at us nearly hit her, I'm glad I managed to get her out of the way. I remember one time when I was a child I was out with Clyde and the others. Tweek had stepped right on top of a broken glass bottle when we were swimming and it looked horrible. The glass had to be pulled out with tweezers and the bloody cut stitched up. It was rather gruesome.

At least I didn't have to spend the night pulling glass out of Ruby or I. That would have been a little sickly.

I lean besides her bed and stare blankly at the door because I know I won't be able to sleep tonight. It turns out I'm right because I'm awake to watch the sun rise.

It's so peaceful just watching the sun rise. One of those small pleasures I have left.

When it's around 7am I creep open to the door and open it up silently and creep downstairs. Hopefully my parents would have the common sense to stock up the fridge or something.

No, I'm not thinking about breakfast. Though I haven't eaten at least since Friday. No, I need to make a packed lunch for Ruby and one for me. I don't really want either of us starving to death.

I head into the kitchen and I'm a little surprised when I step on broken glass. It's from the cup I dropped a few days back. They still haven't cleaned it up huh? That's something I might do, it really does depend on the situation.

The fridge is unfortunately next to empty but thankfully after some scavenging around I pull together two lunches. It's only a bruised apple and a packet of day out of date crisps but it's enough to keep us going right? Hopefully one of Ruby's friends will share with her, I know Karen does sometimes.

Oh shit. I wonder if Kenny is going to do a full interrogation on me today over why I was sleeping in the park. That would just be plain awkward. It was so obvious Kenny knew something was up the other day. I don't want him in my business though. He doesn't need to deal with any shit I put up with. Besides he needs to worry for his own family because I'm pretty sure his parents came out of rehab or something.

I turn around and head back upstairs with the packed lunches and put one in Ruby's school bag and one in mine, which I left in Ruby's room. I leave mostly everything of mine in Ruby's room because there is really no point of me leaving stuff in my room.

I never go in there anyway.

It's only been twenty minutes so I take that time to freshen myself in the bathroom. I've never been so happy to take a shower. It's only five minutes long because I want Ruby to be able to have one as well.

I quickly nip back into the bedroom and wake Ruby up for one.

She leaves and I sit on her bed sighing. I rub my eyes and lie back. I remember once at school someone called me a panda from the dark rings under my eyes. I don't really care that much.

After a few minutes I head out and back downstairs for a drink. I enter the kitchen only to want to turn back around.

Why does he have to be in the kitchen now?

"You came back home." Dad states.

Well why would I not? It's my home, somewhere I should feel safe in and where I live. Of course I would me here. I don't say anything though and silently pray he doesn't do anything stupid.

"Are you going to answer me or not?" He shouts.

I've just noticed his eyes are bloodshot. Probably from the fact he's hung-over or something. Well that is the effects of alcohol. Trust me, I know all this. I've had enough alcohol to know how shit you feel after a while from drinking it.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. This only just infuriates him further and he storms over. I just have to freeze to the spot.

I simply look up at him. Fuck, it's scary that your dad is way taller than you are. It's also scary when he's pissed off as well.

He doesn't even hesitate to connect his fist to my cheek causing me to stumble back. "Answer me when I speak to you, you dumb fuck!"

"Okay? What do you want me to say?" I ask him.

"Don't get cocky with me lad." He says.

I don't even recall being cocky. He sure is in a bad mood. In a bad enough mood to use his son as a punching bag anyway.

It hurts when he punches you over and over again but the worst pain was when he suddenly kicks you in the stomach when you're on the floor over and over.

He only stops when I hear someone quickly running down the stairs, yelling at him to stop.

It's Ruby.

Dad looks at her, silently seething. He storms past the both of us and heads back upstairs.

"God what's he done to you?" Ruby asks, kneeling down next to me.

"Nothing, it's fine." I insist, pulling myself up even though it hurts my stomach.

"Why did he do that?"

"I don't even know." I mumble. Ruby helps me stand up and when I do I stretch slightly despite it hurting my arms and legs. "Come on, I'll get the bags and leave."

"You don't have to, I've already got them." Ruby says, passing mine over.

I thank her and we both leave to go to school. I'm still a little sore but it's nothing I can't handle. The pain will numb down and reduce to nothing soon enough.

On the way Ruby meets up with some of her friends. I tell her to walk along with them and she does though I can see the guilty look on her face as she walks away. I don't mind. We would have both separated in a few minutes anyway.

I reach the school in a few minutes and look around to see if anyone is actually here. That I like anyway. I know I'm a picky asshole. Oh well, like I'm bothered anyway.

I head inside and locate my locker. At first it's hard to remember where your locker is when you start this school because there are so many of them and they're all identical but after a few years you can simply head over to it because you just know where it is.

There are a few people in the hallway.

"Hey Craig." Kevin says when I open my locker. I turn to look at him and offer him a nod before turning back to my locker to sort out my books.

We're both cool and he knows that. Getting a nod from me is an equivalent to a hello or a smile from a regular person. Let me just tell you I'm not one of those people who smile all the time or like to start friendly chit chat. Probably because the truth is I just find them rather awkward. The conversations I mean.

"Have you seen Red around? She said she wanted to speak to me." He asks me.

I shrug. "I just got here." I tell him.

"Ah. Well thanks anyway. See you around alright?" He says before wandering off to find Red. He probably wants to ask her out or something. I heard she broke up with her last boyfriend a week ago and is still looking for someone.

Well I think she's a lesbian. What? Have you not seen how close she and Annie are? It would make sense if she was one anyway. She can never last a week with a boy and when people say why she just says the relationships never work out.

However if I said to someone that she was a lesbian then I would have all the girls on me in only few seconds. Girls are scary. They get so defensive over each other. I mean a few weeks back when this boy insulted Sally that boy got bitch slapped so many times that his face got swollen for a week.

He has never spoken to a girl since.

I close my locker and turn around only to be met with a pair of bright blue eyes. Oh great. "McCormick." I simply say and hope our conversation is going to be a smooth one.

Kenny grins at me. He's not wearing his parka hood so you can see his golden messy hair. I don't know if he doesn't brush it on purpose or he doesn't even own a brush but even I have to admit the way he does his hair is really hot. Not that I'm gay or anything. It just looks nice on him, that's all.

"So how are things Craig?" He asks, putting a hand on one of the lockers and practically leaning in so close I have to take a step back. "I haven't seen you since the other night. You and Ruby doing well?"

"Yeah. We're doing fine thanks." I mumble awkwardly.

Kenny pulls a serious face and looks at me. "You know if you really do have any serious problems you come to me alright? I don't like it when people have problems I can't help with."

"I don't have any problems." I say to him. Wow, I've just realized how stoic I sound and how stoic I am. It's sort of scary. Am I some sort of robot or something? Wait, robots don't bleed blood. Never mind.

He doesn't look fully convinced and he looks at me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure Craig? You know you can tell me anything."

"I'm pretty sure I'm alright." I say.

Kenny stays silent for a few moments. "So, is your lip better? It certainly looks better."

"Oh yeah, it's fine." I say.

"Good. It looked horrible. How did you do it again?" He asks me.

I cast my mind back. Oh yeah, I apparently fell down the stairs. "I fell down the stairs." I remind him.

"At home?" He asks.

"Yep."

Wow, world's best liar right here. I need a reward for this or something. I've lost count on how many times I've lied in my lifetime. Probably a lot.

Kenny leans back and follows me when I start walking down the hallway. He tries to spark up a conversation but by now he really should know that I don't like to talk. Doesn't stop him from trying. "So apparently we have this school project coming up soon in our social studies class. It sounds shit though. Well it's better than some other classes, like science. I don't mind English 'cause our teacher certainly has a nice set." Kenny says. Have I ever told you that Kenny is like the world's biggest pervert? "Surprised you haven't daydreamt over them. They're like perfect."

"Whatever Kenny." I say warily. I'm not really bothered about my English teacher's chest thank you very much.

We walk along and some football players walk past us.

It would have been absolutely normal if one of them didn't knock into my stomach. Kenny carries on walking but I stop. It doesn't take him that long to realize that something is wrong.

The moment they knocked into my stomach I started coughing, violently too.

"Shit, are you alright?" Kenny asks, rushing over to me.

I don't answer for obvious reasons. I cough into my hands, hoping this would pass but it doesn't.

Next thing I know I sink to my knees and continue to cough violently. I start to feel a little scared when I taste something metallic in my mouth and when I feel liquid drip onto my hands. Turns out it's blood.

Kenny is rubbing my back and kneeling right beside me but when he notices the blood he turns frantic. He shouts for some random kid in the hallway to go to the nurse. They do.

There is a large crowd forming around the both of us. Do they have to be so noisy? It's just someone coughing up blood, nothing too serious right? Well when you put it like that it does sort of sound really serious.

The nurse comes running and the crowd is told to leave.

She asks me if I can stand up and I nod. Kenny insists he helps me stands up and holds onto my arm.

The world is spinning when I'm on my two feet. Kenny reluctantly lets go of my arm and says he'll go to the nurse's office with me.

I take a step forwards but it ends up in a stumble. Before I get the chance to hit the ground my world turns black. The last thing I felt was not the harsh impact of the floor but arms catching me.


	6. KM What Relationships Need

**_Wow, I am so proud of myself for getting two chapters done in two days with both of them 4,000 words long. _**

**_Thanks for the reviews :3 Each review makes me feel so much happier and more motivated._**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

I've said this once and I'll say it again. Craig is really light.

I carried him all the way to the nurse's office. I ignored all the strange stares people threw at me. Amongst the strange stares there were a few worried stares as well. Who wouldn't be worried? If someone randomly started to cough up blood then you would be a little bit scared at the least.

Once inside the nurse's office she instructs me to place him onto the bed which is in the corners. White walls and tiled floors, all nurse offices are the same. At least it's not the hospital. Hospitals are creepy. I hate the sound of a heart monitor; it just scares me because I'm terrified of the sound when it indicates that the person has died.

"Could you wait outside while I examine him?" The nurse asks.

"Sure. Can I come straight back in after?" I ask her.

She nods but tells me sternly I have to leave. I agree. Our school nurse is pretty hot. She has blonde hair which is tied into bunches and bright green eyes. She also has a nice set as well, pretty curvy in my opinion.

Yeah, I'm always such a pervert.

I sit on the plastic chairs outside the nurse's office and lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. I knew something was up with him. I really did.

From the moment I took him home from the park I knew something was up with him. He just wouldn't let me fucking help. Why does he have to be so damn stubborn? It's so painfully obvious that he needs help, or he needs to ask for some anyway. It's so simple in my mind. Go up to someone and ask them for help.

I'm not him though and I guess I can't force him to ask for help. I guess if things get serious then I can step in though that'll probably piss him off. I don't know. Craig Tucker is one person I have no idea about. He's so mysterious. That's why I just want to know him some more.

It's a shame he thinks I'm annoying. Probably from our childhood.

Yeah our childhood at South Park has certainly been a little more than strange.

After a little while the nurse heads out and she looks at me for a few moments in confusion then she actually remembers that I was waiting for Craig. "You can head inside now if you want. I just have to head over to the office and do something." She tells me.

I nod at her and head inside.

I see Craig lying on the bed on his side looking over at the wall. I can tell he's in pain and also that he isn't happy. "So, how are you doing now?" I ask him. He doesn't answer. "You scared me out there you know. I didn't really expect you to randomly start coughing up blood, you are better now aren't you? Just a one off or something like that?"

Craig plays around with the duvet with his fingers whilst still looking away from me. "Yeah, just a one off." He says. "Could you pass my jumper over? The nurse told me I had to take it off."

I head over to him and place a hand on his forehead to his annoyance. I quickly remove it. "Fuck! You could fry eggs on your forehead. You're boiling, you don't need a jumper!" I tell him. I take a seat on the chair that is besides the bed. I place his blue jumper onto my lap.

"I'm cold though." He insists, turning over to look at me.

I bite my lip. I've never been the one for medical type of things at school. I've never really been bothered about it. All I know is that if you're ill with a temperature or something like that and your cold but you're also feeling warm, you must keep under the bed covers at home. I don't even know anymore. "Will you be okay with it?"

"It's a jumper, it's not like it's going to kill me." Craig deadpans.

"I don't know you could suffocate on it." I point out with a really annoying tone of voice. I love that tone of voice because I absolutely know it pisses everyone off. Craig is no exception. He frowns at me with a really unimpressed look on his face. "Fine, fine. Here, take it then." I say, handing the blue jumper over to him.

He takes it carefully and simply drapes it over his shoulders. "It's cold in here." He mumbles.

"Hmm." It isn't cold for me. "So, are you alright now? When did you wake up?"

"A few minutes ago." Craig says. "The nurse said she was going to the office for some reason. Obviously for nothing good."

"Perhaps its fine, was it about you?" I ask him.

"Yeah, she wants to call up my parents." He explains. I notice his voice has gone extremely flat. "Fucking hell they aren't going to be happy."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Everything alright at home?" I ask him.

"Oh, yeah. Everything is fine." He says.

"You sure?" I ask.

"Yes." He snaps, turning back around.

I blink at him, surprised by his sudden outburst. "Dude, you okay?"

He doesn't answer but I can hear the sound of his deep breathing. I never really thought he could actually get pissed off. When I mean that I mean _really _pissed off. I guess some people are a lot more different than I thought they were going to be. I don't even know if that's a good thing or if that's a bad thing. Perhaps it's something in the middle.

He coughs again and my first intention is to flip him over to see if he's actually coughing up blood again or something but then I realize he isn't so I just sit tight in the chair. This chair is a lot nicer on my ass because the one outside was a really hard plastic. This chair inside the nurse's office is more cushioned so it's obviously a lot more comfy.

"So, are you alright now?" I ask him after a few minutes. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you."

I hear Craig sigh. "It's fine."

"Good." I say to him.

The door opens and the nurse walks back in though she's frowning. "No one answered the phone, is nobody at home?" She asks Craig once she's closed the door.

"I don't know. They're either in or out." He mumbles, turning back over and sitting up. I see him flinch slightly and I can tell it's from his stomach. "There is no point in trying again if you're thinking of doing that."

"Okay then." The nurse says. She heads over to the end of the bed with a clipboard. I never really know how professional this school is. Our last school nurse was shit; she had no idea what she was actually doing most of the time. "I want to ask you some questions. You have to give the complete truth alright?"

Craig shrugs before nodding. "Okay, what do you want to ask?"

"When was the last time you ate?" She first asks. She's looking down at the clipboard and scribbling down random notes. I don't know what's she's writing, probably some medical notes. "Meal wise as well as snack wise."

He looks up in thought. I can just tell he's probably trying to make up a lie or something. Instead he just goes with the usual answer which people use when they don't want to tell the truth. "I can't remember." He says.

That backfires. "You can't remember the last time you ate?" The nurse asks with a shocked voice.

Craig blinks at her before sighing. He knows she wants the truth. "It was on Friday morning, which was the last time I ate."

"Craig, you do realize that was literally nearly three days ago?" The nurse asks, once again scribbling away at her clipboard. "What was it that you ate?"

"I don't know, I think it was a few bites from a breakfast bar." He says.

"Okay then. Can I ask how things are like at home?" The nurse asks next.

Craig looks like he wants to scream at her. She's obviously asking the questions that he doesn't care to answer. "Everything is absolutely fine at home. People need to stop asking that." He mumbles, shifting around slightly.

"That's what I just wanted to know. I do have one last question though. How are you feeling yourself? Not just medically but emotionally?" She asks, looking at him straight in the eye.

That question caught him off guard. He looks at her for a few moments before giving his answer. "I don't know, I just feel like I always do. Normal. I don't really think there are any problems so I'm absolutely fine."

I never known someone who has lied so much in my life.

"You were alright the other day weren't you?" I ask him.

Craig looks at me with a slight gleam of annoyance in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You were down at the park with your little sister weren't you?" I say. "You said you lost your house keys didn't you?"

The last part makes him glare at me dangerously. "Yeah, I lost the keys." He says slowly.

"So where did you stay the night then or did you manage to go home?" The nurse asks.

"I… Ruby and I stayed at a friend's house for a night." He says to her. I note that Craig forced the word 'friend' out. Obviously someone isn't happy with me. "Everything was alright so I don't see any reason for you to worry."

"Okay then." The nurse says, finishing jotting down whatever she was writing. "Well I think I'll go and grab something for you to eat. Do you think you can handle some food?"

I raise an eyebrow at her. How can some people not handle to eat some food? When I haven't gone for a while eating food I end up literally attacking what's on my plate when there is food given. You should never take food for granted.

"I can." Craig simply says to her. "Thank you."

She merely nods at him before leaving through the door once again.

The moment she leaves Craig shoots me a dark glare. "Did you have to tell her that? You had no right to." He says.

"I'm sorry. I thought that was something that she might of wanted to know." I admit. "I know you weren't telling the full truth. I just worry about you."

"There is no reason for you to worry about me." He says. "I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself thank you very much."

I sigh. "Okay then."

I know that he knows that I'm not fully convinced but we both just sit in silence instead of talking. It's really not my fault he's so awkward. Well I know from experience and history that Craig is rather picky over his friends. Apparently you really do need to get to know him really well before he even considers you an acquaintance. Still then he won't let you get to know him so much. It's like he has this super dark secret that he doesn't want anyone to know. It just makes me more curious about him. I bet it annoys him that I want to know him.

We both stay sitting still for a few more minutes before the nurse comes back in again.

"I reckon you'll be able to handle this." She says. The nurse has a tray which has on top of it an apple, a bag of carrot sticks, an apple carton and also a ham sandwich. A decent looking meal if the school made it if I say so myself. The school is never capable of making a decent meal. She places the tray on the counter besides the bed.

Craig thanks her and takes the apple to eat.

"Sign yourself out at the end of the day or you can sign out now and head home. I don't want you going to class." The nurse says. "Someone could knock into you again and you've already lost enough blood. You're lucky that you're not in the hospital."

I look at Craig who simply stares at the red apple. "Oh. I don't need to go to the hospital though?" He asks.

"No, as long as you do alright then I think you'll be able to avoid a trip to the hospital. Now eat up. If you need me I'll be in the room next door okay?" The nurse explains before heading into a room next door.

Craig bites his lip. "You know you're supposed to eat the apple, not your lips." I joke to him. He doesn't even respond and I quickly tap his lip with my finger so he releases his lip from his tooth. "Earth to Craig, you still here?"

"Yeah, just was in a daydream." Craig tells me. "Do you want something to eat? You've been with me all this time and I'm not sure what time it actually is."

I shake my head. "No, you need this food. You enjoy it okay?"

"Okay then..."

I stand up and stretch. "I think I need to head back to class now, unless you want me to stay with you of course?"

"No, it's fine. Do whatever you want." Craig says. "Just, thanks okay?"

I grin at him before heading over to the door.

"No problem." I say happily before leaving.

* * *

"Dude, what happened this morning?" Kyle asks me during the lunch hour.

He isn't the first person that has already asked me this. Oh well. "You should know. Just listen to the rumours okay?"

"Oh, that you're totally gay for Craig?" Cartman says. He grins devilishly as I nearly choke on my water. "Oh Kinny, I knew you and the asshole would totally get together."

Stan pats my back as I manage to get my breath back. "Who told you that?"

"That Tammy chick." Cartman says. "Apparently Craig like was choking up buckets of blood and you flew in and helped him but then you carried him over to the nurse's office. You're a hero Kinny! That's why Craig is now all over your ass."

"What the fuck fatass?" Kyle asks. "I don't really think all that happened."

"But it's true Kahl. Craig is a total weakling." Cartman tells him.

I roll my eyes. Cartman must also know that Craig was knocked in his stomach which made him cough up that blood. "Keep your nose out of what isn't your business." I say, 'borrowing' a chip from Stan's plate though I know he doesn't even care. "He didn't cough up buckets of blood. Probably a cup full the most."

"That's bad still." Kyle says. "They didn't even take him to the hospital either. For all we know he could be bleeding inside or something."

"Kahl, no one wants to listen to your smartass comments." Cartman says harshly.

It isn't that surprising when Kyle hits Cartman and the both of them end up starting to hit each other. Unfortunately for them Mr Mackey just had to walk into the cafeteria so the two of them get sent down to the principle's office.

I laugh. "Well that was nothing new." I say to Stan.

"I guess so." He replies.

"So, you doing good today? You do look better." I tell him.

He smiles at me for a second before going back to the usual expression. "I don't know, I feeling a lot better today anyway. My head isn't hurting for once. I can actually think straight. I guess because my parent's were out at work last night and you know Shelly has long gone left the house." He explains to me. "So, I was thinking about going down the animal rescue group tonight. I saw a leaflet for it and they need volunteers for over the week, what do you think?"

"Go for it. You like animals so I don't really see why not." I say to him whilst reaching over and taking Kyle's half eaten lunch. Not like he's going to eat it now he's down at the office anyway. "Hey, perhaps you can have a new dog? Don't they usually have a few puppies?"

Stan nods, looking down. "I think that'll be alright. I don't really think my parents would notice that much. I can always get a job if I need extra cash for any pet supplies." He has a happy glint in his eyes but he doesn't smile. "I remember when Sparky was still around. He was my best friend. Well one of them anyway. I really did love him. It was a shame he had to die."

His dog died from old age a while back. That sure didn't help Stan. I think that was around the time Stan started to drink. Stan can't keep shit from me, I knew from the start that he drinks all the time. I don't know if it was that one night he headed to my home thinking it was his for a few minutes or from the fact he had forgotten to take his garbage basket out which was full to the brim of cans. At first he tried to hide the fact but now he's pretty open about his drinking. I don't think he really gives a fuck any more.

It's a shame he's never open to people about how he's feeling. I know that Kyle worries about him all the time because Stan just never tells anyone how he's feeling any more. I mean he used to a few years back but now he's just completely independent. That sort of makes me feel a little sad because I think as Stan as my baby.

Yes it does rather sound strange but there are so many reasons. Firstly is because he's smaller than me by a lot and I can't help but want to pick him up. I tried it once and ended up with a black eye because he had no clue and hit my eye. It was so worth it. Then he's really close to me. Seriously we've been friends since pre-school. Finally I just view him as a younger brother for some reason even though he is older than me. He just sort of reminds me of Karen. I don't even know why.

"So, how are you doing with Craig then?" Stan catches me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Well it's obvious you like him because you're always checking him out for a starter and then you did sort of become his prince charming today." Stan tells me. "I don't really care that much though. I think you both might actually be nice together."

"Hmm, you really think so?" I ask him, being serious.

"Yeah. I mean he's boring and not really exciting and you're the absolute opposite. You'll both be perfect for each other because you'll balance each other out with your persona's. It's healthy for a relationship for the two people to be a little different in traits so they'll always have something to work on to become even more happy. It's also more exciting for your relationship." He explains to me. "It's not always good when two people are the same because in the end they'll just bore each other out."

"Woah, when did you become the match maker?" I ask him in a joking manner. Though I'm also being serious. This is the first time I've actually heard him rant on about relationships. He's actually the last person I thought who would be on about relationships with his history. Let's just say that I think it's probably Wendy Testaburger's fault that he's sort of paranoid over relationships because when she broke up with him for the last time she really did break his heart.

He shrugs, nibbling on a carrot stick. "I don't even know, I'm just giving my point on a healthy relationship." He sighs. "Some people don't have happy relationships but they don't even realize."

"Well they're stupid people right?" I say to him, flinging an arm around him. "You know, I can't even remember the last time I had some fun."

Stan looks at me with a horrified expression. "What do you mean by _that_?" He asks.

I laugh loudly and literally pull him over so that he's almost sitting on my lap. "Don't worry, I know you're fragile. I won't try and break you yet." I grin at him madly. "Ah I'm joking. You know we're way too much of friends that I'd want to do that with you. Don't worry."

"I know." He mumbles. I know I've made him feel awkward and I try and think of a solution.

"Hey, how about you and me have a sleepover at mine tonight?" I ask him. "You can check out that animal shelter then you can go and crash at mine. How about that?"

"Sounds like a good idea." Stan says. "Hey, how is it doing at your house anyway? And your sister as well? Is Karen doing alright?"

"Yeah. Oh yeah that reminds me. She was asking when your coming over next. I think you have a secret admirer." I tell him. True enough Karen does enjoy it when Stan comes over. Well he does actually manage to look after children good. He's a rather good baby sitter. He's just got that magic with children. "And the house? Yeah that's doing alright. I think my dad wants it painting up so I think we're going to be painting soon."

"That's good. You getting your room decorated then?" Stan asks me.

I rub my chin. "Probably. Hey, if I have to paint my walls what colours do you think I should paint it?"

"Orange."

I laugh. "Probably, though how about a soft orange. Bright orange would just give you a headache."

"Obviously." Stan says. "So, any specific time I should come over?"

I gasp at him and he looks at me confused.

"What?"

"You can totally say specific without messing up. You are amazing." I announce.

He rolls his eyes. "Can you just answer my question?"

"Oh yeah. Just any time. You can have dinner if you want. I'm sure ma will make extras." I tell him.

"Cool."

The bell rings so we both stand up and head off to our next class. "I can't wait for this class."

"Why?" Stan asks as we go up the stairs.

"Because, our teacher has perfect boobs."


	7. SM What Scares You

**_Next update isn't going to be for a little while. Review if you enjoyed or if there is something specific you want next :3 Sometimes you're like 'I think this should happen next' or is it only me? Probably :3_**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

I walk along the path towards my house. I don't know if my parents are in or not. I have no idea where they were last night because they were both out and both of their cars were out. That only means they left without each other. That's nothing really surprising but it's rather sad.

Well what's sad is that they can't even sit in the same car as each other without arguing. I don't really get why they don't break up with each other yet.

At first I really did care if they did break up and now I'm actually just waiting for them to break up. It's getting pathetic. It's so obvious they aren't happy with each other and yet they stay together and argue all the time. It's always over the smallest things as well and the stupidest things as well. I really don't get them most of the time.

I reach my house and open the door. It's quiet but I know someone is home, the door was unlocked. They never really leave the door unlocked unless they've forgotten to lock it. That's not really common though so I just know someone is home.

I head into the kitchen where mum is sitting at the table with her head in her hands. She looks up and smiles at me but I can tell that smile is strained and forced. "Hi honey, had a nice day at school?" She asks me.

I shrug and slip into a seat beside her. "You okay mum?"

"Why wouldn't I?" She asks me, sitting up straight. Mum quickly pats her short hair back into place. It's such a bad attempt to cover herself up.

"Because you were sort of sitting at the table with your head in your hands. You want to talk to me or something?" I ask her. Well isn't someone being the perfect son today?

"I don't know Stanley. There have just been some problems with your father and I. He's been fired the other day and my job doesn't get that much pay. We'll probably have to move out into a smaller flat soon. We can't afford a big house anymore." She explains to me. "I guess we can rent out Shelly's bedroom if we needed more money or I can always get a second job."

"No, you don't need to get a new job. I can always get a job if you really need the money." I offer her, or more like tell her. I like this house and there is no way in hell I'm going to let it go without a fight. "Why doesn't dad not just get another job?"

Mum scowls and stands up. "He's been seeing other woman, that's why." She snaps, heading over to the sink and picking up a dirty plate and starts to rub on it vigorously. "I can't believe him? Am I not good enough for him? For heaven's sake he also has a son to look after as well!"

I blink at her and sigh. "Well, I'm staying at a friend's house tonight, is that alright with you?" I ask her.

"Oh, sure. Have a good time and call if anything goes wrong alright?" She tells me, not looking away from the plates in the sink.

I sit at the seat for a few more minutes just merely looking at the empty fruit bowl in the middle of the table. "Yeah, I sure will." I say quietly. I slip out of the chair and head upstairs with my satchel hitting the side of my leg at every step. I don't even notice when I feel a little dribble of blood soak onto my jeans. Even then I'm not even that bothered.

Inside my room I throw my bag into the corner and collapse onto my bed. The animal group should is on in an hour so I'll walk down then.

I like animals. They're cute. I especially like dogs for some reason. I just think they're the best friends you can ever have. I guess some people call that gay though and that sort of makes me feel sad when people think that. I guess I'm sad most of the time so I don't really care anyway.

Almost unconsciously I reach under my bed and produce a bottle of vodka out. Something that I paid Cartman a few dollars for last week because I really needed it. The asshole just handed the bottle over to me behind the school while I slipped a wad of dollars into his hands. He can just about do anything to make money.

I unscrew the lid and the strong smell of vodka instantly flows into my nose. It's strong and it makes me feel sick but I push aside the feeling and take a quick shot of it using the lid to pour the liquid into. It burns my throat when I swallow it and I take a few breaths before taking another sip. Vodka usually isn't my preferred choice but since that was the only alcohol Cartman said he had available I accepted it. I know I'm going to grow to like it sooner or later anyway.

After a few shots I screw the lid back on and carelessly throw it under the bed. I made sure not to drink so much because after all I'll be at Kenny's and that animal centre. I need to be completely sober when I head to both of those places.

I head into the bathroom and thoroughly brush my teeth. After five minutes I leave the bathroom and head back into my bedroom where I start to throw some clothes and other things into my school satchel.

I leave the house and make my way down to the animal rescue group which is downtown. I'm surprised to see how empty it is when I walk inside.

Thankfully I spot a receptionist and head over to her. When she spots me she smiles cheerfully and gives a little wave. "Hello! Can I help you?" She asks me.

"Uh, I just found a leaflet about this animal rescue group and apparently it needs help for the week or something?" I ask the woman.

She nods eagerly. "We rescued a bunch of little puppies the other day from an abandoned house. Apparently the owner couldn't be bothered about taking his dog with him. Some people are unbelievable aren't they?" She explains to me while I nod in agreement. "I'm glad you came in today. Most of our volunteers are out doing some tasks to advertise the puppies so we need someone to look after them for a bit. You think you'll be able to do that?"

"Sure." I tell her.

When I agree she smiles brightly before leading me through a door. Inside I see a rather large basket with around five corgi puppies sitting inside. They are so cute. "Someone else is looking after them for a while as well so they'll tell you what to do." The receptionist says. "Thank you so much for doing this. It's always nice to find a new animal lover to help around."

"No problem." I say, giving her a small smile.

She leaves the room and I stand awkwardly at the door looking at the five corgis. They look cute enough with bright eyes and they have tall ears. They're all looking at me expectantly and the next thing I know they're all running over. It's rather amusing since they're all tripping over each other trying to reach me first.

I take pity and head over to them and kneel down in front of them. They all start yapping for attention so in each turn I stroke each one. I notice they're all wearing different coloured collars. I find that cute.

"Oh. Hi Stan." I turn my head and see Red walk into the room through another door. She is carrying two thin blue blankets. "I didn't know you liked dogs."

"Hi. Uh, yeah I love dogs. They're pretty sweet aren't they?" I stroke one of them on the head softly.

"I think Cindy has taken a liking to you." Red chuckles.

"Huh?"

"They all have names you know." Red tells me. "The one you're stroking is Cindy. The one in the blue collar is Bubbles. Then the one in the purple collar is Nina." She heads over to the two remaining two and picks them up carefully. "And the one in the red collar is Tobi and finally there is Luka in the pink collar."

"Cute names, did you make them up?" I ask her whilst picking up Cindy. I can tell she's the smallest puppy from the litter. She's pretty none of the less, it's probably her bright blue eyes.

Red nods and kneels besides me, causing the corgis apart from Cindy to run over to her. "You know, we're always looking for someone to adopt one of these puppies. Are you interested?" She asks me and gestures towards Cindy. "She really likes you I can tell. It's usually hard these days to actually find people who want to adopt a dog."

I bit my lip and look at Cindy. If the situation was completely different I would have probably said yes straight away but now that mum has told me all about the money situation I'm not really completely sure. "I'm just not sure if I can." I admit. "Cindy is pretty cool but I don't think I have the right… funds for her."

"Don't worry; adopting a dog is completely free." Red assures me. "And if it's the supplies you're worried about I think I can do something about that. I have a few puppies at home myself and always buy way too much food for them so I could always give you some if you want."

"Really?" I blink at her and give her a thankful nod. "That would be great but are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I love animals and I can tell you will be able to look after Cindy perfectly well. She's perfectly trained and just look at her, she's practically fallen in love with you on first sight. So what do you think?" Red asks me, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

I look down at Cindy. She nuzzles into my hand as I stroke her head. How am I supposed to say no to that? "I guess I can adopt her." I say in the end.

Red lets out a sudden cheer. "Yay! Thank you so much! You don't know how much this is going to help us." She tells me. "I'll just go and get the papers and we can fill them out alright?"

She quickly bounds out of the room causing all the other puppies to quickly jump over to me and literally tackle me onto the floor. When did puppies get to be so strong? I let out a small laugh while carefully picking up the puppies and placing them back onto the floor and quickly sit up before they can knock me down again.

A few moments later Red comes back into the room with some papers and a pen. She hands them over to me and after a few minutes of her instructing me what to do and a lot of writing, the papers are signed. "Though is it alright if I pick her up tomorrow? I have to go somewhere tonight." I admit sheepishly whilst rubbing the back of my neck.

"Sure, that's fine!" Red says. "I'm sure Cindy would like to stay one more night with her brothers and sisters anyway."

"Cool." I look at the puppies again who are now deciding if they should tackle me again or run over to Red. Bubbles and Tobi go over to her whilst Cindy, Luka and Nina sit on my lap quite happily. "So, is there anything specific we can do now?" I ask Red.

"Just play with them for a little bit. They love getting a lot of attention." Red says. She heads over to a counter and pulls out a few chew toys and two pieces of rope. "They like to play tug-of-war though I do warn you they will pull you over if you're not balanced."

"I'll keep that in mind." I say and pick up a chew toy that looks like a shoe. Luka almost instantly jumps onto it and starts chewing it happily.

"Yeah, that's Luka's toy. She doesn't really like to share it." Red says with a grin on her face. She throws me a piece of rope over and I catch it but then the next thing I know is that two of the puppies are pulling at the other end of it. They make determined noises whilst trying to pull it out of my grasp and in the end they succeed.

After what seems an hour or two I say I have to leave.

"You'll come back tomorrow to pick up Cindy won't you?" Red asks me and I give her a reassuring nod before giving Cindy one last stroke as well as one more for everyone other dog. I pick up my satchel which had been left in the corner and leave through the doors.

I start to make my way to Kenny's house. I've just noticed it's such a nice day today. The sun is shining and the snow has melted in some area making the grass shine brightly in some areas. It's a shame it's a little colder than usual.

Kenny's house is just a few minute walk away and when I arrive I knock at his front door. I don't even have to wait too long because in only a few seconds after knocking the door opens.

Karen is the one who answers it and when she sees me she gives me a big smile. "Hi Stan! Kenny said you were coming today." She says to me. "He's in his room with Kyle."

"Okay. When did Kyle come?" I ask her as I step inside.

"Oh, just around an hour ago. Kenny said it might be better if it's you three. You don't mind do you?" Karen asks me anxiously.

"Nah, I don't mind." I tell her. "How have you been lately then?"

"Oh great! Ma has been baking cakes lately as well as some homemade meals. They're nice. I can't wait for you to try some, they're the absolute best." Karen tells me. She seems actually happy to talk to me. "Also we're planning on redecorating the house a little bit more when ma and pa earn a little more money. They said it might be a month or so until we can afford it but I don't mind waiting that long."

"That's good. Are you going to decorate your room?" I ask.

"Oh yeah, I was thinking of getting something more grown up. Do you have any suggestions?" Karen asks me with a hopeful look. Why are girls giving me so many hopeful looks today? Guess I'm mister popular.

I look at her for a few moments trying to think what would suit her. "How about sky blue walls to match your eyes?" I finally say.

She seems happy enough and agrees happily to my idea before heading into the kitchen to probably ask her parents about it.

Meanwhile I head into Kenny's room. I knocked lightly on the door before doing so but I walk in without waiting for an answer. Kenny and Kyle are lying on the bed and watching something on Kyle's laptop he must have brought over.

They both smile when they notice I've arrived. "You finally arrived!" Kenny says happily, standing up and heading over to me. I expected the hug he gave me and I return it. "Hmm, you have a good time down at the animal centre?"

"Yeah. I ended up adopting one of the little puppies." I say.

Kenny stops hugging and gives me a huge grin. "I knew you were going to do that. So tell me about him or her? Are they cute?"

"It's a little corgi which is brown and white. She has bright blue eyes and she's called Cindy." I tell him.

"That's a pretty name." Kyle says from the bed. "When can we meet her then?"

"Probably tomorrow. She's down at the animal centre right now. I couldn't really bring her here could I?" I say and they both make an understanding sound.

I place my satchel on the floor and sit down on the bed besides Kyle.

"Hmm, what are you watching?" I ask whilst peering curiously at the computer screen.

"The Woman in Black. We fancied a scary film." Kenny says, sitting behind me. "We're only five minutes into it if you want to watch it with us?"

I'm not the biggest fan of watching scary films but I agree none of the less. We all lie on our stomachs and watch the screen. I lie in the middle with Kyle to my right and Kenny to my left.

At some point it went dark and the lights were turned off by one of us when standing up. The bright screen lights up only our faces.

A few times I swallow heavily and look at the screen a little scared. I almost freak when I feel a hand drape across my shoulders but it's only Kyle. We don't say any but he knows I'm silently grateful. His arm doesn't move even when the films ends so when Kenny turns to light back on he looks at us with a playful look.

"Oh, you totally took chose that movie Kyle so you could do that." Kenny says teasingly.

Kyle isn't the one to be playful but he actually gives Kenny a wink and sits back up, pulling me along with him. "Yeah, I totally did that." Kyle says to Kenny. "So, what do you want to do now?"

"Ma said dinner would be ready about this time so let's go and check." Kenny says. He leaves the room and Kyle and I follow in route. Karen and her dad are sitting on the sofa watching the television. Karen gives us a wave in acknowledgement whilst Mr McCormick gives us a nod.

Us three head into the kitchen where Mrs McCormick looks like she's just finished making dinner. "I made pizza, is that alright with all of you?" She asks us, placing plates around the table as well as plastic cups.

"That's fine Mrs McCormick, thank you." Kyle says and I echo him afterwards.

We all sit at the table and help ourselves to a slice of pizza each. "So, what happened between you and Cartman?" Kenny asks Kyle.

The blonde grinned at the scowl Kyle suddenly had on his face. "After school detention tomorrow. I can't believe it! It's usually just a lunch time but no, Mr Mackey just had to be a little bitch and give us a bloody after school."

"Oh well, you can spend it with your friend can't you?" Kenny says with a devious grin.

"Oh shut up." Kyle says and nibbles on his pizza. "I'm just glad my mother didn't find out or she would have hit the roof."

"That would be hilarious." Kenny laughs and Kyle merely frowns at him. "Okay, okay. Maybe it wouldn't but you have to admit your ma is way too strict with you."

"That's true." Kyle says thoughtfully. "She forgets sometimes I'm a teenager and perfectly independent to do things myself."

"She just doesn't want her little baby growing up. All parents are like that." Kenny says. "Well most of them anyway. Some just want to kick their kids out at the earliest opportunity."

Kyle laughs loudly. "Yeah that's totally true."

"How about your parents Stan? Do you think they want you out of the house or do you think they'll want you forever?" Kenny asks. He casually leans back on his chair so it's balancing on two legs. He places his feet, which thankfully have trainers on, on the table.

I shrug awkwardly and place my slice of half-finished pizza onto my plate. "I don't really think they care to be honest." I admit. "I'd have to ask them about that." If they're not arguing of course.

Kyle gives me a sympathetic look which I'm grateful for. "Don't worry; I'm sure they want you at home as much as possible." He tells me. "I know your parents; they were pretty upset when Shelly left weren't they?"

No, they were actually upset at each other because they wanted to make Shelly's room into different things. I think they were more thankful that my sister was leaving more than being sad. I don't tell them that of course but it's pretty much the truth. "I guess they were. It's a little more peaceful without her I guess." I laugh. That's the truth. She's so violent.

Our parents were sort of surprised when we were growing up. Dad wanted a boy with an attitude and confident who was also really, how do I put it, boyish? Then mum wanted a girly girl so she could go shopping with her and they could talk hair and makeup. Did they get that? Not at all.

Shelly is aggressive and more violent. She was definitely the definition of what dad wanted. I'm the more sensitive and quieter one of the two if I had to tell the complete truth about myself. Well at least mum got to take me out shopping.

Those shopping trips are over now. Obviously we don't have enough money for the shopping trips and secondly mum is never in the mood for them anymore. Arguing with dad must be tiring because she's either sleepily washing up or is sleeping in her bedroom. Dad always sleeps on the couch when mum is in bed and it's vice versa really. I really don't see the point why they're together anymore.

Kyle reaches over and wipes his thumb under my eye and at first I'm confused but then I realize my eyes are much more wet than usual. Fuck, have I just been crying? I frantically wipe both of my eyes and when Kenny and Kyle give me a questioning look I just look away.

"How about we head back into my room?" Kenny proposes whilst standing up. He looks at our plates and notices we've only eaten three and a half slices between us. "We can always come back later if we're hungry."

He quickly cleans around a little bit before us all head back into Kenny's bedroom. We all sink into his bed and sit in an awkward silence. "So how about we do something?" Kenny says, standing up and looking around his room to find something to do.

"How about we, no we just watched a film." Kyle says, losing the sudden flicker of light in his eyes. "Maybe we should do some homework?"

"No, don't be so boring." Kenny says, flicking Kyle's foot as he kneels under the bed. "I have a few board games if you want to play one of them?"

"What have you got?" I ask, leaning over the edge of the bed curiously.

"Snakes and Ladders, Monopoly and Checkers." Kenny tells me as he pulls the three games out of the bed. He opens one of the boxes and we're all surprised when instead of a game falling out at least a hundred creepy looking spiders crawl out.

Kenny lets out this huge girly scream and lunges on the bed whilst Kyle has an uncomfortable look on his face.

"Get rid of them!" Kenny says frantically, grabbing a rolled up piece of paper and starting to swing it around like an idiot. It's not secret Kenny is terrified of spiders.

Since Kyle is also a little scared of them I end up heading over to the bedroom window and opening it. We're not killing spiders so I'm sorry Kenny. At least they'll maybe crawl out.

I vaguely hear Kenny's bedroom door open and turn to see Karen standing at the door. When she spots the spiders she grins and looks up at Kenny. "You're so scared of them aren't you?" She says and heads inside the room.

"Don't come in, they might crawl on you!" Kenny says dramatically whilst clinging onto Kyle for dear life. "Okay, where is our tent we're sleeping in the garden tonight!"

"Are you that scared of spiders?" I ask him whilst heading over to his bed. He nods desperately and we all have pity on him.

"The tent is just in the closet outside." Karen tells him. "Come on, I'll help you set it up."

We all manage to leave the spider infested room and get the tent out of the closet. We head out into the garden and start putting it together. It's difficult at first because it turns out the instructions were missing so we had to guess where the pieces went. Thankfully to Kyle's smart brain and Karen's quick thinking tactics we manage to get the tent pulled up in a matter of a few minutes.

"That so wasn't hard." Kenny says cheerfully after he nails down the last post. Kyle and I look at him as if he were stupid whilst Karen simply giggles. She's a good little sister. Wish my sister was a lot more like her.

"Of course it wasn't." Kyle says, wiping his forehead. "I'm tired now."

"Well let's just go to sleep then." Kenny proposes. He turns to Karen and gives her a hug. "Thanks for helping us sis."

"No problem, just call me if you need anything else." Karen says before heading back inside her house.

Us three bundle into the tent and get ourselves comfortable as well as change into our pyjamas. We had brought out lots of blankets and pillows since none of us really brought or have sleeping bags. It's comfy inside none of the less.

Kenny practically lies on top of me as soon as he gets changed into his pyjamas and nearly crushes me to death. "Dude, get off." I say, pushing him of but since Kenny is being an asshole he refuses.

"No, I'm comfy here." He announces. "I'm going to sleep, g'night."

He fakes snoring which is obvious and I roll my eyes. I reach to push him off but I'm caught off guard when he grabs my wrists and practically pins me down. He sits on my waist and looks down at me playfully.

"So, how you doing?" He asks me.

"Uh, fine. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're not smiling." Kenny announces. "I know how to fix that!"

I give him a confused look but suddenly glare at him when he starts tickling me. Of course he uses one of my most deadly weaknesses against me. I can't get tickled without laughing loudly. It's seriously annoying. Not my laughing but the tickling part of course.

"Dude, dude! I give in, stop!" I cry.

He stops after a few moments and finally gets off me. I can finally breathe.

"Well I better not be sad around Kenny then." Kyle says out loud.

"Oh, you want to be tickled too?" Kenny asks Kyle. He looks like he's ready to pounce on him.

"No, I'm alright." Kyle says quickly and Kenny laughs loudly before lying down.

"It's time we went to sleep now. School tomorrow and all." Kenny says.

Me and Kyle both agree with him and lie down onto the pile of blankets. We throw one over ourselves each.

In a few minutes I hear the heavy breathing of the other two but I'm still awake. I toss and turn but no matter how hard I try I just can't sleep. I sigh in defeat after a while.

I guess it's my unhealthy sleeping routine. I'm so used to having next to nothing of sleep I end up finding it harder than usual to actually get asleep. It's a real pain in the ass sometimes.

I close my eyes one more time and try and think about stuff, more preferably boring since it's probably easier to fall asleep if you're bored. That's why a lot of people fall asleep in school.

I can't really remember what the last thing I thought of when I fell asleep was but when I open my eyes its light. Probably morning already. I move to sit up but when I feel something a little off I stop. I find I can't move, something is wrapped around me.

My eyes start to move down but I soon finally see that a pair of arms is wrapped around me. One is lazily resting over my waist while the other one is resting under my arm I'm lying on.

When rolling over I finally notice who it is. Turns out Kyle is a big hugger when he's asleep.

I try to decide if this is uncomfortable or not. Well, it's warm at least.


	8. CT Lift Your Head and Run

**_Warning: Covers depressing topics. Read at your own risk._**

**_Like what you're reading? Review so I can now! Each one is deeply appreciated._**

**_I don't own South Park_**

* * *

When I was younger I used to have this music box. It was a gift from my grandmother. I think I got it when I was around seven years old. I think Ruby was around three or something, almost four maybe. We both loved the music box, it always fascinated us.

We would sit in Ruby's bedroom with the lights turned off and her lavender scented candles scattered around. There were only few since she was only a baby but the smell just sort of put her to sleep. Anyway we'd sit in her room on her bed and make a den out of it so we'd have the duvet thrown over our heads. She's always sit on my lap and I'd place the music box in front of us both. It was a pretty music box made out of wood which looked shiny.

I'd let Ruby turn the key and after a few twists it would come to life. The lid would slowly open and out would come a spinning star and twinkly music would start to play slowly. I never knew the tune but it was a gentle song that put us both to sleep in a matter of minutes. If Ruby or I woke up in the middle of the night we'd usually play it again.

I loved that music box. It was a shame that the box had to be broken. I think it broke when I was around thirteen and when Ruby was ten.

It was the night after the funeral of my grandmother. Dad was pretty upset since he did love his mother and mum wouldn't really comfort him the best. He ended up with a bottle of red wine in the living room and a small flask of whiskey. He drank and drank and drank until he was completely wasted.

Of course Ruby was upset about our grandmother dying and so was I so we were sat in her room playing the music box. It both reminded us of our grandmother. It also painfully reminded us that she wasn't coming back and it was going to be the start of years of violent and pain.

Dad had barged in and when he heard the music box and something inside of him just snapped. He grabbed the music box and he threw it against the wall with the small cogs slipping out and scattering around nosily on the floor. The music was put to an abrupt halt the moment the box collided with the wall.

Breaking the box wasn't enough. He ended up beating his son black and blue that night.

It hurt.

You see. Even when you have a fond memory there is always something that connects with it to make it a completely fucked up one. I can't even remember the last time when I was completely happy and finally satisfied with my life.

I've long gone given up on everything.

So why is he starting to get closer to me? That McCormick, Kenny. It's strange because recently every time something bad happens he's sort of just been there. The park incident he just simply picked me up and he carried me to his home. Then he spent a while with me down at the nurse's office yesterday.

I don't see why he wants to get to know me or something along the line of that anyway. I'm just a lost soul wondering the world and wondering what the hell I should be doing with my life. To which the answer to that is protecting my little sister and trying not to die every time I do something normal and walking into my own home.

I take a drag from the cigarette before letting the pool of smoke blow out of my mouth. Sitting behind school at around 7am is something I'm long gone used to. Sometimes I'm alone and sometimes I'm not.

Today I'm sitting with the Goths. Don't even start before you say anything. They were here first and I always sit behind the school so I wasn't really going to bother to try and find somewhere else. Besides if I did that then the teachers would just be all over me for smoking. Then again they'll probably not even anything but hold a sympathetic look of their face. It's pathetic, even the teachers think I'm stupid and shouldn't even be here.

Suicide is a common topic throughout school here. I heard a girl jumped off from a bridge in front of an on-coming train the other day because she was so damn miserable. I didn't even know that girl yet I feel bad for her. Turns out when they examined her body there were bruises all over her. Turns out they were presents from her mother.

Then there was the time us boys walked into the locker rooms and there was a boy simply hanging from the light beam with a rope around his neck. It snapped just a few moments later and everyone screamed. I simply stared blankly at it. It was like I was so used to death or something.

The Goth kids are so annoying to hang around. They just drone on and on about how everything so conformist and everyone is just a Britney and Justin wannabe. The Goth kids do however have a few special conformists they secretly like. Such as Stan. I don't even know why they like him, something about him being a raven? Or perhaps him being called Raven, I don't know. He was a Goth when we were ten years old anyway. Guess they just think him as one of them now. It's sort of like a parental bond really, well more like Henrietta being a mother.

I don't know what they think about me. I think I'm alright with them anyway. Michael once said to me that I was decent to be around and wasn't a conformist. It was like he was giving me permission to just even be around them. Oh well. I just simply smoked my cigarette that day.

* * *

"Hmm. What should we do now then?" Ruby asks me once school is over.

"I don't know, you can choose if you want." I reply.

We both walk down the cracked pavement and keep on walking. "I don't know. I'm just in one of these moods where I just want to run away from everything." Ruby tells me. I look at her with a slightly confused expression. "I just want to scream really loudly and shout at the world how I'm feeling. Just let it all out. I also want to run and just keep on running. Just keep my head high and run until there is nothing around me anymore. I don't know anymore. Everything is just so confusing."

I look down the path and try to think up a plan. "Okay then, we'll do that." I say.

Ruby looks at me as if I'm insane. "What do you mean we'll do that?"

"Fuck it, let's head out onto the field and just run." I tell her. I take hold of her hand and start walking her down the path. She doesn't try to pull away so I'll take it she is just silently agreeing that she is coming with me.

We both walk to the fields which are pretty much abandoned. They are around a half an hour's walk away from South Park so no one is around. That just makes it better.

"So what do we do now then?" Ruby asks me. She's looking at me with an expectant look on her face.

"I don't know." I admit. "We just run."

"Where do we run to?"

"Well like you said before, let's just run until we can't see anything anymore. We can just run away from everything." I explain to her.

She takes a deep breath and nods. "I'm sorry." She mumbles.

I look at her confused. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because, here is me who is just complaining all the time and being so damn weak. Then there is you. You're strong. You try to protect me but what do I do? Absolutely nothing. I'm probably the reason why you're getting hurt all the time." She says. Her eyes get glassy but no tears fall. "See, here I go again. All I can do is see everything on the negative part. I'm just so confused!"

I lean down and wrap my arms around her. "Don't ever think that about yourself Rubes. You're absolutely perfect in every single way. Nothing is ever your fault so never think that." I whisper to her. Her shoulders and moving up and down but I can't really tell if she's crying or not since her face is buried in my neck. "Rubes, look at me okay?"

She hesitantly lifts her head up so we're eye to eye. "What is it?" She asks whilst wiping away the tears.

"Sometimes life is a bitch and people don't get the best they deserve. Some people end up with really loving parents that love them very much whilst some people end up with parents who cannot provide that. But you have to be strong Rubes, it doesn't matter how tough it gets you just have to be strong. It doesn't matter how tough it gets for you or it doesn't matter how hard you get hit. You just fight the pain away and everything will be okay. As long as you have someone who loves you and it doesn't matter if it's just one person either, you will be okay." I say to her. "You know I'll never let anything bad happen to you Rubes, you're my little sister. It's my job to protect you from everything that scares you. You know that right?"

"But what about you?" Ruby murmurs.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Who is there to protect you? You're the one who needs protecting, not me. If I have you to protect me then who's going to protect you? You have to big brother or sister. So then dad is supposed to be the one who protects you but he doesn't even try! He's the reason why you have to protect me!" Ruby cries. "I don't get it!"

"Nothing has to make sense just as long as everyone is happy and safe in the end." I tell her.

I take a hold of one of her pale hands and start dragging her along the field so that we both start running.

"Just lift your head up and run." I tell her.

"O-okay." She mumbles.

We both let go of each other's hands and start running across the field. It starts off with a slow pace but the more we run the more the pace quickens. I have a throbbing stitch at my side but I don't care. This feels like bliss. It's like I'm just running away from everything. Like I don't even have to face anything scary anymore.

We both run faster and faster which means we have to run for longer but the field seems like it will never end so it doesn't even matter.

After a while we stop and sit down beside a tree which shades a large area. I lean back against it whilst Ruby sits next to me with one of my arms draped around her shoulder.

Her breathing is jiggered but when our vision meets she has a big smile on her face. I smile as well. "That was good." She tells me.

"It was." I agree. "Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah, I feel much better." She says.

We both try and catch our breaths whilst looking up at the sunset in the sky. It's painted yellow going into a dark orange. Then there is the bright burning ball which is the sun. I have to admit it looks beautiful.

I guess there as some times in life that is worth living for.

* * *

The next day at school I feel a lot more refreshed despite sleeping the night at the park once again. I managed to smuggle a quick shower at school before anyone was even here so that's also a good thing.

"You're looking a lot more happier today, something good happen?" Clyde asks me as we take a seat in our English class.

I shrug. "I don't know. I'm just feeling more refreshed today."

"Good for you." Clyde smiles. "It's nice to see you looking better these days. It makes me happy to see you so happy."

I give him a hint of a smile and he grins. "Ruby and I did some running last night. It was nice to let out some of that energy. Perhaps that was just what I needed." I tell him.

Clyde nods as if he understands and peers around the classroom curiously. "I wonder if I'll have a chance with Bebe, I heard that she's free again."

I roll my eyes. "I don't know, how about you go and ask her after class or something?" I suggest.

"Yeah, seems like a plan." Clyde says whilst licking his lips in a very suggestive manner.

Our conversation turns to a very abrupt halt when the teacher walks into the classroom. Our English teacher is pretty enough but sometimes she is so late sometimes. I don't think many people mind that much anyway.

She claps her hands happily and looks around amongst the crowd of people who have decided to come to class today. "Okay! Today we have our special English project!" She announces. There are a lot of groans but she hushes them all quickly. "But I think you'll like this project! It's something new I made especially for this class this year. If it's successful then it'll become a yearly thing."

We all wait for her to explain this project. She heads over to the whiteboard and removes the cloth that had been covering it all this time. There are lots of scrawls and writings on it from a black marker.

"This year I've paired you all together into twos. Don't worry; I've paired you all with people who I think will go best with." She must know some of us don't have very good emotions or live no lives then. "You'll be learning all about each other so you'll have to go over to each other's houses and spend a little more time with each other. The project is that you are going to get a small diary so you can write a lot about each other in it and you can even add pictures in it. You just have to get the main part of the project down however, which is to learn about the person."

The class starts to chat amongst themselves in excitement.

We all go up over to the whiteboard and look for our names. I roll my eyes when I find out who I got but I'm not really surprised. He's been somewhat invading my life lately so I can't say I'm not shocked.

"So, we're together then Craig?" Kenny says when we sit down at a desk. "What do you think about that?"

"I don't know, alright I guess since you're not like most idiots in this class." I murmur.

Kenny laughs cheerfully. "That's not nice; some people can't help it if they're idiots." He says to me. "I think you're too smart for this class. You could do better than this."

"I know." I tell him, leaning backwards. "Let me guess, it's because I'm unmotivated and don't do the sufficient amount of work and my homework is never in on time or I never bother doing it at all."

"Yeah, that's about right." Kenny says.

I simply agree with him.

The diaries are handed out. Kenny gets a red one whilst I get a blue one, which I'm pretty happy with if I must say so myself. I like blue, it's my favourite colour.

"So, it's time to get into the life of Craig. This is certainly going to get interesting." Kenny grins. "You know that hardly anyone knows anything about you?"

"Yeah and that's how I like it." I admit.

"Well that isn't really going to get you anywhere in this project." Kenny points out.

"I know. I just find it hard to speak about myself."

"Wow, you're sure are speaking today. Something wrong with you?" Kenny asks and actually seems worried. "Got a temperature? We can head down to the office if you want."

"No, I'm fine." I answer.

Kenny shrugs and drops the subject. "Okay then. So how do you want to do this?"

"What do you mean by that?" I ask him.

"Well whose house are we going to first and things like that?" He rubs his nose and suppresses a sneeze.

I bite my lip. "Um, how about we go to yours for the first couple days and then go to mine afterwards?" Or how about not at all.

"Okay then, I can do that." Kenny says. "This is going to be a fun subject isn't it?"

"I don't really know. I don't really like just giving information about myself away just like this." I admit.

"Craig? Are you shy?" Kenny asks me suddenly. He looks at me with his bright blue eyes and I feel like I'm frozen to the spot. "You don't talk a lot, so I just thought?"

I look away and out of the window. "I don't think I'm shy, I'm just quiet."

"Hmm, sounds perfectly reasonable." Kenny says. "Okay then, so shall we start then?"


	9. KM Follow me and Breathe

**_This is the last update for a week since I'm going somewhere with no internet. I'll try and write up more chapters though. I'd find it so nice if I come back with some new reviews because not only I find them to help me write more it tells me if people actually like this story or note. Thanks to all who have reviewed so far, Cookies loves you all._**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

After school Craig comes to my house. It's for the project. He says he wants to finish it as soon as possible. "Are we all having a sleepover?" Karen asks.

Ruby is also with us after Craig asked me if she could come with us. I agreed because I knew she would just hang around with Karen most of the time. Also she's Craig's little sister and from what I know Craig and Ruby are really close. Like Karen and I close and that is super close. It's nice to have someone close to you I suppose.

"I don't know, we can ask Ma and Pa." I propose.

We walk into my house and ma and pa greet us rather gloomily. "You okay?" I ask them when I close the front door. "Hey, you both need to smile remember? Smile and the word smiles with you but cry and you cry on your own." I remind them.

Dad sighs impatiently and walks out of the house. He barges past me rather rudely and I look at mum for an explanation. "Don't worry Kenny; we're just having one of those days. He'll be okay soon." She says. She notices Craig and Ruby and smiles whilst standing up. "Hi, it's the Tucker siblings isn't it?"

Craig nods and Ruby holds out her hand. "I'm Ruby and that's Craig." She says kindly. "Nice to meet you."

I see Craig smiling at Ruby's polite behaviour. I never really knew she was like that. From the stories Karen tells me about her it makes Ruby sound like a complete badass. I guess I can't figure out either Tucker sibling. Well that is until tonight I guess. I'll know at least one of them before they leave, or stay the night.

"We can go into my room." I say to Craig. He nods and I lead him into my bedroom. I cringe at it slightly. "Sorry, it's a bit messy. I never really expected someone to be in here tonight." I admit to him.

He doesn't seem to mind. "No problem."

"So, how shall we start this?" I ask. I sit down onto my bed and slip my red diary out. "Who are we going to learn about first then?"

"Let's do a little bit on you first." Craig says. He pulls out his own diary and a ballpoint pen from his pocket. "What do I write?"

I laugh and run a hand through my messy blonde hair. "How about you start of by saying 'Kenny is one sexy motherfucker'." I say.

"No." Craig looks at me oddly. "Definitely no."

"You don't like my body? I'm hurt." I feign being hurt and dramatically look away. "I look just like this for you babe."

"Kenny, be real here." Craig murmurs. "Should I start of by saying you're gay then?"

"No, I'm bi." I deadpan. "God, I thought you would know that."

"Well sorry but I'm not exactly a person who can read people's minds." Craig scribbles something down in his diary and I curiously peek over his shoulder.

"Dude, your handwriting is a mess!" I announce. "And I thought I had messy writing."

He shrugs. "As long as it's readable then I don't really care how it looks." He admits. Just to be sure he rereads what he has written. "You can read it so I don't see it a problem."

"I wasn't saying it was a problem." I tell him. "Let's just carry on with this."

We both sit down crossed legged on my bed and face each other. "So, what do you want to say about yourself?" Craig says whilst anxiously biting the end of his pen.

"Well." I let out a rather big grin. I'm so going to tell him my life story. "My name is Kenny, well it's Kenneth McCormick but you must call me Kenny or I'll murder you. I have pretty blonde hair which girls go crazy over and if not then they'll definitely fall for my eyes. I'm bisexual as I have just told you before so I like boys and girls. My favourite colour is orange. For the first ten years of my life I always wore an orange parka out in public so absolutely no one could see my face or understand me apart from Kyle, Stan and Cartman. They're my first three best friends, well I don't know about Cartman because he's an asshole. I have a brother and sister called Karen and Kevin. I love Karen because she's my heart and soul. I think Kevin is a complete dick because he left us years ago for a slutty whore though I never dared to say that to his face. Also I used to have a pet rat which I called Squeak and I'd used to bring it to school, do you remember that?"

Craig nods as he jots down stuff. "Yeah, he ate a hole in my coat pocket." He frowns at me whilst I grin awkwardly and rub the back of my neck. "It was new as well; my parents nearly killed me for that."

"Yeah, well you're still here so you didn't die at least." I say cheerfully. On the topic of death, should I tell Craig about my immortality? I don't know. He'll probably not believe me anyway. It took a while to convince Stan and Kyle. For some fucking reason Cartman already knew and he'd make the cruellest jokes about me dying and Stan and Kyle were always so confused about it. If Cartman was immortal then I think I would have already killed him around a hundred times.

He does not know what it is live to be torn apart by rabid dogs. How about every bone in your body being smashed apart as a train collides with your body? Maybe he's been drowned in Stark's Pond. I wonder how many of my bodies are in there. I hope no one has found them. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now.

Craig looks at me awkwardly. "Just carry on speaking." He says.

"Okay then. Hmm, well my favourite song is _Boulevard of Broken Dreams _by _Green Day_. I find it rather comforting to listen to. Hmm, my favourite type of food is homemade cake. My ma makes the best type of cake. You need to try some one day. Oh yeah and I also like it here and South Park." Craig stops writing and looks at me as if I'm insane.

"Why would you like it here in South Park?" He asks. "It's absolute shit here."

"How is it? It's small and cosy and you know everyone here. You can never get lost here either because it's so small. Then it's where I live and where I was born and raised. It's always best to keep your home close to your heart." I explain to him. "Sure things get crazy here or its super boring here but it's the one place in the world where I feel most safe in. That's why I like South Park because it's my home. I'd never want to live anywhere else."

"Well that makes sense I suppose." Craig says in an agonizingly slow way. He scrawls something into his diary again and quickly flips through his notes. "I've gotten five pages from you ranting on. Do you think that's enough for now?"

"Yeah, the teacher said we have like a month to do this shit." I muse. "So, am I finally going to get into the world of Craig?"

He sighs. "I suppose so. I don't like this though."

"Why not?" I pry.

"I don't like talking about my personal life. It's my life and people don't have the right to just try and pry into it. I have human rights." He says dully. "But whatever, what do you want to know about me? I'm not going to give you a super long explanation like yourself though."

I put a hand to my chin and think of all the questions Craig is going to willingly answer. "So, how is life for you then?" I finally ask.

"Normal, why?" He asks.

"You need to say more than that. Say what you like and don't like about life and be completely passionate." I say.

"I don't know what to say then." He mumbles.

I sigh. "Your being completely hopeless here, you know that?"

"Yep."

"You're an asshole." I say.

"Right back at you McCormick." Craig mumbles. "Fine, how about you guess one thing about me then and I'll tell you if it's true or not?"

"I don't see why not." I say. I know there must be a mischievous glint in my eye. Well I do like the sound of this game after all. "I think you lie a lot."

"Okay then." Craig looks at me steadily. "That's true."

"But is it a lie though?" I ask him.

"No, I lie a lot. I just don't like giving reasons why I lie a lot. People don't really need to know either." Craig tells me. "Do you have like any cigarettes or something? I've been dying for one for the last few days."

"Dude, that's a long time." I say. I pull out my box from my bedside and hand him one and take one for myself. "How do you survive that long without one?"

"Magic." He mumbles sarcastically whilst lighting the death stick with my purple lighter. He looks more content when he finally has it alight and blows out a little bit of smoke. "I never really understood when I was younger why people liked to smoke so much. At school they always told you how bad it was but then you always saw the teachers behind the school or even in the office smoking all the time. Turns out cigarettes are good stress relievers." Craig tells me.

I nod in agreement. "I don't really care how bad smoking is really because it's something that is a part of life. Well for some people anyway."

"So are you going to add that in your diary then?" Craig asks. He leans back on my bed and makes himself comfortable. "You have a nice bed."

"Well that's pretty random of you to say. Never knew you were like that." I say in a joking manner. Nonetheless I pull out my diary and scrawl that down. "Wait a minute, I asked you if you lie a lot and we're on the topic of smoking. Sly bastard."

He rolls his eyes. "Well you're the one who carried on the conversation so then you forgot about the other topic. Not my problem McCormick."

"Why do you call people by their last names all the time?"

"It's a habit."

"Oh, okay then." I put the diary down and look at him. "We're getting nowhere with this."

"Well the teacher should know that some of us don't want to start telling people their life stories to other people." Craig frowns.

"I don't know, it's sometimes better if you tell at least one person about your life. Makes you feel so much better and shit like that." I tell him.

"Does it really?" He challenges. He looks fed up with me already and it hasn't even been half an hour. Am I that annoying.

"When you see me what do you really see?" I ask him, giving him a serious look afterwards.

"What do you mean by that? All I see is a blonde teenager who looks like he wants to bug me the entire night." Craig tells me.

"Well that's true enough but what I mean is personality wise."

He gives me a dry look and wrinkles his nose. "Kenny, everyone knows you are literally the happiest person in South Park. I have no idea why because it's shit here but you're always happy. It doesn't even matter the situation, you are always happy."

I smirk at him. "Yeah, that's right. I'm the happy one. You Craig are the sad one here at South Park. No doubt you are the biggest downer here, probably even more of a downer than the Goth kids. No one knows why though. You are like the world's biggest mystery."

"Some people are like that." He insists. "Not everyone has a reason to be all happiness and sunshine Kenny."

"But why? There is no reason to be sad unless there is a reason to. I have no idea what life is like for you but can't you at least for once just be happy or something?" I ask him hopefully.

For a few moments I think he's actually going to smile but instead he shakes his head. "I don't see any point in being happy so I don't see why I should put in so much effort with smiling and making small talk to everyone all the time."

"Fuck you're impossible to talk to." I sigh.

"So, I don't care." He relents.

"Hmm, here's a question. Do you like getting close to people?" I question.

He looks at me thoughtfully for a few minutes before shaking his head. "I don't really like to get close to people if it's not called for or just a waste of time to."

"Who are you must closest to then?"

"My sister."

I smile. "That's cute."

"Whatever McCormick." He sighs softly.

I stand up from my bed and place the diary onto my desk. "Well what do you want to do now? It's your choice."

I notice he has his eyes closed and for a moment I ponder if he's asleep but then he opens his eyes again. "Sorry, just a little tired."

"That's okay, rough night?"

"It was pretty decent actually." He admits. "Best night I had in a while actually."

I nod. "Well then, I guess we have to think of something to do."

* * *

We end up sitting in silence for around two hours. Thankfully ma had yelled that dinner was ready and we headed into the kitchen to eat.

"Ma said we could all sleep here for the night." Karen says happily.

I nod at her. Ruby turns to Craig as if he was the one who was giving everyone permission to do so. "I guess we can do that then." He says.

"You need to call your parents about it?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "They're at work."

"Your parents sure do work a lot, what do they do?"

"I don't know. I sort of forgot." Craig admits. He looks sort of distant like he's in a completely different universe to the rest of us.

Ruby waves her hands in front of his face and he blinks at her. "So, anything particular you want to do tonight?" The strawberry blonde girl asks Karen.

"I don't know. Ma said we could have the living room to watch a movie. We have a few DVDs if you want to choose one." Karen suggested.

"I like the sound of that idea; we could all watch a film." I say clapping my hands together.

We all finish of our meal quickly and Ruby and Karen rush off into the living room to choose a movie to watch. Craig and I wash up the plates even though I insisted he didn't need to help. "It'd be rude of me if I didn't help." That's all Craig said before stacking the plates up and sliding them into the sink.

"Are you a good cleaner then?" I watch him scrub a plate carefully with a yellow sponge I had offered him.

He hums so I take that as a maybe.

"I hate cleaning sometimes. It gets so tedious and boring but sometimes someone has to do it right?" I wipe the dishes dry and place them into the different cupboards they need to go in.

He nods in agreement. Soon we have them all done so we both head into the living room together. Ruby and Karen are curled up on the couch with a blue blanket draped over them. Sometimes I forget how young they are and are still young. From the way they act, which is very mature, I sometimes think they are older than me.

"We chose _How to Train Your Dragon_. Is that alright?" Karen asks.

"Sure, it's a good film." I say. Craig and I sit on the couch and Karen starts the film. The lights are off in the living room and the only bright thing is the light illuminating from the television.

We all sit and watch the film silently until the credits come on.

"Okay, time for bed!" I announce. I pull myself up from the couch. "Do you want me to bring the blankets so you can sleep in the living room together?" I ask Karen and Ruby.

They nod and I quickly rush off and come back with some blankets and pillows. I simply throw them on the floor and thus creating a massive mess. Not my problem.

"Kenny, did you have to make such a mess?" Karen pouts, picking up the scattered blankets and sorting them out carefully along with the pillows. "There, that's how you do it."

"Sorry sis." I turn to face Craig. "Come on, I'll set up another bed in my room."

He nods and we get even more blankets and pillows out head back into my bedroom. Craig makes a neat bed on the floor with the blankets and such. He has pretty smooth folding skills. He can also tuck the blankets in well.

I'm not even going to make a tucker joke.

"Hmm, when did you become such a good little cleaner?" I ask him.

"It's just a habit." He admits.

"So, you want to take my bed?" I ask him.

"No, I'll take the floor."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Are you sure?" I ask him. "Usually I'll let my guests take the bed."

"No, I'll take the makeshift, it's alright." He draws the conversation to a close and lies down on the makeshift bed and pulls the covers over himself. "Night."

"Goodnight." I mumble. I quickly rush around and find my plaid pyjama bottoms and a white cotton shirt. Best pyjamas ever if I have to say so myself.

I hop into my bed and close my eyes.

Goodnight world.

* * *

I wake up in the middle of the night. It's strange because I usually don't do that but I do anyway.

First thing I do is lean over my bed to check if Craig's okay but when I check it turns out he isn't even there. I find that unusual. I sit up and peer around my room. It's dark but it doesn't mean I can't see. My bedroom door is open and light is pouring through the slim crack.

I slip out of my bed and stumble over to the door. My walking is very messy since I'm half asleep. Oh well, I'll be fully awake soon enough.

I wipe my eyes and open them up fully. There, now I'm awake and up. No doubt I won't be able to get back to sleep. Great.

Out in the hallway I head into the living room first and check on the girls. I smile softly when I see them both. Karen is curled up under the covers next to Ruby who has one hand above her head and another on her stomach. Cute if I must say so.

It turn back around and notice the light is on in the bathroom. I guess Craig's in there.

However curiosity gets the better of me and I head over to the door. Surprisingly enough the door isn't actually locked.

I push the door open. What I see next shocks me.

Craig is standing in front of the mirror with his shirt off. I'm not going even to make any flirtatious jokes now though. He's standing to his side. At his side there is a large purple bruise which is going blue at the edges. His arms have many different bruises which are in various sizes. He turns and looks at me in shock but then I see more bruises on his stomach and near his chest. There is even one near his neck.

"What. The. Fuck." I mumble. "Dude…"

"Get out." He snaps harshly. It takes him only a second to slip his shirt back on. It hides all the bruises. "I said get out."

I look at him in shock before finally snapping out of my trance. "What happened?"

"I don't want to fucking talk about it." He mumbles. "Just leave me alone."

"There are bruises all over you." I exclaim. "How did it happen?"

"It's none of your business!" He barges past me but I quickly catch one of his wrists.

"Dude, this is serious." I tell him. I tighten my grip when he starts to struggle. "What happened?"

"Just let go of me." He whispers. He suddenly starts to frantically pull away from my grasp. "Let go!"

"Jesus dude, calm down!" I say, letting go of him. Craig looks at me with a desperate look in his eyes. "Do you want to sit down and talk or-"

"Kenny, just stop." He quickly sprints out of the bathroom into the living room. When I get into the living room all I see is the front door slamming. He's gone.

Ruby and Karen jolt awake. They both look at the door but then at me once they finally notice me. "Kenny, what's going on?" Karen asks me. She sounds scared. She tugs the blankets up closer to her chin. "Is everything alright?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. You both just sit in here okay?"

They both look at me confused but do as they are told. I run out of the door and look around.

"Craig? Are you out here?" I call. I walk around uncertainly. I hear a sound of gasping and I narrow my eyes and look around. I spot someone crouched down besides the tree in my front yard.

I quickly rush over and see Craig. He's got his knees pulled up to his chest and is gripping onto them so tightly that his knuckles are turning white. His breathing is jaggered and he is shaking. It's no doubt he's having a panic attack.

I kneel down on one knee in front of him. Thanks to my childhood with someone who was prone to panic attacks, aka Stan, I know what I'm doing.

"Craig, look at me." I tell him softly but sternly. I carefully hold onto chin and hold it up so he's looking at me. I notice tears are streaking from either side of his face and it surprises me. I've never seen him cry before. I cup his face with either sides of his face so we look eye to eye. "You're not breathing properly." I tell him. "Just take deep breaths like this alright." I take a deep breath and let it out slowly and do it again. "Just like that? Copy me okay?"

It takes a few moments be he finally has his breathing smoothed out must to my relief. I'm still cupping his face and we're both looking at each other. His hands are suddenly holding onto my wrists and he simply leaves them there for a few moments but then he pushes my hands away.

"Are you okay now?" I ask him.

He nods but doesn't say anything.

"It's freezing out here, come back inside okay?"

I pull him up and we walk back inside. Karen looks at us both anxiously whilst Ruby just looks downright scared. She jumps up from her seat at the sight of her brother and hugs him tightly. "Where did you go?" She asks him with a heavy voice.

Craig lets out a shaky breath before answering. "Just needed some fresh air Rubes. Everything is okay."

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"Pretty sure."

I let them have a minute before noisily clearing my throat. "I know this isn't the right time but we have to fucking talk." I say.

Ruby narrows her eyes and looks at me in a sort of dark mixed with scared manner. "What do you mean by that McCormick?"

Gee, even she calls people by their last names as well. I look at Craig and he looks away sheepishly. "You know we need to talk. Craig, sit on the couch."

"Kenny, what's going on?" Karen whispers.

"We're going to talk." I tell her. "Ruby I think it'd be better if you sit next to Karen."

"Why?"

"Because it'll be a lot more comfortable for you. Better to be around your friends right?" I tell her.

She must have agreed with me because she sits down besides Karen and pulls a blanket around her. Ruby looks at me and it sort of reminds me of a cat looking at me. It doesn't really concern me that much.

Craig sits on the couch. He's hugging himself nervously and he won't look at me anymore. "First of I want everyone to promise that they are speaking the truth from now on." I say solemnly.

Everyone agrees with a nod and I carry on.

"Okay. Craig, you have to talk as well so don't think you're getting out of this conversation. This is serious. I have no idea how long those bruises have been there and I have not a clue where you have them but you have to talk. I'm scared for you." I tell him gently.

Ruby bites her lip when she hears me talking about bruises. She obviously knows something as well.

"First of tell me how you're feeling."

He looks at me with this look of distaste. "You always ask that."

"But I want to know for real this time. Come on Craig; tell me how you really feel. I promise it'll make you feel so much better. If you talk then everything will be all better." I assure him. "Just tell me how you're feeling. I don't care how much you rant on, you have to say something."

He lets out a shaky breath before looking at me. "Fuck, you really want to know how I'm feeling." He states. It sounds like he's been holding his emotions for way too long. That's unhealthy, you have to let out your emotions sooner or later or you're just going to crack. "I'm scared." He says. He says nothing else.

I sigh. "Why are you scared?"

"I can't."

"You can't what?" I ask him. "Come on, you know you can talk to me."

"I can't tell you." He whispers.

"The whole point of this talk is that you will talk about everything that is wrong. Come on, why are you scared? No one will laugh at you about it." I encourage him. "How about I tell you what I'm scared of?"

"Hmm."

"Well I'm absolutely terrified of spiders." I reveal. "The other day Stan and Kyle slept over and I opened a game box. A whole swarm of spiders crawled out and I started letting out the most girlish screams and jumped on my bed and tried to hide behind Stan and Kyle."

Karen laughs at that. "I remember that." She looks at Craig thoughtfully. "You know, I'm actually scared of never seeing my big brother again. If Kenny ever leaves me then I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my guardian angel and he'd do anything to protect me. When ma and pa used to get drunk all the time or had too many drugs they'd start to hurt me and Kenny but Kenny would always protect me because he's my big brother."

I think everyone is surprised when Craig suddenly bursts out crying when Karen finishes explaining. I wrap an arm around him sympathetically. "Hey, it's okay. There is no need to cry."

"I know." He mumbles.

"Then why are you crying?" I ask.

"It just felt like something I needed to do." He admits.

"Hmm, okay then." I let it go and look at Ruby. "What are you super scared of Ruby?"

"Well I'm scared of death." She says slowly. It surprises me and I look at her curiously. "I'm scared of death because once someone dies they can't come back right? I'm scared someone close to me is going to die and I'll never get to see them again."

"Don't worry; I don't think anyone is going to be dying any time soon." I assure Ruby. "So, are you going to tell us what's wrong now Craig?"

"Fine… I'm scared of pain."

"That's a reasonable fear." I assure him.

"I mean I hate it when you get hit and there is just this throbbing pain that won't go away. But that's not the only pain I hate. I hate emotional pain. I hate it when you have that feeling like your heart is tearing into two because you are so sad but you can't do shit about it." He bites his lips. "But what I'm scared of the most is the same fear as Ruby's. I'm scared of death. I don't want to die. I think about it all the time but the thought of death scares me. But then I'm not bothered about it anymore. It should scare people right? I'm terrified of death but at the same time I'm so normal about it. If I see a death happen right in front of my eyes I don't think I'd be that bothered but at the same time I'll be terrified because that could have been me who suddenly died."

"That's confusing."

"I know."

I hold onto his hand and look at him. "Can you tell me where you got those bruises?" I ask him. "Please? It'll help."

"I can't Kenny. I just can't." He says.

"Okay then but promise me that you'll stop the bruises okay? Promise me that you'll try and prevent them okay?"

"I don't know if I can." Craig says. "I'll try though."

"Good. Now everyone get back to bed. It's been a long night and we have school." I stand up and head back into my bedroom. I know Craig is following. "You can tell me anything you know. You can tell me anything and I won't laugh or tell anyone. It doesn't matter how dark or embarrassing it is. You can trust me."

"I just wish I could." Craig whispers. "I just wish I could."


	10. SM Double the Trouble

**_Yayayay I'm back :3 Sorry for the longish wait, no internet you see. But on the bright side I have five new chapters coming out in the next five days and this story is definitely going to be over 50k words :3_**

**_I also have the ending all sorted out so this story is definitely not going to be abadoned like I usually do with most stories. _**

**_Thank you all who reviewed, I love you all. Don't be afraid to drop in one once you've read this, each review I get really makes me happy._**

**_So, with all that said, let's get on with the show! Oh yeah, I don't own South Park by the way. I also forgot for the last chapter to add I don't own the songs I mentioned or movies. Yeah, with that, here we go!_**

* * *

"She's really cute you know." Kyle says. He strokes Cindy, who is lying on my bed looking quite content. I'm not even sure if any of my parents know if I have her yet.

When I picked her up the other day and brought her back home neither of them were actually home so that's sort of the reason why they don't know about her. To be honest I don't think they'll mind anyway, as long as they don't have to look after her. "I know. She's also really well behaved. Much more obedient than Sparky." I chuckle slightly but sigh sadly thinking about my old dog.

Kyle smiles at me sympathetically and places a hand on my knee to comfort me. I smile at him gratefully. "Kenny said you have this English assessment where you have to learn about another person? Who did you get?" Kyle asks me curiously.

"I got Heidi Turner." I tell him. "Jealous much?"

Kyle laughs and shoves me. "Dude, I'm not really bothered who you got. As long as you both don't start suddenly making out in front of me then I'm cool. You know that."

"Hah, yeah. So, what do you want to do tomorrow? It's the weekend isn't it?" I ask Kyle.

"Yeah. I heard that Annie is having a party and she says it's pretty much open to everyone so we could go and try that out if you want." Kyle suggests. "I do have to warn you though, Cartman is going to be there and no doubt he's going to stir up some trouble."

I sigh. "No doubt he'll cause trouble. He's Cartman after all." Where there is Cartman there is trouble. "I guess we can go and try it out anyway. Better than us two just sitting inside all night doing nothing."

"Yeah, though isn't that what we mostly do every day?" He points out.

"That's because neither of us have no life." I finalize. We both end up laughing for some reason. It's like I just said the funniest thing in the entire world. But hey, it actually feels nice to I guess I can't say I don't mind. Once we both finally stop I speak up again. "Hey, Cindy needs a walk. Want to grab her leash?"

"Sure." Kyle slips out of my bed and looks for the leash for Cindy whilst I gently tap her on the head to wake her up.

"Times the walks." I tell her. The moment she hears the word 'walks' she uses the bed as a launch pad, leaps off the bed, bolts out of my bedroom door and I can hear her bound down the stairs. I roll my eyes and follow after her.

Once I get downstairs I see Kyle trying to actually put the leash on her and I laugh. He has not a clue how to do it. And I thought he was a genius.

"How do you do this? It's literally next to impossible!" Kyle nearly shouts in distraught.

I take the leash of him, slide it around Cindy and click it in place in a matter of seconds. Kyle looks at me if I've just done a rubix cube in a blink of an eye. "Yes Kyle, that was very hard to do." I state sarcastically.

"Well you've had practise." He mutters moodily. He suddenly has a huge mood swing in a flash and grins at me. "Come on then, let's go and take Cindy for a walk!"

"Jesus Christ, optimistic much?" I open the front door and have to keep a tight grip on the leash so Cindy won't run off. Kyle and I step out in an almost mirrored way and I close the door behind me. "You want to call on anyone to join us on the walk?"

"Nah, let's just spend the time together." He tells me. "It's been absolutely ages since it's just been us two and we're both actually happy and well."

"Who says I'm happy?" I joke. Wow, first joke I've pulled in a while.

Kyle rolls his eyes and knocks my shoulder. "Seriously dude, you look better." He lowers his voice and makes it sound much more serious. "Have you stopped drinking?"

I sigh at him. The last time I've drunk alcohol was probably during the start of this week. I've either just head home or fell asleep in a matter of moments or I just kind of forgot about it. I guess it's from the fact that my parents haven't been down each other's throat this week. Then again I'm sort of pondering over the fact where my dad is, I haven't really seen him since Sunday last week maybe. Well it's none of my business I guess. Whatever and wherever he is and doing is none of my concern. Well perhaps it's some of my mum's concern. I know she's either worried about him or angry he's left for so long.

"It doesn't matter that much." I mumble.

"It does matter Stan. I care how my friend is doing." Kyle objects. He places a hand on my shoulder. "Dude, you know I love you man. If anything bad ever happens to you then you know I would have no idea what to do without you. We both know that you have a bad drinking habit and I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. Just promise me that you'll be careful when you drink okay?"

"Dude, you worry too much about me sometimes." I say. When Kyle makes these passionate speeches on how he values our friendship then it makes me feel guilty. I already know that if I keep on drinking way too much alcohol I'll end up dead in the next couple of years. It's something I can't help but when I look at Kyle I can't help but just hate myself. I'm a terrible friend to him. I don't know why he puts up with me.

"Hey, it's what super best friends do. Of course I have the right to worry about you." Kyle says to me.

We cross over the road and walk past the park. I peer inside curiously and recognise a few people. "Hey, isn't that Ike over there?" I ask Kyle.

He peers into the park too, seemingly looking highly curious now I've mentioned his adopted Canadian brother. Ike and Kyle are super close. I mean one time Ike came home and said some older kids in our year started to pick on him because he was so smart. The next day Kyle literally hounded them down and beat the living daylights out of them. Also when some children in Ike's year started to make fun of Kyle's red hair, saying it was unnatural, Ike beat them up as well. They are both very smart people the Broflovski children but they are also highly violent and can certainly pack a punch.

"He's sitting with one of the Goth kids." Kyle says. "Wonder what they're doing?"

We both watch Ike and Goth kid Firkle for a few minutes in secret. I feel like a spy. We're both hiding in the bushes and watching the two brunettes. Then something happens and it surprises us both. Ike and Firkle lean in together and peck each other's lips. Oh, so they're dating. Cute.

Kyle has an unreadable expression and for a few seconds I thought he was going to jump out and start screeching at his brother, which is something Kyle would do if he thought Ike was doing something wrong. It's funny on some occasions.

"Come on, let's leave them in peace." Kyle whispers to me.

We both silently walk out of the bushes and Cindy does so do. She's a very good dog.

"Well that was certainly unexpected. My brother just totally kissed a Goth kid." Kyle murmurs. "How should I even feel about that? Proud that my brother has found love or jealous he got his first kiss before me?"

I laugh. "Dude, you haven't kissed anyone yet?"

"No, the closest thing I've gotten to a kiss is when Bebe was like an inch away from kissing me when we were thirteen but then she drew back and ran off laughing. Turns out her and her friends were playing truth and dare." He sighs. "I can't say I wasn't disappointed."

"Don't worry, you'll find someone soon." I comfort.

"Yeah, someone soon." He mumbles. He looks at me uncomfortably. "Stan? Can I tell you something?"

I raise an eyebrow at him and look at him interestedly. "Sure dude, you can tell me anything. You know that."

"Well to be honest I haven't told anyone this. Not even Kenny and he's probably the best person to ask about this." He lets out a shaky laugh. "I've just been thinking for a while that I think I'm sorta… Uh…"

"Come on, spit it out Ky." I look at him expectantly. I hate it when it takes him a million years to say something. He knows how to build up a drastic wait.

"I think I'm gay." Kyle finally says. He looks at me and gives me an awkward smile.

"Dude, you know I don't care if you're gay or not." I say offhandedly. "So, who's the lucky guy who you're crushing on then?"

"You don't care if I'm gay?" Kyle asks me surprised.

"I'm not a homophobic. Cartman is but you know I'm not." I tell him.

"That's good." He looks relieved. "I thought you were going to hate me because I bat for the same team."

"Why would I hate you? You know when we were younger we both didn't give two shits if boys dated boys and if girls dated girls. I mean as long as you're happy then I guess that's all that counts right?" I offer the leash to him. "Want to walk Cindy?"

"Sure." He takes the leash and walks Cindy.

We walk around for another hour or so before heading back to my house. However when we reach the front door we can both hear arguing from the inside.

"Jesus, what are your parents arguing about?" Kyle asks me surprised. "They sound pretty pissed off at each other."

"Well that's nothing new." I sigh. "Do you want to head back out?"

"Dude, we can do whatever." Kyle tells me. "Come on then."

We turn back around and walk down the path but then the front door opens. "Stan? Stan! Come inside, we need to discuss something!" I hear my dad holler from the door. He doesn't really sound happy and I'm just praying he isn't annoyed with me.

"Carry on looking after Cindy for a bit." I whisper to Kyle.

"Dude, everything okay?" He asks me with his voice laced with worry.

"Fine, I'll call when I want her back in okay?"

"Sure, just stay safe okay?" Kyle heads down the path with Cindy and I walk back to the door where dad is waiting.

His hair is messy and wild and his clothes look more crumpled than I last remembered looking at them. "Your mother and I have a lot to discuss and it's better if you're inside for this." Dad tells me.

I feel confused but I head back inside nonetheless with dad. Mum is sitting on the couch and she looks stressed to pieces. She gives me a wary smile when she notices me but then frowns at dad. "Hello Stanley, come take a seat next to me." She says.

"Sharon, let the boy choose where he wants to sit." Dad buts in.

I roll my eyes and sit next to mum nonetheless. I think it makes her happy but dad now looks far from amused.

"Now we've been speaking son." Dad starts. "Your mum and I don't really think our marriage is working out. We've just been so unhappy for a while and I think it's time we just split up."

"The difficult part is that we're going to be obviously selling the house and moving out." Mum explains to me.

"I thought that wasn't going to happen?" I ask her. "The other day you said that..."

"I know what I said the other day." Mum sighs. "Look, the hard part about this is that your dad is moving into a flat here in South Park whilst I'm going to move to California."

I blink at my mum. "Why are you going there?"

"My friend offered me this flat for an amazing price. It has two bedrooms and is really spacious." Mum tells me. "The problem is that is where you're going to live."

"Oh…"

"Look son, you can either stay here in South Park with me or you can move to California with your mother." Dad tells me. "The choice is up to you."

Of course they make me choose something like this. I sigh heavily. "I don't know. Is there some way we can live in this house together?"

"That's not going to happen Stanley; I don't think your father and I could handle it. No, you'll just have to choose." Mum tells me.

Damn it. Well I'm sorry mum but there is absolutely no way I'm leaving South Park. I like it here and I don't really like it in California. Especially since I've heard on the news it's invaded with homeless people. "I'm staying in South Park." I say quietly.

Mum looks at me disappointedly but dad smiles. "That's okay." He says. "We have around two weeks to move out of this house. I've bought this apartment downtown. I'll show you it tomorrow if you want." He says to me. He is showing no respect to mum at all.

"Whatever. I'm tired, I'm going to bed." I announce whilst standing up and heading over to the stairs.

Neither of them says anything to me but they start bickering amongst themselves. Of course they do. For the hundredth time today I sigh and head into my room and close the door rather noisily behind me.

I whip out my phone and ask Kyle to drop Cindy off in around an hour. Then I sink down besides the door and place my head on my knees. This feeling of complete hopelessness washes over me and it makes me feel terrible.

I end up downing a whole bottle of whiskey in a few minutes.

Thankfully Kyle never questioned it when he dropped Cindy off but he did look at me with a sad face once he left.

He obviously knew I hit the bottle.

* * *

Things get much livelier the next day at Annie's party. Her parents are out for the week on this business trip so obviously she took advantage of this and decided to throw a killer party.

Kyle and I walk in together at around 8pm. It's already crowded and it's only the porch. Oh well, maybe it's a little less cramped inside. However I don't think that's going to be true.

We head inside after pushing through the crowd and find that it's actually less cramped but there is much more activity happening. I think I've already seen around five different people making out against the wall. I also spot Clyde and Bebe making out rather viciously on the couch. Kyle has a look on his face that he wants to yell at them to get a room. I agree with him if he is thinking that.

"Hey, glad you could both make it!" We hear Annie yell. She glides gracefully through the crowd with two drinks in her hands. "Here, have these. I forgot who I was supposed to give them to and you both need to have something before it all runs out!" She announces.

Turns out what's in the cups are red wine. Rather strong red wine may I add. We thank Annie and Kyle and I slowly sip on the wine whilst heading into the kitchen where it's much emptier.

At the kitchen table there is a game of poker going on. I spot Kenny and Cartman playing and I give them both a wave. Cartman merely scowls at me and I can already guess that he is losing but Kenny gives me this huge Kenny like grin. "Guys, get your asses over here and watch me beat everyone." He yells.

Kyle rolls his eyes but we both head over anyway. "Hey Kenny, how long have you been here?" Kyle asks.

"Around an hour or so." Kenny says. He grabs this drink and takes a rather large swig from it. "It's lemon and lime with two shots of vodka in. My speciality." Kenny announces.

"I'll have to try one later then." I suggest to him and he nods. I guess he's a little more hyped up and slightly drunk than usual because if he was sober he'd probably refuse to give me alcohol. Oh well.

He slams all his cards onto the table and turns out he has the winning set. Everyone apart from Cartman congratulates him. "You totally cheated poor boy." Cartman calls.

Kenny shrugs and collects the cards in. "I'm just simply better at this game than you." He says.

"Ay, you're a better cheater than me." Cartman snaps then cusses because he just admitted he just cheated. The idiot.

"You want to join in on this round?" Kenny asks me as he's dealing the cards out.

"No, we're alright aren't we?" Kyle says to both me and Kenny.

I nod. "Yeah, we'll give it a miss."

"Catch you later okay?" Kyle tells him and Kenny nods whilst me and Kyle head out into the garden. At least it's much more decent out here. "So, you okay?" Kyle asks me.

"Sure, why do you ask?"

He scrunches his nose up at the wine and pours the rest of it onto the grass. "Well I thought you were drinking again." He mumbles.

"Yeah, I was." I admit. Well maybe this conversation will be a hell of a lot smoother if I tell him the truth than rather lie to him.

He sighs heavily. "Stan…" He sounds disappointed. "Why did you start drinking again? I thought you were doing so well."

"I wasn't really planning on stopping drinking. I've just been forgetting or couldn't be bothered to lately because of Cindy and stuff." My excuse sounds lame. It's the truth though; I have never really planned on stopping drinking. I just naturally drink, it's just a habit. People just don't get it but it's so hard to explain.

"You know what then." Kyle says. He drags me inside to the kitchen and to where all the alcohol is. He pulls out a can of beer and opens it. "Tonight I'm going to let myself get wasted for once and you'll find out how it feels to worry about your friend."

"Kyle, you don't have to do that…" I mumble.

"Dude, I'm worried about you and you just don't seem to know how much it hurts me knowing you drink all the time. What if you fall down the stairs or walk into a lamppost or something while you're drunk and die? Do you want that to happen?" He snaps. The can is opened and he starts to chug it down.

"Stop, you don't need to do this." I tell him desperately.

"No, I want to do this." He announces before walking away with the can of beer. I see him get swallowed up into the crowd of people and I sigh heavily. Fuck, he does know how to make someone worry about him.

"Why am I such an asshole?" I ask myself whilst sitting on one of the stools which Annie has in her kitchen. I lower my head on the counter and start to worry about Kyle. I know he won't stop if I tell him to. He's so stubborn.

I end up grabbing a can of beer myself and slowly sipping on it so it actually ends up taking me an entire hour just to drink it all. My hands are shaking and I can't think straight anymore. God damn you Kyle. He really knows how to make you guilty.

I pull myself up and head into the living room where the party is now is in full swing. People are dancing around or simply literally eating each other because they are kissing so deeply. The music is so loud it gives the sober people a rather pounding headache.

Instead of heading back into the kitchen I make my way through the crowd of people and try and spot Kyle. I soon see him dancing alongside Kenny and Wendy. Even Wendy has decided to let her hair down and dance around. She's even let herself drink. I've never really seen a drunken Wendy before. Turns out drunk Wendy is much livelier than sober Wendy.

"Hey Stan, come join us!" She chirps. She grabs my wrists and pulls me into their small group of three and start to dance more.

"No, I've just came to get Kyle." I tell her.

"Come on dude, lighten up and dance with us!" Kyle simply says to me when he hears what I said to Wendy. "Grab a drink and be happy!"

Fucking hell, is he trying to kill me? I roll my eyes and grab his arm and try to lead him outside. It's rather difficult when he is insisting when we stay in there with Kenny and Wendy. "Kyle, I'm taking you back home okay? No objections." I tell him sternly.

We get outside and Kyle looks at me with a frown. "You didn't go and get a drink when I told you to get one." He mumbles. Well perhaps he still does have so common sense after all.

"You're drunk; I can't just get drunk myself. That'll get us nowhere." I sigh. I wish I had my whisky flask with me right now.

Kyle looks at me with this unreadable expression. "I'm proud of you." He tells me. His words are slurred but I can't help but just feel proud as well. "Here, let me give you something to thank you."

His arms suddenly snake around my waist and I know I'm starting to blush madly. "Kyle?"

"Shush, let me give you my gift." He murmurs, his lips coming closer to my ear.

I feel paralysed as he leans in closer and he carefully seals our lips together. I never realized or thought that his lips were so soft. My arms unconsciously wrap around his neck and our kiss gets much more desperate. He pushes me against the wall of the house and licks my lips, asking for permission if he can enter. I end up parting my lips slightly anyway and he take advantage.

We don't separate for a good few minutes until we both finally realize we need air and we pull apart. "Fuck, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Kyle mumbles in my ear. He still has his arms wrapped around me and his chin is resting on my shoulder. "I love you dude."

My eyes open is realization. All those times he said that he loved me.

He literally meant it.

Like he really loves me.


	11. CT Welcome to my Wonderland

**_H aha, I said that I'd wait another day, namely tomorrow, to post another chapter but I'm too cruel for that :3 I give you another one, so I can be evil muwhahaha. Wait, it's not evil?_**

**_Oh well, thanks for all who has reviewed. Too those who haven't please review if you have enjoyed. If you want of course._**

**_I don't own South park_**

* * *

"How's everyone doing with their English project?" Our English teacher asks us once we've all taken our seats and she's done registration.

Lots of people make positive sounds so I'm presuming everyone is doing just fine on their quest to learn about another person. Yes, it's a quest because that's the exact words my English teacher described this. Then again she probably knew that a few people, mainly me, will probably be next to impossible to learn about.

But then again I think Kenny is doing a pretty good job learning about me. He just so had to walk in when I decide to take a five second look at my bruises. To be honest I didn't really think there was actually any on my body but I was proven wrong when I took my shirt off and there was loads of harsh looking bruises scattered all over. The one on my side hurts like a bitch if I have to be honest.

"Well everyone can sit with their partners today and get to learn some more about each other. I have to go out and run a few jobs; you will all behave won't you?" She sounds extremely optimistic but at the same time you can hear the worry in her voice.

"We'll be fine!" I hear Clyde declare and everyone else quickly agrees with her.

"Okay then, I'll be back at the end of the lesson." With that our English teacher leaves the classroom. Everyone waits a few minutes before moving the desks and chairs around to the side.

People make themselves cosy and start talking amongst themselves. I sit in the corner on my own, mostly because I want to be alone. Unfortunately for me I can't be alone because only a few minutes later Kenny comes over and takes a seat beside me.

"How you doing?" He asks me.

"Fine. Are you here to do the project?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "If you want to."

"No, we can always do it later." I tell him.

Kenny nods and takes a hold my hand. "Is there anything you want to tell me today?" He asks me. "I'm here to listen you know."

I quickly withdraw my hand and look at him with half lidded eyes. "There isn't anything I need to tell you." I tell him.

"Craig…" He sounds almost desperate. "Please talk to me."

"I can't." I sigh. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Kenny looks at me with these big huge eyes. "But please just tell me this."

"Okay…"

"If you or Ruby are ever in trouble you have to promise me you'll go and get help. Even if it is from me or from your parents you have to go and get help. I don't know how you got those bruises and I don't even know if Ruby has any either but tell me you will go and get help if you ever need it." Kenny tells me. "Can you just promise me that?"

"Yeah, I think so." I lean back in my chair so it's balancing on two legs. "I think I can promise that."

Kenny looks more relieved and he gives me a smile. "So, did you go to that party on Saturday?"

"Obviously not." I say. "I had to look after Ruby."

"Oh yeah." He gives me a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that."

I wave my hand in dismissal. I'm not really that bothered.

Everything goes alright for the next half hour but then things change when I'm called down to the office. It's Principle Victoria's voice who is calling me down and I think many people are surprised by that since she still teaches down at the school for the younger children.

I walk out of the classroom uncertainly and head down into the office where Principle Victoria is standing behind the desk whilst Mr Mackey is sitting down at it. However there is one more person in the office. Ruby is sitting at a chair and when I walk in she turns to look at me.

I'm surprised when I see that she has been crying and I quickly rush to her side. "You okay Rubes?" I ask her as I kneel down beside her. I take a hold of one of her hands.

"Craig, do you want to take a seat mkay?" Mr Mackey asks, or should I say he basically tells me to.

I look at him uncertainly but I slip onto the seat besides Ruby nonetheless. I wonder why I've been called down to the office. I don't really recall doing anything bad or something lately. To be honest the last time I've been down to the office was years ago when I used to have a habit to flip people off. My childhood was so much better than life now.

"Now I want you both to be completely honest now mkay." Mr Mackey tells us both. "We had a call sent in this morning by someone who wants to remain ominous mkay. Now they said that something bad has happened to both of you. Is that true?"

I pretend to be ignorant and look at him with a blank stare. "What do you mean?"

Mr Mackey looks at us both uncomfortably. "The caller said they were worried about you both. They said that one of you is seriously hurt?"

Ruby looks at me with a desperate look. I know she wants me to tell the truth but I can't. I instead freeze up. I don't know what to do. "You both can tell us anything. Whatever is said will stay in this room and no one else will know about what either of you have said." Principle Victoria assures us both. "But we also have called your parents as well to come because we want them to know about this. This is a serious subject and if you are both getting hurt either physically or verbally it is important that someone knows."

"Nothing is wrong." I quickly tell them. "I think you've got the wrong people because Ruby and I are fine. Right Rubes?"

"Mkay, Ruby you have been awfully quiet and if you don't mind me saying but you did start to cry when I mentioned this to you before your brother came in. Is there anything you want to tell us?" Mr Mackey asks her. "You know all this information is confidential."

Ruby looks down at her clasped hands. Her head is bowed and strands of her strawberry blonde hair is hiding her face. I know, I just know that she wants to say something but it's me what is holding her back. Oh fuck it.

"Mr Mackey, there is something I want to say." I speak up. I turn to Ruby and give her a sigh. "You can tell them whatever you want. Whatever you want to tell them you can say. I can't stay in the room though." I know if I stay in the room I'll end up doing something stupid like crying or have a nervous breakdown or something.

"Are you sure?" Ruby asks me.

I merely nod at her before standing up and leaving the room. No one tries to stop me at least.

I walk out of the council office and sigh. I stand against the wall and lean my head back so I'm looking up at the ceiling. The light is practically blinding me but I don't really care anymore.

A pair of hands suddenly grab my shoulders and then I'm looking up at him. At my dad. "Why the hell have the school called up?" He asks me with a stern tone. He shakes my shoulders, trying to scare me into tell him just like that.

Mum is standing behind him and she's looking quite anxious. I don't even know what to say about my mum. She doesn't hit or anything but on a few occasions she's shouted abuse. But she is always there when dad starts hitting and she always gets wasted with him. Shouldn't a mum stop her own husband from hitting his own children? I don't know. I guess she hates me just as much as he does.

"I'm not sure; I think they want to talk to you." I tell him. I put on my bravest face even though I think I'm dying inside.

He gives me this glare before letting go of my arms at least. "Where have you been for the last week? You haven't come home boy. Don't you think that's a little unfair on your little sister, what has she done to you?"

He seriously doesn't get it. Ruby is absolutely terrified of him. She sometimes even gets nightmares about him hurting me and even sometimes hurting her. She says that she wakes up and can just feel pain running up and down her arms and always thinks there are bruises there. Sometimes she talks in her sleep and it's always something along the lines of 'stop'.

Sometimes she often tells me about how we can both escape this. She's gone as far as going to get dad's gun from his cabinet and stealing all of our parent's money and we both do a runner from South Park. Sometimes I like the sound of that idea and often ponder on it. It sounds good in my dreams but I know in reality that it's impossible.

Before we even get the gun from dad's cabinet he would have probably shot us both before we even get the chance to run. It really disheartens me when I think about that.

"Well, what has she done to you?" He asks me again, grabbing a hold my shoulder with a grip of iron. I wince slightly, there was already a bruise there and it really doesn't help when someone is pushing down on it and grabbing it. Dad notices and he actually sneers. "How are you a son of mine when you can't even handle a little pain? You're a disgrace."

He finally let's go and heads into the office. Mum stays behind and she just stares at me. I look back at her and she briskly walks into the office. I really don't know what her problem is. I thought she was supposed to me my mother but what sort of parent is she? Not a very good one I suppose.

I end up sitting on one of the chairs outside of the office and I'm there for a good hour or so before everyone leaves the office. My mum has a very red face from intense blushing but my dad's is noticeably red from anger. Ruby looks like she has been crying some more and Mr Mackey and Principle Victoria both look very uncomfortable.

"We're going home." Dad tells me. "Apparently some of us think it's alright to lie."

"Sir, if you please…" Principle Victoria says gently. "We can all go back into the office and…"

"We are fine thank you." Dad snaps. He takes a hold of Ruby's hand rather harshly and starts to walk down the hallway with him slamming his feet loudly onto the floor. "Hurry up Craig; we have a lot to discuss at home."

Well this is going to be a lot of fun.

Mr Mackey and Principle Victoria look at me worriedly but they silently head back into the office once they've finally realized there is no stopping my dad. I think pretty much everyone is now scared of him. He can do that my dad, just one little session with him and at the end of it you are terrified of him.

My mum tells me come along quickly and we both end up walking to the car. I traipse inside of it and sit down next to Ruby. Her eyes are glassy and she's gulping and sniffing a lot. Dad yells at her to shut up. I narrow my eyes at him, ready to tell him to mind his own business. I don't however because I know that's just going to make this all worse.

I scoop up her hand and hold onto it and our fingers entwine. We silently know that this is going to end up really bad. When I mean bad I really do mean it.

Ruby and I walk into the house dazed with Dad marching right behind us. It's almost as if he is a soldier or something. Mum is quickly following behind him but she almost looks distressed.

The front door is opened and once everyone is inside it's slammed.

"What the hell have you been telling the school?" Dad demands. "Apparently someone told those two noisy gits that we've been hitting you? Are you trying to get your own parents arrested?"

I look at Ruby. So she told them. Well it was her choice I suppose. She looks at me guiltily.

I expected dad to lunge at me or something since that's what he's always good at but instead he surprises me and he grabs Ruby by the hair. I watch in silent horror as his thick fingers scoop up her fine hair and tug upwards so that it looks like it hurts. Ruby whimpers and that snaps me out of my trance of watching.

"Don't do that to her, you're hurting her!" I shout at him. "Let go of Ruby."

"Then tell me boy. Which one of you told them that we were beating you up?" He yells at me. "Which one of you are trying to purposely ruin our life's?!"

I stare at him right in the eyes. Ruby opens her mouth to answer but it's obvious what I do next. "It was me; I was the one who told them." I lie.

"I fucking knew it." Dad lets go of Ruby and stands right in front of me.

One of his fists curls up and he's ready to punch. "Dad, stop it! It wasn't Craig, it was me!" Ruby yells frantically. She actually goes as far as grabbing onto his curled up fist but she's elbowed back harshly.

"Stop trying to cover up for your poor excuse of a brother, I know it was him. Do you want to be punished too?" He threatens her.

"Come on Ruby, we'll have a talk in the living room." Mum says. She ushers Ruby into the living room whilst I watch them both in confusion. Is mum actually trying to help? What if she is going to start hurting Ruby? No, she can't. Can't she?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when dad grabs one of my arms. "You never learn do you?"

"What am I supposed to be learning?" I ask him. I seriously don't get it. He says he's going to teach me a lesson and that I never learn. What is beating up your son until he's next to death supposed to do with learning? Is there some sort of secret lesson I'm not getting from these beatings? I don't know anymore. I really don't.

He doesn't say anything. He leads be down the stairs into the basements where it's pitch black. I can't see anything. It makes me panic more because I have no idea what he's going to do now. There aren't many things down in the basement, just a few boxes full of various items and a concrete floor with harsh brick walls. The light down here is either long gone broken or that it needs a new light bulb which no one has bothered to buy yet.

The door leading down is slammed shut and I know this is going to end badly. My arm is practically pulled out of its socket when I'm pulled downstairs but there is no way I'm going to attempt to pull away.

He tells me stand still and I'm not sure if I should anymore. I could always make a bolt to the door. No, I can't, I couldn't dare to do that.

I hear him rummage around and when it falls silent I just know he has found what's he's looking for. "Now listen up." I can hear dad's gruff voice from behind me. I spin around but I still can't see him. "Fucking stop screwing up. You should be grateful that your mother and I let you stay here, you're just a waste of space. I have no idea how you managed to brainwash your sister to like you but we'll soon get it into her pretty little head of hers that you are trouble."

He swings his arm and I'm not sure why until I feel something hard hit me in the side. This is certainly new. But sometimes new isn't all that good. I soon realize he's hitting me with a golf club. Of course he would. He just loves to try and find the worst sort of thing to hit his own son with.

It's swung again and again and again, it's even swung when I'm on the floor. I find that I'm hit everywhere but my head, it's like he's trying to keep me conscious as possible so I won't fall into a deep bliss unconsciousness.

I hear his deep breathing as he swings the golf club one more time and this time it does hit my head and it's swung hard enough so I can finally lose all senses. I can't feel the blood sticking to my body and the pain is slowly reducing to a numbing throb. I can't hear him shout at me to get up and I can't hear him swing the club anymore.

He must have realized that I'm not getting up because he stops swinging. My eyes are slowly closing but then I feel a slight pressure on my neck. At first I thought he was actually planning on killing me by snapping his neck but then I realize he's just trying to find a pulse.

I don't know if he found one or not because I soon fall unconscious and thank god I did.

* * *

When I do finally open my eyes I know something is up. I'm still lying on the floor but I know there are many more people in the basement. A light from a torch is shone onto my face and my eyes narrow as I look up.

"Son, you have to stay awake." Someone tells me. "Do you know what happened?"

I open my mouth but then I feel a dribble of blood leave it. Fucking hell, can't I go for a day without blood?

"Blair, we need to work fast. He's losing too much blood." The person says. Who the hell is Blair? "We're paramedics. We were told by your father that you fell down the basement stairs. It seems you had a nasty fall."

"The stretcher is ready." I hear a feminine voice say. I'm just going to call her Blair.

"Okay, this is going to hurt a little bit. Just bear with us okay?" The paramedic tells me.

I'm lifted up onto a stretcher and I must admit it hurts like a bitch but once I'm on its so much better and may I add comfier. I realize that I must be staining the stretcher red from the blood but I can't really help it.

I start drifting in and out of consciousness when the stretcher heads upstairs and outside but the male paramedic keeps flashing a torch at me and telling me it's important that I stay awake. I think they are worrying that if I fall unconscious that I die or something. Well I'm not sure; I'm not a paramedic myself. All I know is how to patch up a bad cut if there ever is one.

Outside I see flashing lights from the ambulance which is waiting. I also see many nosey neighbours and people passing by watching. Whatever, like I care. Apparently I fell down some stairs and it's what everyone believes so why should I be worried?

Amongst the people in the crowd I see someone with a pair of bright blue eyes and wearing a bright orange parka. Kenny. He looks almost terrified when he sees me but once he notices I'm not dead or something I think he feels better.

The ambulance ride is a rather quick one since it's pretty small in South Park and then we reach the hospital.

They do lots of different tests and things and pretty soon I'm in my own hospital room and lying on a white hospital bed. I think the doctors found it rather strange that I had many open wounds and cuts just from falling down the stairs but they didn't question it. They did however ask me how I got so many bruises, which looked old may I add, on my stomach. I shrugged in reply.

I'm surprised I'm not all drugged up and feeling all tipsy but hey, let's ignore dad's words because I'm actually strong. If I wasn't I would be dead. Wow, that sounds pretty good. Not.

So, I wonder who called the hospital then. Was it dad because he did check my pulse? Perhaps it was mum because she heard dad's shouting, or maybe it wasn't her. Ruby could have got worried so I guess it was her. I'm not sure.

Also I wonder who it was who called up at school about Ruby and I. I'm stumped on that one because I'm pretty sure it wasn't my parents for painfully obvious reasons. Ruby wouldn't because she is way too loyal. It could have been Kenny but I don't think he would. So who else knows then? I can't really remember but I think there was one more person who knows but I can't put my finger on it. Was it one of Ruby's friends or something?

Either way I wish they didn't because now I'm stuck in hospital and I have no idea how Ruby is. I mean she could be getting the wrath of dad now or something. Please, he better not have hurt her. I mean when he grabbed her hair I was more than surprised because I seriously thought he was going to start murdering her or something.

The hospital door opens and Ruby rushes in with mum close behind her. I wonder what mum wants, I'm sure she thinks the same of dad but she doesn't do violence. Hmm, how curious.

"Good, you're alright." Ruby says when she reaches my bed. "I thought he killed you. There was blood everywhere."

Sounds pretty then. I'm sure it's going to be very hard to get the blood stains from the floor then.

"I called the hospital when I saw you. It's really late; I think you were down there for a good few hours." Ruby tells me. Her voice is pretty thick. "I saw dad throw a bloody golf club into a bag and into the bin, he hit you with that didn't he?"

I nod and she lets out a shaky breath.

I notice mum is still standing at the door. Her long blonde hair looks limp and her face is pale. I never really noticed the dark rings under her eyes either. She looks tired. I wonder what's going on in her little head of hers then.

Ruby keeps talking to me for a little while and during that time mum leaves the room. "How has mum been with you?" I ask Ruby once the blonde woman has left the room.

"She's been alright to be honest. I'm not really sure if she means us any harm." Ruby admits. "I think she is scared of dad so she's been always following in his footsteps and drinks to escape it all. I know she doesn't even have the right to but she just does. She started crying when were in the living room and started saying that it wasn't your fault. I think she feels bad for you."

"If she feels bad then wouldn't she try and stop dad?" I argue.

"She's just scared." Ruby tries to compromise. "But I do agree that it is stupid of her to let this all happen. She should go to the police and report dad and get him arrested. I think that would be easier for all of us if we did that."

"Hmm. So what did you say at school?"

Ruby bites her lip. "I told them both that dad hits you and they believed me. We had a file all written out and they were actually considering to call the police but then our parents arrived and dad ripped the file up once he heard of it. He started to deny everything and Mr Mackey and Principle Victoria couldn't do anything but let him since they aren't really aloud to touch people to stop them." She runs a hand through her hair and shudders slightly. "Craig, what if you died tonight?"

"You know I won't leave you Rubes."

"No, be serious. When the paramedics came they said you weren't even breathing and you had next to no pulse. If they had been a little later then you would have been dead. Then what would I do? Pretend everything was alright? Dad has this problem about you and he hates that I actually likes you; he told me that you deserved it but then I said to him that you didn't. I might of said some other stuff which made him storm out of the house." Ruby admits sadly. "He's furious with me. If the paramedics weren't there then I was pretty sure he would have done the same to me to what he did to you."

"Rubes, why did you do that?" I ask her with a heavy sigh followed after.

"He shouldn't treat you like he does. He's a monster." Ruby says boldly. "I'm sick of him."

"That makes two of us then." I joke.

"Yeah… Are you feeling okay now?" She asks me.

"I'm okay. I'm still pretty sore and have a splitting headache but apart from that I think I'm okay." I tell her. "They also had to bandage me up pretty good. He managed to break one of my ribs."

"Shit, are you sure you're okay?" Ruby asks me. "I didn't think he'd actually break any bones. He's usually careful to not do that."

"Well he wasn't today was he?" I lean back and close my eyes. "I'm tired."

"Then go to sleep. I'm staying the night." Ruby pulls the hospital chair closer to the bed and puts her head onto it comfortably. "I'm not leaving you."

I smile lightly and for the second time this day I finally go back to sleep. At least this time I feel a hell of a lot more safe.


	12. KM Life is a Downwards Spiral

**_Short but hey, it does get tedious with too many long chapters right? Eh heh, don't worry the next chapter is longer, that's a promise._**

**_Special thanks to TheGrimKeeper and xLawlietx, your continuous reviews of encouragement, it means so much to me. Literally, thank you both of ya :3 Thank you to everyone else who has reviewed as well, you guys as awesome! Cookies loves you all!_**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

"Guys! Guys! Did you see what happened last night? It was so dramatic!" I see Cartman run over to our table where I, Stan, Kyle, Bebe and Wendy are sitting.

"What is it now fatass?" Kyle sighs. He's been a little tenser lately. Especially around Stan. But alas, they can't keep shit from me and I totally saw them making out at the party on Saturday. I still need to ask them about that as well. Perhaps not now with the girls around and Cartman. And definitely not together. I'll ask them separately.

Cartman slips on to the bench next to Wendy and slams his tray down. "So last night I was walking past Craig's house and then there was all this commotion. There was an ambulance outside and everything!" Cartman says gleefully. What the fuck is his problem? How can he be so happy about this? The jerk. "He was totally lifted out onto a stretcher into an ambulance. There was like blood everywhere!"

"Why the hell are you so happy about that?" Wendy snaps. "That's just cruel. Don't be such a jackass."

"Is he okay?" Bebe asks with her voice full of concern.

"Do you know what happened?" Kyle asks.

"I don't know but it was so epic. I mean this is just enough evidence to show how much of a weakling he is!" Cartman announces. "I always knew he was weak! Apparently he fell down the stairs but it was enough to send him to the hospital!"

He starts laughing wildy, enough to draw much attention to our table. I stand up angrily and smack him behind the head and he yells at me. "You seriously have a fucking problem if you think laughing at someone who is seriously hurt is okay." I hiss at him.

"Dude, I'm sorry. I forgot you and the other poor boy are literally dating." Cartman sneers.

The comment is enough for me to lunge at him and knock him onto the floor. I end up sitting on him and keep whacking his face with my fists over and over again. I hear him screaming at me to stop and even trying to stop me but he's no match against me.

Stan and Kyle end up dragging me off Cartman and they have to hold on tightly to both of my arms to prevent me from attacking the fat prick again. "Kenny! Dude chill, Cartman was just joking!" Stan says to me.

"But he always has to take it too far." Kyle snaps. "Way to go fatass. Are you trying to hurt everyone around you?"

"Excuse me you Jew but he's the one who literally broke my face!" Cartman cries. He wipes his nose and notices I've actually managed to make it bleed. "Fuck you Kinny, why the hell did you do that?"

I don't get to answer as Mr Mackey walks in a few moments later after someone had reported me beating Cartman's ass. His face goes red as he yells at us and tells me to go down to the Principal's office. "Gladly." I say and storm out of the cafeteria.

I wonder how many people pulled out their phones and started recording that. Well I'll find out next time I go on Facebook because people will end up posting videos onto there and it will be linked to me one way or another. Well Cartman deserved that; he can't just say things about people like that. Especially if he has no idea how much that person goes through.

Mr Mackey tells me to sit down and he rants on for ten minutes on how I shouldn't beat up other students. "What possessed you to do that Kenneth?" He asks me. Yeah, as I grew up older he started to call me Kenneth instead of Kenny. I bet he does that just to piss me off.

"He was saying stupid things." I retort childishly. I cross my arms and look in the other direction to make me look like even more of a kid. Well I'm sorry but the fatass totally did bring that on himself.

"What was he talking about then?" Mr Mackey asks. I bet he's already sick to death of me, Cartman and Kyle in his office saying that someone else said something mean to them. Mostly it's Kyle complaining about Cartman which is my excuse and Cartman complaining about me and Kyle. Stan is the only one from our group of four who doesn't actually get sent to the office anymore. Such a good little boy.

"He was just saying mean things about one of my friends." I admit. I finally realize I'm actually sounding like a little child and calm down a little bit. "He had no right to."

"And what was he saying mkay?" Mr Mackey asks.

"He was saying my friend was weak when he isn't." I start to accidentally rant on. "I mean who is he to say he's weak? Cartman doesn't know shit about him yet he always picks on him. I don't' even know why he does anymore. When we were younger it was common to see them fight but now it's getting sad, especially since Craig doesn't even care anymore."

I notice Mr Mackey pale when I mention Craig's name and that's when I start to worry.

"Mr Mackey, you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah mkay. I'll have a word with Eric mkay? You can leave now." Mr Mackey dismisses me. He doesn't even give me a punishment.

I huff and stand up and pivot on my heel. Strutting over to the door I notice a lot of ripped paper near the bin. "What have you been ripping up?" I ask him curiously. I head over to the bin and peer inside and notice a ripped stack of papers.

"Kenneth, that's confidential. Just leave now mkay?" Mr Mackey says nervously.

I completely ignore him and reach into the bin and pick up the papers. I narrow my eyes when I find Ruby and Craig's names written on the paper. "The hell is this." I mutter.

"Kenneth, put that back into the bin and leave. Now." Mr Mackey says. He tries to sound tough and threatening but I know the worst he can do is yell at you loudly before calming down a minute later. He isn't tough.

I roll my eyes and once again ignore him and read through the papers more. I know he can't do shit to me. Teachers aren't allowed to touch students unless it's really serious like if another student was beating the crap out of another student, then they would be allowed the pull them apart. So I carry on reading the papers then everything starts to fall to place. "Mr Mackey, what is this." I demand. "Why is it in the bin?!"

"It's nothing mkay. There was a misunderstanding yesterday." Mr Mackey tells me. "Now hand it here, I'll shred it so no one else can read it."

"Sir, did it ever occur to you what is on this paper is actually true?" I ask him. He looks at me with this look like he wants to discuss this but then I realize he must of told Craig and Ruby everything that they discussed would be kept secret. "You can talk to me about; I already know what's going on."

"You do?" Mr Mackey looks surprised. He looks around nervously and then gestures me to take a seat at his desk. "Mr Tucker said everything that was on this sheet was completely fake mkay. I'm not really sure myself but I know he's lying. If we have any evidence I'm pretty sure we'll get the truth."

I think I'm about to play a game of detective with Mr Mackey. Woo best game ever. "Sir, I can get you evidence if you want this to the police." I tell him. "If you let me leave the school, obviously with your permission, I can get all the evidence needed for this."

He looks uncertain. "Is it really our business about this?" he asks out loud.

"Yes. Now what we just discussed is confidential, you are not allowed to tell anyone about this." I tell him. "I'll come back if I have more evidence."

I strut out of the office and out of the school just like that. No one even stops me so I find that sort of amusing, especially since I've just walked out of the principal's office so Mr Mackey wouldn't have even had enough time to tell everyone that I was allowed to leave. Oh well.

I head down the cracked paths of South Park and end up heading to the hospital which is the most obvious place Craig is. I'm not even brave enough to try the Tucker residence household anyway.

I wonder if there are any investigations going on down there anyway.

Well I don't know but I hope so. I have everything fixed up in place and all evidence cleared up. All I need is for Craig to finalize everything. That may be hard because as everyone knows, trying to get Craig to spill out information is trying to breathe under water. Firstly it's pretty much impossible and next it's sort of plain old stupid. I mean breathing under water? Who the fuck tries to do that shit?

Well maybe I did it that one time but it was a dare.

I ask where Craig is when I get to the receptionist at the hospital and she gives me a whole list of directions. She's lucky I actually managed to figure out where his room was because I forgot most of the directions the moment I left the front desk.

I knock on the door before walking into the room. I spot him almost instantly. Damn, it must have been bad last night. "Ouch, that looks painful." I'm not even sure if I'm referring to the bandage which is wrapped around his head or the deep purple bruises which are slowly blooming on his skin. "You okay man?"

"Fine, nothing I can't handle." He mumbles. He moves his arm from over his eyes and peers over at me. I notice the gradually growing dark rings under his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm going to fix everything for you." I announce.

He watches me curiously as I scrape a hospital chair over to his bed. "What do you mean by that?"

"I think I have everything figured out Craig." I tell him. "Care to listen to my theory?"

"What theory?" He deadpans. "What are you on about McCormick? I'm not in the mood for any of your mind games right now."

"Don't worry; this is definitely not a mind game. If anything this theory will definitely help you." I assure him.

"Okay, spit it out." He tells me though I can tell he is still confused.

"Last night you didn't fall down the stairs." I announce. He pales as he starts to realize I know everything. "It was your dad, he beat you black and blue so much you needed to go to the hospital. However I don't know who called the hospital. Care to tell me?"

Craig looks at me uncertainly. "I don't know what you're on about."

"Of course you do, now tell me, who called the hospital?"

He sighs in defeat. "It was Ruby."

I can tell he's starting to get uncomfortable so I hastily carry on telling him my theory. "You're scared of your parents but the love for your sister overpowers the fear. You try and protect her so that's why you are often out of the house so you can avoid your parents. You're scared they are going to try and hurt Ruby. That's why you're always bruised and that's how you busted your lip. You didn't fall down the stairs that day; you were hit by your dad. Also when you slept over at my house you were scared about me finding out everything. That's why you panicked because you were scared that your secret was out. I don't know why but you're scared that if anyone finds out that your parents are hurting you that something bad is going to happen. You're letting fear control your life." I take a deep breath and look at him. "I'm right aren't I?"

Craig looks at me with a seriously confused confession. "How did you figure all that out?" He asks me. His voice is barely a whisper.

"Just managed to get some evidence." I admit. "But Craig, look at me."

He looks over at me. He looks so tired. "What?"

"People care about you. Even if it isn't your parent's people do care about you. I care about you. But the person who cares about you the most is your sister." I remind him. "Think about your sister. I know it hurts you getting hit and used as a punching bag but it's also bad for her. Imagine you're her and you see your older brother being beaten up. Imagine being scared all the time and worrying that your parents are just going to hurt him again."

"Kenny. Stop."

"She desperately wants to tell the police about all this. Ruby wants all this to stop. But she doesn't tell the police because you're too scared." I pursue on. "This is all the truth Craig. You have to believe me. Now you can stop all this if you just go to the police and tell them."

Craig stays eerily silent and I'm ready to poke him or something just to see if he's alive but he starts up again. "Maybe you didn't know but yesterday my sister did actually tell Mr Mackey and Principle Victoria about it but my parents were call in and what did they do?!" He gestures his body. "My dad got a fucking golf club and hit me with it over and over again. It actually couldn't have even been me he beaten."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Because he asked if it was me or Ruby. And you know what I said? I said it was me even though it was Ruby because I knew she wouldn't be able to handle him hitting her over and over again. She tried to tell someone but all it did was land me in hospital." He rants on. "That's why I'm too scared to tell the police because I know next time I try I won't even be that lucky because I'll probably end up dead!"

"Man, I never knew that much." I admit to him. I look down at my lap feeling a less confident now that I know everything. "How many people know about all this?"

"Just you." He reveals. "Because you just had to try and find out. Why do you even try? I don't get you McCormick."

Craig rolls over onto his side so he doesn't look at me anymore. I hear him sniffing. I never knew the stoic Craig Tucker cried this much. Well its better out then in I guess. Wait, that's for a different meaning. Oh well.

I pat his arm and stand up from my chair. "I try because I'm worried about you. No person has to go through what you're going through." I head over to the door and before I open it I try and reassure him as much as possible. "Tonight I'll pick up Ruby with Karen and she can stay the night at my house. Tomorrow morning I'll come back here with Ruby and we can all go to the police station. Does that sound like a good plan?"

He stays silent for a few moments as if he's actually considering this, which I find surprising since if it were me I would have said yes in a matter of minutes. "Fine. Just make sure Ruby is safe okay?"

"I'll make sure. That's a promise alright? Now I have to go now if I want to make it on time to pick up Karen and Ruby. See you tomorrow."

I leave the room with no answer from him.

I can only hope he can actually go through the plan.


	13. SM The Wrong Person

**_Okay, I have a small request for all of you. If you can, pretty please head onto my profile and answer the poll :3 It'll just help me, that's all. Thank you :3_**

**_Hope you enjoy. R&R please :3_**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

I end up wounding up at the Broflovski's doorstep one night. It's cold outside and I'm practically freezing my ass off. Well maybe I could have put some more clothes on because I admit a pair of thin jeans and a short sleeved shirt doesn't really keep you the warmest on a cold night.

I only knock on the door once when Shelia opens it. "Stan! It must be freezing. Come inside." She quickly says when she notices me. She basically drags me inside and closes the door behind herself.

Now I really like Mrs Broflovski. She is like my second mother. I can easily say she's also been a great help on my family when we started to shatter and break apart. She was the one who held my mother's hand when she sobbed about how everything was unfair and she was the one who put a big smile on her face when I came over feeling all down. Shelia knows what's going on in our family and she knows how to fix, or at least heal, it back up. But now I think she's lost all hope for the Marsh family.

"I presume you came over to see Kyle." She asks me once she brought it on herself to dust the snow out of my hair, which may I add I could of done perfectly fine myself but hey, what has been done has been done.

"If you don't mind." I tell her.

"Of course not. I'm sure he has been missing you. I noticed you haven't been over as regularly as you usually do. Is everything okay between the both of you?" She asks. "I know Kyle can be a little fiery but you've been friends for ever, if you both have had an argument or something then just push it to the side. There is no point wasting such a great friendship like yours."

I offer her a hint of a smile. "I assure you everything is fine between me and Kyle, Mrs Broflovski. There have just been some issues but nothing we can't fix."

"That's good." She states. "Okay, you know where his room is."

"Okay. Thanks." I head up the stairs and down the hallway. It's clean as per usual but you can smell the strong smell of Shelia's perfume. It's a fact that she puts way too much on. One time it was that bad I literally nearly had an asthma attack from it. Good times our childhood was.

I'm about to go into Kyle's room when I feel something being thrown at me. I frown and turn around to see Ike standing at his bedroom door. He quickly motions me to come inside. So instead of heading into Kyle's room I scurry across to Ike's room.

He doesn't say anything but quickly closes his door behind him.

His room is pretty clean. His bed is in the corner with the covers all done up nicely and the desk that sits in his corner is all organized. I can't help but marvel his bookshelf either because it's all been done up in size order as well as colour and alphabetically as well. I would never have the patience to sit down and do that for hour after hour. I'd end up throwing the books on the floor, pull out a gallon of petrol and light a match then burn everything.

"Take a seat on my bed Stan." Ike tells me. "I need to tell you something and I think it will help you a little bit if you hear me out."

I shrug and head over to his bed. It's as comfy as it looks. Is that also the smell of lavender I can smell as well? "Well, what do you need to say?"

Ike sighs heavily and looks at me with a distant look. "You know, I really like you Stan. You're like my second big brother. You where one of the first people around when I took my first steps and I remember you being around when I started to babble my first words. I also distinctively remember that you were the one who taught me to ice-skate." He smiles at me but then it soon quickly fades away. "Kyle told me about the kiss you know. He was all nervous about it and he said he was an idiot for doing it. But he also said he meant it as well."

"Okay then…"

"May I also add that he was completely a hundred per cent sober when he kissed you as well?" Ike adds.

That makes me nearly choke on air in surprise. "He was?!"

Ike smirks. "He is actually quite the actor." He admits. "Did you know for the last year he always rants on at me every time I and Kyle sit down together on how much he really likes you?"

"Oh, I never knew that."

"Well he always said he was too scared to ask you out because he was scared you'd reject him because he was gay." Ike looks at me with a dry smile. "I spotted you and Kyle the other day you know."

I swallow. "Was that when you and Firkle were?" I suggest and Ike nods.

"Yeah." He gives me an awkward nod. "I'm afraid ma is going to be a little disappointed when she realizes that she isn't gonna get any grandchildren."

"I'm sure she'll get over it." I assure him. "Or if you want children when you're older you can also adopt you know."

"I know. Anyway, at first I never thought I was even gay and I bet that's how you're feeling isn't it?" He tells me and I nod. "Well it was Firkle who asked me out. He just said if I wanted to hang out at the park after school and I agreed. He then admitted he liked me later on and then we just connected. Some people are embarrassed if they are asked out by the same gender but this is what I say. It doesn't matter what gender the person is, the shell does not matter. What matters is on the inside, the persona of the person. If you like someone because they are who they are then you should be with them."

"Ike, Ike." I quickly stop him. "You do realize that I'm not bothered about gay people?"

Ike does a double take. "Wait, you're not?"

"No, I thought you knew I'm not a homophobic." I remind him. "It's Cartman that's the one who's scared of gay people."

Ike blinks at me for a few moments and he finally places the puzzle pieces together. "Well Kyle did rant on about someone being a complete homophobic and he did throw in Eric's name once. I think I might have got my facts muddled up. Sorry about that."

"No problem." I sigh. I lie back onto his bed. It makes me want to fall asleep because the smell of lavender is overwhelming.

Ike looks at me uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just fine." I rub my eyes. "Yeah, I just need to see Kyle and leave. Thanks for the talk."

I stand up and stretch, feeling my bones click slightly and muscles stretch. It hurts slightly but it doesn't concern me too much. "Stan, have you ever considered going to the doctors?" He asks much to my surprise.

"What do you mean? I'm not hurt or anything." I throw him a confused look.

"This is none of my business but I do think you might want to go to the doctors or something." He tells me. "You just don't look like you were when you were a child. That sparkle that once was in your eyes, it's gone. You've lost all enthusiasm. It's like you're just a zombie if I must say so. I can't really help but worry. Kyle had also mentioned you do drink sometimes. Is that true?"

"Maybe." I mumble whilst now feeling embarrassed. What is he actually leading up to?

"This is just a suggestion but have you ever considered you have depression?" Ike asks me softly.

"Depression? Ike, what are you on about. Why on earth would I have that?" I challenge him.

He rubs the back of his neck and looks at me with a serious expression. "It would make sense since you were diagnosed with it when you were a child." He explains to me.

"That was when my parents split up, they said I had it but it wasn't like it was too bad." I say.

Ike raises an eyebrow. "You started to drink Stan and you were ten years old." He states. "Did you know your livers were still developing then and still are? Drinking too much will kill you, you do realize that?"

I nod and feel bad again. Ike can make you feel bad when he wants you to.

"If you don't mind me saying but I know you may drink to feel better because your dad is also a heavy drinker. It must be through family genes that you drink." He says matter-of-factly. "But to be honest I never would guessed you'd start drinking so young."

"Ike, is there a point to this?" I ask, feeling most definitely annoyed.

He stops hesitantly. "Okay, you can go now. Just promise me that you won't do anything stupid in the future and put down the bottle. Maybe visit the doctors whilst you're at it."

"It's not as simple as that…" I mutter. "But I'll try. For you anyway."

"Thanks Stan." Ike smiles genuinely for the first time we've both been in here. "Now go see Kyle. I'm sure he wants to see you."

He ushers me out of the room and closes the door rather loudly behind me. Well loud enough for Kyle to open his door to see what's going on. When he spots me he smiles softly.

"Hey." He says to me softly.

"Hey."

Well this is certainly most awkward. "How about you come inside?" Kyle offers me. He opens his bedroom door and steps aside as I walk inside. As per usual his room is just as organized as Ike's. It doesn't really surprise me. It's just how Kyle is. "So, how are you doing?"

"Fine, fine." I answer him. I should have known this was going to be an awkward few moments of small talk before I leave.

"That's good." Kyle says.

We stand in a complete silence. Well until I can't stand it anymore. "Kyle, can we talk?" I ask him.

Kyle looks surprised but he nods. "Sure."

"I can't handle this if it's just going to be small talk until I leave. Let's just talk, me and you." I say to him.

"Okay…"

"Ike told me a lot of things. He also told me that you were sober when you kissed me and I know he wouldn't lie about that." I explain to him. "He also said that you've liked me for quite a while."

"Of course the little brat would tell you that." Kyle mutters in distaste.

"It doesn't matter Kyle. I'm glad he told me all that." I admit. "Kyle, have you been too scared to tell me how you really feel all this time?"

Kyle does a classic double take, an exact replica's of his brother's before he puts his hands up in defeat. "Okay, you got me. It's true, I've liked you more than just a friend for quite a while." Kyle tells me just like that. "And yeah, I've been too scared to tell you. I was scared that it was going to ruin our friendship. You know I really value it dude."

"I never really knew." I say. I'm in disbelief because I can't believe I've been blind to all this all this time.

"But then I really realized I like you more than a friend but I was scared if I told you then you'd abandon me. I don't really want that." Kyle says shakily. "So on Saturday I guess I just got really confident. I pretended I was drunk even when I wasn't and then I kissed you. I just needed you. I know, it sounds stupid but it's true!"

I stay silent and wipe my suddenly glassy eyes. "Fuck, I didn't know."

"I bet you hate me now don't you." Kyle quickly jumps to the conclusion. The wrong conclusion may I add.

"I don't hate you." I tell him softly.

Kyle blinks at me surprised. "You don't?"

"No dude, I freaking love you." I tell him. "To be honest I never really thought about dating you but if you really do like me that much and then I guess we should try dating."

"Fuck. Dude, do you really mean it?" Kyle leans over at me so with a look so hopeful. I nod. "I'm so happy."

He runs his hands through my hair and connects our lips together once again and we kiss deeply. I'm not sure what a kiss really means. Is it a token of love? I know only people who are dating or married kiss, well the only exception of that is being Kenny. I've lost count how many times Kenny has kissed my cheek or even pecked my lips when he's been in a drunken state. I never took them seriously because I knew he was playing around when he did so. It's just a Kenny move to do.

Soon we're lying down in his bed, me being wrapped up in Kyle's slender arms. I yawn loudly and Kyle places his chin on top of my head and makes himself comfortable. "Here, you can go to sleep if you want." He offers.

"Hmm." I mumble. For once I'm actually feeling truly tired.

"I'll go to sleep as well." Kyle tells me. "Hmm, you're so small. I'm scared you're going to break or something."

"Don't worry; I'm not breaking anytime soon." I mumble sleepily. "Hey, why does your brother want me to go to the doctors?"

"He said he wants you to go to the doctors?" Kyle asks. He holds onto me tighter. "Why would he want that?"

"He thinks I'm depressed." I admit. "You don't think that right?"

Kyle falls silent and I realize he's actually silently agreeing with his younger brother. "Well, I think he does have a point." He tells me. "And a trip to the doctors wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Why do you want me to go as well?"

"Because I'm just worried about you. You don't know how much I worry that I'm going to find you dead one morning, and I fear much more that I'll find you dead and drunk as well. "Kyle tells me carefully. "Perhaps a trip to the doctors may do you good?"

"And what are they going to do?" I ask annoyed. "Tell me to stop drinking?"

"They'll help you." Kyle explains to me. "And if you're depressed then they'll give you something to help you. And if that doesn't work then I'll help you."

"Kyle…" I murmur.

"I'm not letting you feel horrible about yourself and I'm definitely not leaving you alone." He tells me. "We'll discuss it in the morning. Sleep now okay?"

I nod and close my eyes shut. Surprisingly I'm asleep in a matter of moments.

* * *

When I wake up I see Mrs Broflovski standing at the doorway with a phone at her ear. I hear her confirming that I'm at her house. I think my parents realized that I wasn't even home last night.

Then I see Kyle walk back into his bedroom. He offers me a smile when he notices I'm awake. His mum has enough sense to leave us be and I hear her walk down the stairs.

"I've been awake for like an hour." Kyle announces. "I was about to wake you up. It's 7am and we have school today."

"Oh, 'kay then." I sit up sleepily and stretch.

"You look so adorable when you sleep." Kyle tells me suddenly. I feel heat rise to my cheeks and Kyle takes advantage and smirks at it. "It reminds me of a kitten when you sleep."

"I remind you of a…cat?" I ask him.

"No, I cute little kitten." Kyle exclaims. He scurries around his room and puts stuff into his bags and sorts out bags and books. "God damnit, I have too much homework." He mutters. "This is why you don't get yourself into the higher classes because you have a shit ton of work to do"

"Well I don't really bother doing my homework anyway." I reveal to him.

"Well how come you never get into trouble?"

"Because the teachers actually expect that from us. Just because we're in the bottom classes then the teachers always expects us to be thick and dumb so they don't even care if we don't hand it, they only really care about the class work and assessments." I explain to him. "So I just take advantage of that I guess."

He shakes his head at me. "You could be a lot higher in school if you just try." He tries to motivate me.

"What's the point, I don't really see one." I tell him. "It's not like it's so important."

Kyle frowns at me. "Okay then… Hey, how about we get some breakfast before heading to school?"

I agree to loosen the sudden tension. We both head downstairs and I grab an apple whilst Kyle grabs a strawberry breakfast bar. We then go back upstairs and Kyle grabs his bag.

"Hey, shouldn't we head back to your house and grab your bags?" Kyle suggests.

"No, I don't really need anything." I tell him. "I've got spare pens and pencils in the lockers."

"Okay and let's get going then." Kyle says to me. He quickly snatches a kiss from my cheek and grins slightly in amusement.

I spot Ike smiling from his doors. Kyle strides on ahead so I only give Ike a wave. He just gives me two thumbs up and a wild grin.

It was like he was expecting this or something. Then again he probably would have. The smart bastard.


	14. RT Our Guardian Angel

**_Gomen for this chapter T-T It just had to happen._**

**_God, it looked a hell of a lot longer on Microsoft... *shrugs* Oh well. Hope you enjoy!_**

**_Don't forget to R&R (Thanks to all who have :3) and I don't own South Park _**

* * *

I wake up in the middle of the night. I'm at the McCormick house again. Kenny had picked up me and Karen and said that I was staying over at his house tonight. Karen seemed excited and I was pretty happy at the idea too.

We all had tea and lounged around in the living room. Karen started to braid my hair whilst Kenny brushed her hair. We all sat in a line and I was at the front of it. My hands were held together the hold time. I admit I was sort of praying that Craig would be alright.

Then it was time for bed again. We set up a camp in the living room again with blankets and pillows scattered around in an unorganized fashion. Kenny sleeps on the couch whilst I and Karen take the floor.

I don't mind that much. I laid down and put my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. Then I started to pretend everything was okay. I mean, everything is going to be okay right?

When I fall asleep I sleep like a log until I wake up once again. To my surprise it's Kenny that's waking me up. He gently shakes my shoulder until he knows I'm awake and he takes a step back. "We're leaving for the hospital in half an hour. Get ready for then." He says and he traipses back into his bedroom.

I wake Karen up and together we get ready. She offers me some fresh clothes and I thankfully accept them. They are the perfect size but something I wouldn't wear if I had a choice. Probably because they're too casual. The outfit consists of a pair of black leggings and a white striped black shirt. Then there is a pair of dungarees over the top of them but instead of legs it's a skirt. "It'll be a lot more comfortable to wear, trust me." She says. "And it looks cute!"

"Oh, okay. Thanks." I tell her gratefully. She nods and we head into the kitchen and nab a slice of toast each and wait at the front door.

Kenny arrives a few minutes later. He's wearing his usual orange parka but minus the hood. His hair looks messy like he just brushed a hand through it messily. "Are we all ready to go then?" He asks us all.

We all nod and head out of the front door.

It's snowing today. The floor is covered with snow and the pavements are icy. I hold onto Karen's hand as she holds onto her brothers so she won't fall over. Karen and Kenny remind me of Craig and me. I guess it's because our older brothers love us so much and try to do anything to protect us.

But sometimes I wonder how far they'll actually go to protect us. I mean I know Craig better than anyone. That makes lots of people jealous, especially the people who want to date my brother. And it doesn't even matter if they're girls or boys. Anyway sometimes at school people come up to me and always ask about my brother. It's the usual questions. What's his favourite colour? What does he like to eat? Does he like to top or bottom? I flip people off if they ask the last question or if I'm in the mood I may even slap them before walking off. People can be so perverted. And in the wrong way too.

I never tell anyone about my brother. It's like a sworn sacred rule that the Tucker's never tell anyone about any other Tucker unless that Tucker wants them to. I think that's why Craig was so reluctant for me to tell the police. Either that or he's too scared to tell the police because he hates to cause a fuss. I know what he'll be like. They'll be police cars and then all this courts and people getting arrested. It'll all be so troublesome. Craig likes it nice and boring.

I hold onto Karen's hand tighter as we cross the road. We all confidently walk on to the hospital. Everything is going to be okay now. Craig is going to walk out with us and we're going to head to the police station. Everything is going to be sorted out and finally we'll get a happy ending.

They'll be no more running and no more hiding. We'll all be able to finally be in peace. It's something that I've always dreamed of. One day without no worry and one day where I can smile with ease. It just makes me sad when every day I know that won't happen. But today is going to be the day everything changes. I can easily say that I'm excited.

We walk through the hospital doors and I feel so confident I feel like nothing can bring me down. Everything is going to be so perfect now.

Kenny and Karen say they need to go off to the bathroom so they say I can go on ahead. I do know where my brother's hospital room is after all. So I stride on ahead feeling happy and lightheaded at the same time. Perhaps there are millions of butterflies in my stomach and are flying around in a daze of excitement and nervousness. It's almost time.

I go to the hospital door and knock on it before entering. Then everything starts to fall apart. The bed is empty when I walk in. In fact there is absolutely no one in the room. It's empty. White walls and the unnerving sound of silence is what are in stall for me. The bed has been made and done up with fresh sheets. The covers have been tucked in tightly and professionally and the single pillow looks like it has just been fluffed up and ready to be used for the next person who is going to be occupying this room.

But where's Craig? He isn't in here. There is absolute no trace that he's been in this room. Does that mean he's already out or something? Perhaps he's waiting for me somewhere else. That has to be it. I'm pretty sure he isn't dead or something. He was absolutely fine yesterday when I snuck a visit in.

"Can I help you miss?" A doctor asks me. I spin around and look at the woman. She has a soft expression of her face and you can see her cheekbones lifted up into a smile. Her hair has been plaited down one side and the hair sits on her shoulder. "Are you looking for someone? This room is empty at the moment."

Oh, like I didn't know that already. "My brother was in this room yesterday." I explain to her. "But it seems he isn't here anymore. Do you know where he is?"

"Can I have his name? I'll sure I can find out then." She tells me.

"Oh, it's Craig Tucker." I tell her.

She gives me a brief nod before telling me she'll find out at the reception. I watch her quickly walk down the shiny hospital hallway and I wait here for a few moments. I guess he's already signed himself out. But where on earth is he then? I'm sure he can't be back at home, he wouldn't go there right? That'd just be stupid. Unless my parents came back and picked him up. But that couldn't have happened. I hope.

I end up standing there in a deep ponder and don't even realize that the nurse has returned. "Miss, I have his location." She tells me.

I shake my head slightly and look up at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry; he's been moved into a different room." She tells me softly. "I couldn't get the details but there were some problems and he's currently in a coma."

And that's when the world stops spinning. "What? I think you got the wrong person." I tell her, chuckling at the end slightly. "My brother, yesterday he was up and talking to me. There wasn't anything that bad wrong with him. I mean yeah there were a few bad bumps but that was it."

"Miss, please. I'm not lying." The nurse insists.

"Then what's wrong with him then?" I yell at her. "What's wrong with my brother? Is it something bad? Is he going to _die_?"

"Please calm down!" The nurse requests of me. I back down and cross my arms. "Thank you. Now like I said the receptionist didn't give me so much information. All they said was that there were just some breathing problems which were triggered from your brother hyperventilating. That was all that I was told, I promise."

"Oh…" From what I've learnt is that being in a coma isn't good. There is always that worry that the person won't come out of it and there is that thought that the person may die. I don't want my brother to die. I really don't want him to leave me. "Can I have a moment please?"

"Don't you want the room number?" The nurse asks me as I walk past her. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Fine, fine. Everything is perfectly fine!" I announce. "I only found out my brother is in a freaking coma so yeah, I feel absolutely great!"

One minute I felt like I was on the top of the world and the next minute I'm sitting on the hospital floor bawling my eyes out. I hear two pairs of footsteps quickly running towards me. "Ruby? Ruby! Are you okay?" I hear Kenny call out to me.

He leans down in front of me and I lift my head up. His face looks blurred through the tears which are caught on the end of my eye lashes. I suddenly hold onto him tightly, and he rocks me back and forth. It's a silent comfort.

Kenny must know something is wrong but he doesn't ask. We both sit on the hospital floor together, Kenny rocking me back and forth like he had once done with my brother whilst I cry like Craig had once done. Kenny is like our angel. Like our Guardian Angel.

He waits until I've stopped and then finally asks me what is wrong. I gulp a few times as I try and get my voice back. "He's…in a…coma." I manage to spit out.

Kenny looks bewildered. "Are you sure?" He asks me uncertainly.

I nod desperately. "I asked the nurse, she said he was in a coma." I cry to him. "Kenny, what if he dies?"

"Craig isn't going anywhere." Kenny assures me. "I'll go to the receptionist and ask where his room is."

I climb off his lap and stand next to Karen as Kenny heads off to the receptionist.

"Are you okay now?" Karen asks me. She slips her hand into my hand and holds on tightly. "You're so strong Ruby."

"Huh?"

"You've been through so much and you're still here. Instead of moping around at school you stay strong and act like nothing is wrong. You could always go and cry in a corner and feel bad for yourself but you stay strong. If it were Kenny who was in a coma right now I'd be out of the hospital crying my eyes out." She tells me.

I wipe my eyes, noticing my eyelashes are slightly prickly. "But I'd just spent the last ten minutes crying in the hallway. How is that strong?"

"Everyone has those moments of weakness." Ruby tells me, rubbing her thumb over my hand in a caring way. "It doesn't matter how strong you are or how weak, everyone will have those moments in their life where they are weak. Masks will break after a while. Everyone is wearing a mask and everyday it slowly shatters until it finally breaks. I'm wearing a mask and even Kenny is as well. These masks hide our true emotions. Yours has just broken but it doesn't mean you can't replace it right?"

"Yeah… That's right." I give her a grin. "Thank you Karen. I think I feel better now."

"It's no problem." She says. "It's much better to smile then be sad. Kenny always tells me that."

Speaking of Kenny he arrives and tells us Craig's new room is up stairs. We take the steps and race up them and pound down the hallway. Some nurse's frown at us when they see me running but some hold sympathetic looks. I don't know if I like the angry ones or the sad ones.

It makes me feel so vulnerable and small.

I'm actually a lot more mature than I look. It's funny how people always judge you on looks. They never bother to ask you what you're like. That's how most people are judged as.

It's sad.

I stand outside of Craig's new hospital room. I feel a wave of nervousness wash over me and swallow heavily as I place my hand on the door handle. It's wet and I realize it's because I'm sweating so much. It's gross but I can't help it.

I wipe my forehead and take a deep breath. It feels like I'm going to jump off an airplane with no parachute. You end up falling until you crash onto the floor. You'll end up dying because the impact would be so harsh. Perhaps you'll survive by some miracle but you'll be in horrible agony up until you die. But if you do survive then you'll probably be paralyzed. I wouldn't like that. Just watching the world fly by while you're stuck in the same place.

The door handle is pushed down and I step into the hospital room. It's cold in here, or perhaps it's just me. It feels like time has frozen and I'm the only person who hasn't been caught up in the freezing spell.

I'm yanked out of my fantasy when a hand is placed onto my shoulder and I turn to see Kenny. He isn't looking at me though. He's looking at Craig.

He's looking at my brother.

I never knew a person could look so pale. With skin as white as snow. You know Craig looks like the male version of Snow White right now. She was poisoned by an apple and she was awoken by a true love's kiss. I wonder who Craig's prince is. Or perhaps he doesn't need a prince.

If I had to place Craig into a fairy-tale it would have to be Alice in Wonderland. But Craig isn't a girl but he's in a wonderland. Perhaps he can be called Mister Wonderland. It has a nice ring to it.

Alice was dependent as she tried to find a way out of the wonderland. She ate cakes and drank drinks that could have even killed her. She ate them anyway. She always took a risk and in the end she found a way out of the wonderland. It was ironic because she actually came to like that wonderland as well.

Everyone lives in a wonderland. Everyone's is different.

I head over to his bed and slip my hand over his and hold onto it tightly. He doesn't respond. I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up that he will respond now nor should I get my hopes up if he'll respond in a day. Perhaps he'll never respond and we'll have to let him go.

No, I can't let him go. He's a fighter. He can do this.

The steady sound of the heart monitor is heard.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

It's repetitive. That's good. It means he is still with us.

"I never thought I'd see him like this." Kenny says from behind me. "You know, I wanted to get to know your brother. I wanted to be his friend. I'm friends with a lot of people and that's because I got to know that person."

"Craig didn't like it when people tried to get to know him." I tell him.

The blonde chuckles. "You got that right." He tells me. "I just liked his mysterious persona; he was different from every other person in our school. There was just something about him that everyone was either jealous of or wanted to break through. It was like he had built up a brick wall barrier that no one could break through. He just wanted to be isolated or alone." He looks down sadly. "I just never thought that things would be like this. I thought that on the outside he was like everyone else. I would have never guessed he'd be beaten by his parents."

"Yeah, I'd be surprised too."

"Hmm. I guess things happen." Kenny concludes. "He looks so fucking fragile."

I stroke Craig's hand and nod in agreement. "I hate that he never lets me take the fall for anything. I know it's because he wants to protect me but he never lets me get hurts. Every time I do something wrong he takes the fall. When he takes the fall he's always hurt. But the other night it was different. Dad had never hurt him with something other than his hands so when I heard he used a golf club I couldn't help but call the ambulance. I found him in the basement. He was bleeding and there was blood. There was blood coming from his head and for a moment I thought he was dead. I knew he was broken but I didn't want him to be dead."

"He told me he'd broken a rib." Kenny tells me.

"Yeah, it must be a pain in the ass." I chuckle but I bite my lips afterwards. I'm not going to cry anymore. No more crying. There have been enough tears to last us a lifetime. I also have to be strong. I know Craig would want me, and need me, to be strong.

Kenny doesn't say anything. "You know I have this project to learn about Craig but I think it's going to be a little bit hard now. You know, since he's not really awake right now."

"Well that project is going to be finished because he's gonna wake up." I tell Kenny adamantly. "He's going to open up those eyes of his and he's going to live with us. We're not going to let him die. I'm not going to let him die."

Kenny looks amused. "How are you going to stop him if he starts to die then?"

"I'll go over to Heaven and freaking drag him back to the world of living if I have to." I tell him. I have no idea how I'd do that but hey, one can try can't they?

The blonde laughs loudly. "Okay Rubes, you try and do that." He tells me. "How about you bring back every other dead person whilst you're at it?"

"I don't know them so I don't see why not." I shrug at him. "Hey, can Craig hear us right now? I heard that people who are in coma can hear us."

"Well you can try can't you?" Kenny suggests.

I turn to look at Craig. "So, you probably just heard all that then so I don't really need to make up an over the top introduction." I sigh. "What have you done to deserve this, only heaven knows. People are supposed to motivate the person who are actually in a coma and tell them to wake up. Well I'm just going to tell you this. If you die on me I'll bloody find a way to bring you back and murder you myself."

"I recommend you don't die then." Kenny calls out.

We spend a few hours in the hospital room before Kenny finally encourages me down to the hospital café. He forks out some money and buys us all a weak cup of tea each and an energy bar.

Karen, Kenny and I take a seat at a table and start to nibble on our makeshift lunch. "So, what are you going to do then?" Kenny asks me.

"What do you mean? I'm staying here with Craig." I state to him.

He looks at me and he can tell he thinks I think he's being an idiot. "No, I mean about going to the police. We didn't really think this would happen and stuff. I mean you could still go but would you be strong enough on your own?" Kenny asks me.

Oh, that was what he was on about. "I'll think about it later." I tell him tiredly.

"You can't run away from this you know." Kenny scrunches his nose as he stares at the watery tea. "You know in the end you're going to end up going to the police."

"I know, I know. I just can't right now. It's all too much." I say to him. "Perhaps I can do it later."

"Ruby, please stop making up excuses." Kenny tells me. I look at him shocked. "If you don't go to the police then I'm going. In fact I should have gone to them in the start when I finally realized something was up. The sooner we get everything cleared up the sooner you can start living normally." He explains to me. "Also the sooner the police know the sooner Craig will be better and won't have to be hurt anymore."

I look down guiltily at my mug of tea. "Kenny… Can you go to the police then? I can't…" I whisper to him. "I'm just scared; I don't know how much more of this I can take. I knew from the start I should have gone to the police but Craig didn't want to. It wasn't like he had a big ego and pride, he was just scared. He decided he would silently suffer than get help."

"Ruby…"

"And I can't help but think it's my fault. Everyone tells me it isn't my fault but why is it not my fault? It can be as much as it being not my fault as it also being my fault." I explain. "He tells me he does all this to protect me. So if I wasn't around do you think all this would happen?"

"Ruby let me tell you this. The world is basically made of what ifs. I mean, what if the world wasn't created? Then what would be in its place? What if the human race wasn't made? What if emotions weren't created? What if everyone was immortal? These are questions that are most likely never being able to be answered but they are the questions that keep the world running. If there were never any what if questions then we'd have nothing to build a thought on." Kenny tells me. "But some what if questions are silly. Ones being about being born are the most stupid. You were born because someone wanted you here, even if it wasn't your parents who wanted you here but someone else wanted you here. Probably God or something like that but don't worry, I won't rant on about that."

"What if you're wrong?" I ask him.

"But what if I'm right? We'll never know. That's why we live so we can find out these answers." Kenny points out. "Shit happens to some people and there are many what if questions about that. What if it was someone else or what if it never happened? We'll never find out the answers for that because they'll never probably happen."

"You're confusing me." I murmur, trying to keep track on what he's saying.

He ruffles my hair. "Don't worry, I'll stop now.

"Hmm… But what if Craig doesn't wake up?" I ask him.

"Yeah, but what if he does?"

"What if I hit you in the face?" I suggest.

Kenny grins nervously and a bead of sweat runs down his head. "What if you didn't? Better if, how about you don't."


	15. SM Confess and Learn

**_H aha, a new chapter because why not. The next update might not be in a while because as some of may of known this was pre-typed and I haven't typed the next chapter yet :/ I thought I was free from writers block but apparently not. Gomen, short chapter which was sort of a filler one_**

**_OH WELL! Here's the next chapter! R&R, let the author know if this is terrible or somehow close to good :3_**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

It turns out Ike was right. The doctors diagnosed me with depression. I never really understood what being depressed mean. Something about being sad and shit like that. Some people who have depression don't even realize they have it half the time until they are told they have it.

Well it's not like it changes the world. So what, I'm depressed. It's common.

The doctors suggested it was because of my parents, since Kyle had hinted during the check up to tell them about that. They said it could be from school. I don't even care about school.

They also found out I have insomnia. That's where you can't sleep or you struggle to actually get to sleep. I sort of guessed that one. I blame myself on that one; it's probably from all my drinking habits.

Once again the doctors started to tell me about how drinking isn't good for you and I should stop if I want a chance to live my life happily. Well it certainly was news for them when I told them I've hardly drunk that much during the last week or so. Once they got out of the shock they said that was good and I should carry on living that way. I must confess doctors are complete idiots in my opinions.

Well, at least they don't class me as a complete under aged alcoholic anymore.

I walked out the doctors not feeling any different. I'd been given tablets for the depression but I don't understand what they do. All they said was that they'd help me feel better. Just to make it clear but I don't really understand how they work.

Alcohol usually does the trick. You're thrown into your own wonderland. Everything looks so much different, and in a good way too. When I was younger it was better because I guess my small child mind couldn't handle alcohol that well and I was given the full effects of it.

Still, now that I'm older it isn't really any different. Oh well.

Mum headed out to California last night and I've been living in dad's new apartment for a full day. I must admit it's pretty nice in his apartment but it isn't so entirely spacious. The living room is cramped and dad hasn't really prepared for me. There is only enough room for his old beat up couch and the broken television that only works on a few channels. That's all the living area is. The kitchen is no better.

It's connected to the living room but it's still terrible. There is no room for a table or chairs so on a morning I usually eat cereal whilst leaning on the counter whilst looking out of the window. The cabinets are usually empty and have no food. The fridge is almost as bare, save the cans of beer and the out of date cheese. We do have milk but I must check the date on that now thinking about it.

My bedroom is decent enough. There is enough room for my bed and a small beside table besides it. There is also a chest of draws next to my door and that's it. Cindy sleeps on my bed but I usually take the morning newspaper and scatter that around in the corner. If she needs the bathroom I take her outside.

It's a little awkward doing that. You have to go down metallic steps to head to the ground and where we now live has many alleyways and cracked stone pavements. I usually just take Cindy to the park, or have loads of doggy bags.

I've also applied for a job at a local café which is just down the road. I'm not sure if I have the job or yet but I'm hoping I have it. Dad doesn't have his job anymore and he hasn't bothered getting a new one. He's pretending he is all young again and he and his friends always cramp into our little living room and watch football every other night. They head out to the pubs and drink until they're wasted and they head out to the park and pretend they're young. He's pretty embarrassing my dad. I'd defend his stupid behaviour when I was younger but now I can't. He's a frequently seen idiot out on the streets.

Money is tight but I can't bring myself to care. I feel like I'm fading more and more from the world every day. Things just seem to get worse as each minute ticks by.

Kenny told me about Craig being in a coma. He seems pretty beat up about it. In the end me and Kenny drunk until we were doing stupid things like walking across the railings outside my apartment. In fact I have a video on my phone of him falling off. I think he died or something. But hey, he's still here so I shouldn't worry.

See, everything is being shit in life. I don't know why some people can manage to happily live it. Like this guy at my school, Gary Harrison. He can smile over anything. Sometimes I want to punch him in the face. I can't help it. Over optimistic people annoy me so much.

The only exception of this is Kyle and Kenny. Kenny has been a little more down lately about Craig but Kyle has still been burning brightly. When we meet up at school he smiles at me encouragingly. At lunch time he always pecks my cheek whilst sitting down. It makes the girls go crazy, in a good way, but Cartman always scowls. He's lucky we don't full out make out in the lunch room.

No, we save that for more private places. Namely the bedroom because that's where most people do make out anyway. Well perhaps some people do kiss madly in public but that's when they're drunk and has no idea what they're doing.

I seriously don't give two shits where people kiss anyway. It's their life; they can live it how they want.

* * *

I lean over the railings with a cigarette between my lips. It's already been lit but my lighter is still firmly gripped between my fingers.

Smoke leaves my mouth and I stub the cigarette out and throw the butt of it over the railings. I don't head back inside, dad is with his friends again and they're making a rather loud racket. I wouldn't be surprised if we're kicked out of the apartment by the end of the week. May I add it's Saturday?

Homework has been done and Cindy is over at Red's house for the weekend. This means I have a free night all to myself.

However these nights are the nights I hate. I'd usually drink through them but I have no alcohol. My hands are already itching to grab a can of beer but I don't have any. Knowing this makes me want to scream. I guess you can call these alcohol withdrawal symptoms. You want a drink but when you realize you have no alcohol to drink you start to seriously get pissed off.

I want to strangle someone right now but I really can't be bothered to kill someone. It's not really good to kill people, it's not a career I advise you take. You should be a lawyer instead. Hey, why not be a librarian? That'll be fun.

Not.

I end up taking a good long look at the lighter in my hands and walk down the steps. There are a bunch of hobos who live down the alleyway besides my house. They're pretty cool guys.

They usually have a bin set alight. The police can't be bothered to stop this anymore since a bin on fire is the only source of warmth the hobos have. Poor hobos. I'd be pissed off in a matter of minutes if I was homeless. I like being warm, that's all.

"Hey kid, can we borrow that lighter." One of them asks. He hand is outstretched and he looks at me expectantly. Yeah, don't get on the wrong side of a hobo.

I drop the lighter onto his hand and he flicks it a few times and he soon manages to figure out how to create a strong flame. He heads over to a bin and pours some alcohol into it and mixes some other stuff into it. Then he places his arm in and lights it.

His arm flies out quickly as the flames quickly start to shoot up. He gives me the lighter back and I simply slip it back into my pocket.

"Hey kid, do you want a sip?" One of them asks. He holds up a bottle of alcohol and I'm so desperate I nod.

I take a nice long swig before giving it back to him. "You can sit with us if you want." Another one says.

And that is how I spent a night with hobos. It's a lot more fun than you think it wouldn't be.

* * *

I wake up in my bed. I have a headache and I feel like shit. Well to be honest that isn't actually anything new. How sad it is to realize that.

I pull myself from my bed and quickly run to the bathroom where I proceed to throw my guts out. After I'm done I flush the toilet, spray some cheap air freshener and brush my teeth. Breakfast is an obvious no–no.

Stumbling back across the hallway I spot my dad lying on the couch. Another guy is lying on top of his whilst two others are on the floor. Is it just me or does everyone think my dad is actually gay? I don't know. I'm cool with whatever way he swings.

Back in my bedroom I lie on top of my bed and close my eyes, hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep. But no, I can't have that. My phone starts to ring loudly and with a loud groan, I answer it.

"What?" I snap. This person is so going to get the full wrath of a hung over Stan Marsh.

"God, which side of the bed did you get out of this morning?" I hear Kyle's cheerful voice say on the other side. "Morning to you to, babe."

I groan loudly. "Morning mister sunshine." I mutter sarcastically.

"I'm going to guess you've been drinking last night." Kyle says. He sighs on the other side but doesn't pursue on thankfully. "So, how you feeling today? I was planning on heading down to Stark's Pond tonight if you're up to it?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I manage to sit up and despite my head spinning around like a bitch, I manage to think straight. "Why do hobos always smell like shit?"

"Because they don't have a shower to wash in, or any use of hygiene. They can't stay clean." Kyle explains to them. "It's not really their fault. Well maybe it is their fault for not having a home in the first place. Wait, this doesn't even matter."

"Yeah well, I just wanted to know." I tell him.

"Stan? Can I ask you something?" Kyle suddenly asks me.

"Shoot away." I mumble.

"If I were to die tonight, what would you be like?"

I stare at the phone unbelievably. "Why the fuck are you asking this?"

"Just wanted to know." Kyle admits.

"Well if you died tonight I'd be pretty sad because I thought we planned on dying together." I tell him. "So if you're planning on jumping off a high building… Wait for me okay? We can hold hands and jump together."

I hear a sniff on the other side. "Stan you idiot." Kyle sobs. "I don't even know why I asked that, I was just curious."

"Well it's better to ask." I say.

"But if I was going to attempt suicide you'd do it with me?" He asks.

"Yeah, why the hell not. We can both wander hell together." I grin at the thought. "But wait, would you go to hell?"

"Cartman is pretty sure I am." Kyle mutters darkly on the other side. He mutters some death threats before actually realizing I was on the other side. "Anyway! Stark's Pond at 7pm?"

"Sure."

"Cool. I have to go now, see you then?"

"I promise." I promise him.

I hear Kyle attempt to say goodbye but he's cut off. The phone starts beeping and the call is ended. I sigh heavily and lie back down onto my bed.

Fuck, sometimes I wonder what goes on in Kyle's head.

But that's the way to learn. Confess you want to know something and you'll get the answer.


	16. KB Heartbeat

**_I don't even know what to say about this chapter but sorry. I mean wow... Just read on..._**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

"You know, I never really expected for it to happen." He tells me over the phone. "Ruby was pretty upset about it as well; she cried once and never did again."

"Dude, how did he get in a coma exactly?" I ask Kenny over the phone. He called me only a few minutes ago but as soon as I hit the answer button he started rambling on about how Craig was in a coma.

"Something just happened. I'm not fully sure." Kenny tells me. "But fuck, why did it have to happen to him?"

"You seem pretty beat up by this Kenny. Do you need someone to come over or do you want to hang or something?" I ask him.

"No, I need to look after the girls. Thanks for offering though." Kenny moves the phone on the other side so I can hear crackling sounds. "Kyle, you're going to be pissed at me at this but the other night Stan and I were kind of drinking together."

I sigh heavily. "Kenny, did you think that was a good idea at the time?"

"I was sad Ky, what else was I supposed to do?" He says softly. "I'm sorry though, I admit that was a pretty dick move."

"Don't worry. I understand but could of you just came to me if you were feeling beat up." I explain to him. "Just don't do anything stupid like that again okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. Wait a minute Kyle, Karen's shouting me." I hear him place the phone down on the other side.

I lean back on my bed and look over at my clock, noting that it's ten minutes before I need to head out to Stark's Pond. I'm pretty excited to hang out with Stan; hopefully he'll be in a better mood than he was this morning. He was drinking again last night, I know it. I was free last night as well, I wish my friends would just come to me instead of drinking. It's absolutely annoying when they don't. Don't suffer silently, that's what I say.

Sometimes I wonder the minds of different people and how they handle different situations. With Stan he'll just drink everything off whilst Kenny may drink or if not, he'll just loose his spark. Cartman wouldn't care about the outcome of any situation like the sadistic bastard he is. I on the other hand while most likely not let the situation go and it'll start tearing away at my mind until another situation pops up. It's a problem; I just don't let it show.

I wait a few minutes before Kenny finally starts speaking again. "Sorry, Karen was just asking me something. They said they were going to the hospital again. I'll have to go if that's alright with you?"

"No, it's fine. I had to go now anyway as well." I assure him. "Hope Craig wakes up soon okay?"

"Yeah, we all hope that." Kenny murmurs. "But thanks. I appreciate it and I'm sure Ruby does as well. I'll see you later okay?"

The phone starts beeping and I shove my phone into my pocket. My door opens a crack and I peer over to see Ike standing at the door. "Hey big bro."

"Hi Ike." I stand up and grab my jacket which is on the back of my chair. "Look, is this important because I really need to go now."

Ike looks disappointed but he shakes his head. "No, I was just hoping I could talk to you. It was nothing important anyway."

"If you insist then." I slip my orange jacket on and head over to the door. Ike steps back nervously and I ponder what the hell is wrong with him. "Come on Ike, spit it out."

"It's nothing Kyle, I and Firkle just had a fight, that's all." He admits.

"Don't worry about him. If he's being a dick then you shouldn't be bad." I assure him. "Well, if he started the fight anyway. I you started the fight then you're the dick."

Ike frowns at me but then shrugs. He heads into his bedroom and the door is quietly closed. I sigh heavily before heading downstairs. My parents are busy in the kitchen so I simply yell that I'm heading out before going to Stark's Pond and I won't be back for a little while. They don't reply so I head out anyway.

The walk to the Stark's Pond is peaceful. It's dark out already and there are snowflakes delicately falling from the sky. There are also countless stars shining brightly. I smile at them all. Stars are pretty. I like the fact that no one can't touch them so I think they're innocent. They kindly light up the dark sky and make everything seem a lot brighter. Stars are pretty cool.

I reach the pond after ten minutes walking. I'm here early but I'm not alone. Sitting on a log besides the pond are two people I'm surprised are together. "But this tomato juice is good, per se."

"It's what conformists drink."

Mike, or should I say Vampir, and Pete are sitting together really closely. From what it looks like they're arguing over tomato juice. It's no surprise Pete's calling it a conformist drink because the Goths think most things are conformist. The only non-conformist drink for the Goths is coffee, they practically live of it. They should become coffee drinking buddies with Tweek.

Mike lets out this laugh and casually throws his arm around the red haired Goth. It seems Goths are getting closer to people lately. "Whatever, I know you like it secretly." Mike insists.

"No way." Pete mumbles.

They finally notice me and Pete scowls whilst Mike waves at me. I just want to point out that Mike is really strange and I don't know what to say about him. For a starter he's dip dyed his hair a blinding bright green and wears plastic fangs. He also claims he's a vampire. Yeah, he's strange and he's actually older than me by one year.

I quickly walk away after giving them a wave and sit in a more private spot. I know Stan will find me here because it's our meet up point anyway.

He only arrives a few minutes later anyway and I greet him with a hug. "Hey Kyle." He says before sitting down on the grass.

"You okay?" I ask him.

"Hmm? Yeah, why you ask?" He looks at me but when I look at his eyes they just look so distant.

"You just seem a little more distant than usual." I explain to him.

"Yeah. My mum called a few hours back. She said had just finished unpacking at her new house. She keeps on saying how I'd love the house. I think she's just trying to make me feel guilty because I didn't come with her." Stan explains to me. "God, sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if I went with her."

"Hmm, don't. You're better off here in South Park." I reassure him. "We all need you here, without you in South Park it'd be like there is a piece missing."

"Yeah, I guess so." He lies down. "Fuck, I was chilling with hobos last night."

"Why exactly?" I raise an eyebrow at him and look at him as if he were crazy.

"Because I was bored and they gave me alcohol." He admits.

I roll my eyes. Of course he'd chill with homos for alcohol. "Okay then. So that's why you were so grouchy this morning then?"

"Maybe." He says mischievously. "You know Kyle I don't think I've seen you drink before."

"Because I know alcohol is bad." I deadpan. "I'm not going to drink a shit ton of alcohol because I don't want to ruin my body!"

"So are you saying I'm ruining my body?" Stan asks me.

"Well… Technically you are." I point out. He frowns at me because I know he already knows all this and I know he doesn't want a lecture from me about it. "But it doesn't matter that much anyway. Come on, let's watch the stars."

Thankfully he doesn't make any comments and we both lie down and watch the stars. "I never really got stars and those shapes they make." Stan suddenly tells me. "People call them different names and point out the different shapes and stuff but I don't get it. I always thought stars were just one big mess in the sky."

"They basically are." I say offhandedly. "But I guess some people like to delve further and find patterns and shapes. It's astronomy. You could always take a class in it if you want to learn more about them."

"No, I'm not really bothered. I did just call them a mess." He points out.

"Point taken."

Nonetheless we continue to watch the stars. It's a clear night and I don't see why not. Besides, it's so peaceful and we're both relaxed. Sometimes it's better when you're both silent when you're out together but in each other's company doing something relaxing like star gazing. Call me cheesy but it's absolutely true and everyone knows it. I'm sure Pete and Mike are watching stars as well.

"Kyle?"

"Hmm?"

"If you had one wish, what would it be?" Stan asks me.

I look at him and examine his face. Stan has always had these big blue eyes which are absolutely stunning. They are the perfect shade of blue, not too bright and not too dark and they always sparkle brightly in the light. It doesn't matter if he's dull and his eyes are also dull, they always shine for some reason. I love the way when he smiles that his eyes smile as well. He hardly smiles anymore. It's a shame. But he always finds a way to look so beautiful. I'd never ask for him in any other way.

When I look into his eyes I find the answer straight away. "I want us two to live a long and happy life together." I reveal. "Because I fucking love you man."

We both kiss long and hard and when we pull apart we're breathless. Stan has a cute blush on his face and I can't help but smile at it. Anything that Stan does makes me smile. He's absolutely perfect.

"So, what would you wish for?" I ask him.

He ponders long over it. "If I had one wish… It'd be making life absolutely perfect." He tells me. "So I can find a reason to smile and actually mean it. So I can actually make other people happy without depressing them."

"You don't depress people." I frown at him. "People love you man."

"Dude, I'm sure if a person spends just a few minutes with me they start to consider turning Goth." He says matter-of-factly.

I shake my head at him. "That's complete bullshit and you know it. People love it when you're around them because you're you. You're original and who cares if you're a little more depressing than other people. It's just you and how you act. If people don't like it then they can just go and fuck off."

"Well that's nice of you." Stan says but he smiles awkwardly at me. "I don't know when I smile if I look like a complete idiot or just plain dumb."

"You look absolutely stunning when you smile so don't worry." I pat his head slightly and he looks at me confused.

"First you call me a cat then you pat my head." He tells me.

"No, I called you a cute kitten and no, I just wanted to pat your head." I say but now I cringe slightly because I realize how dumb that actually sounds. "Anyway, is there anything you want to do now?"

"How about we just talk?" He proposes and I agree to the idea.

"So, anything particular?"

"No, not really…" He says. "I was hoping you'd have something to say."

I rack my brains for ideas but I can't really think of one. In the end I end up asking about the topic about this morning. "Is it true that if I were to commit suicide then you'd do it with me?"

To my surprise he sighs annoyed and pinches his nose. "Yes Kyle, I'd kill myself with you."

"Dude, I was just asking…" I mutter, feeling hurt. "Why don't you like talking about death?"

"Because it's always on my mind." He tells me. "There, happy now?"

I blink at him. "What do you mean it's always on your mind?"

"I shouldn't of fucking said anything." He grumbles under his breath.

"No seriously, what do you mean?" I question him. "Stan… Are you saying that you've been considering suicide?"

He groans loudly. "I don't know. Yes. No. I don't fucking know. It just seems to always be in my mind and I can't always push it out."

"Dude, why the fuck have you been considering to kill yourself?" I snap at him.

"To escape this bullshit!" He gestures all around us. "I'm tired Kyle. Tired of all this! I'm sick of my parents arguing all the time and I'm annoyed that they moved away! I', sick of opening my eyes every day and realizing that I have to continue with all this! It's just getting tiring and I just want to end all this!"

I glare at him, feeling something inside me snap. "Dude, what the fuck?! Just because you're tired doesn't mean you should kill yourself! Get it together! How about you actually put down the bottle and open your eyes, then you'll realize how great life actually is!"

"Fuck you Kyle. Fuck. You." He stands up and starts to storm off.

I sigh heavily and pull myself up. "Dude, come on. Don't be pissed off at me."

He doesn't answer as he doesn't answer me and he continues walking.

"Has there been like a lovers' tiff or something?" Pete asks us when we walk past them.

"Shut up, it doesn't matter." I tell him.

He shrugs and goes back to talking to Mike.

"Stan, dude. Come on, let's just talk about this." I beg him. I'm terrified he's going to go home and slit his wrists or something. I'd never be able to forgive myself if he did that. God this is my fault. If I just didn't bring up the topic of death then…

"There isn't anything to talk about." He tells me.

"Dude, just stand still for a minute." I tell him.

He sighs but does what he's told and turns to face me. "What?"

"Look, I'm sorry. I was being stupid and I was asking unforgivable questions." I start. "Come on, let's just sit down and we can talk about this. Just me and you. No one else. You can tell me absolutely anything."

"Kyle, I can't. It's just something I can't talk about." He says. "I'm sorry. I'm the worst friend in the world. Just don't bother Kyle. I'm not worth it."

"Dude, you are! Stop talking bad about yourself!" I shout.

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry Kyle. I really am."

I stand feeling frozen. The snowflakes are falling quicker and quicker and the ground is filled with snow and everything is white. It's also dark as well and I start find myself not being able to barely see Stan.

I start to walk forwards but then… Fuck. Everything happened too quickly.

.

.

.

I wasn't even aware of the car until it hit Stan.

I scream his name and run onto the snowy road. He's on the floor but he isn't even moving. "Fuck. Fuck! Stan? Can you hear me?" I ask desperately. I want to hold him but I'm scared of hurting him. God. No, what's happening?

He doesn't react and that sends me into further panics.

"We've called for an ambulance." I hear someone say. I turn my head and see Mike and Pete standing behind me. They don't say anything but they have pale faces and it's not from the pale makeup they wear.

I nod at them and bite my lip as I turn back to my boyfriend who is lying unconscious on the icy road. Why did it have to happen? I glare at the car and I'm more than surprised when I look in the window to see the shocked face of the driver.

The shocked face of Randy Marsh.

Stan's dad.

He doesn't even make any attempt to get out of the car; he's just sitting there and staring at the body of his son. He's opening and closing his mouth but I'm sure no words are coming out. His face has gone all clammy and really pale. I bet he's just realizing that he's just hit his own son with his car.

I ignore him and turn back to Stan. He's lying on his back and his beautiful blue eyes are wide open, staring aimlessly at the night sky. No, he can't be dead. I want to check but I don't want to hurt him anymore. But I can't see his chest moving. No, it must be because of his jacket. It's baggy on him.

An ambulance pulls up as well as some police but I don't know why the hell they're here. They aren't needed here, how they hell are they supposed to help? I ignore them as well and continue to kneel down besides Stan as the paramedics do their work.

They rush around and do lots of quick tests. I can't hear anything what they're saying. All of this is a blur. It just can't be real right?

They let me ride in the ambulance with him. They said it was okay to hold his hand so I do. It's so cold. So, so cold.

The entire ride passes in a blink of an eye and he's rushed into hospital. They make me wait in a hospital chair in the hallway. I sink into a chair and start to cry like a bloody wuss. My hands cover my eyes and my shoulders shudder up and down. My crying is silent.

I'm on my own for most of the time until Mr Marsh walks in.

He gives me what seems the world's biggest guiltiest look when he sees me.

"Is… Is there any news on him?" He asks me.

I shoot him a glare but tell him nothing has been said. He takes a seat beside me even though I don't want him to. I don't stop him however. I feel too distraught to do anything.

Only minutes pass by when a nurse approaches us both.

"Mr Marsh I presume?" She asks Randy.

"Yeah, it is." He says.

"Could you come with me?" She requests.

He nods and they both walk down a hallway. I feel so left out and angry. She tells him what's going on but he's the one who hits his fucking son with a god damn car! How is fair? It isn't!

I continue to sulk more and a whole mixture of emotions washes over me. Sadness because Stan has just been hit by a car. Scared because I don't want my boyfriend to die. Guilty because somehow or someway I could of stopped that car. Also surprisingly I feel somewhat empty and can't feel anything.

If Stan dies then does this mean I have to die as well? He said that he'd die any day with me but then I just learnt he's actually been considering death. That's why he was so fine with saying he'd kill himself with me if that were to ever happen. He's such an idiot. He can't die, he just can't.

Mr Marsh returns a few minutes later and he's on his own. He sighs when he sees me. "Hi Kyle…"

"Well? What did they say?" I ask him desperately. I spring up from my seat and grab his jacket. I need answers. "What did they say?!"

"He's… He's dead." Randy tells me.

My hands grow limp and they let go off Mr Marsh's jacket. They fall to the side and I gape at him, unable to say anything. He's kidding. He has to be kidding right? A car can't kill someone right? People survive, he has to be alive!

But he wouldn't lie and I've know I've just lost my boyfriend. My super best friend. The person I've spent my entire life with. The one person I loved so deeply and wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

He's not breathing anymore.

He has no heartbeat.

So that means…

He's dead.


	17. KM Reboot

**_Well... Two chapters left of this story guys. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed :3 It's still not too late to review now. Yeah people are kind of sad by the last chapter, hopefully this might brighten you all up a little :3 But it's not my best cause I'm tired :/ Oh well _**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

I'm at the police office today. It's time to end everything. Ruby and Karen are both at my house where I want them. I want everyone to be safe; I just want all this to end.

An officer sat me down at a chair after I said I had a case and I started to explain everything to him. I started to explain how the Tucker parent, well mostly Mr Tucker, was hurting his children. I explained how this had been going on for years but now that something serious has happened that something had to be done. I told the police officer that Mr Tucker had to be arrested right now or neither Ruby nor Craig would feel safe anymore.

The police officer kept nodding at me as I started to explain to him. He jotted notes down into a notebook and he also had this whole thing on record. It's all evidence you see, all this stuff is highly important.

Around half way through the explanation my phone starts to ring. "Excuse me." I mutter sheepishly to the officer as I pull it out.

It's Kyle.

I press the ignore button and slide it back into my pocket. "Who was that may I ask?" The officer asks me curiously.

"Just a friend, it's not going to be anything important." I assure him. The officer nods again and tells me to continue talking.

However only a few minutes later the phone starts ringing again. I sigh heavily and pull it out. It's Kyle again but I press the ignore button once again. I'll call him back once I've finished here. Whatever he has to say can't be this important.

The officer raises an eyebrow at me when I ended the call once again but then we continued with the interview once more. But then the phone rings again and again and again. Around the sixth call I excuse myself and leave the room and answer the call.

"Do you mind? I'm kind of busy here." I hiss down the phone in a hushed tone. "What do you want?" I wait for an answer but much to my surprise I don't get one. I look down at my phone confused. "Dude, are you actually here?"

"He's dead."

I blink confused. "Kyle, what are actually on about? Who's dead?"

"He's dead Kenny. He's dead." He mutters with a thick voice.

"Dude, who's dead?" There are a possibility of different people who could be dead right now and with Kyle saying he's dead I don't know who he is on about. I start to feel nervous and grip onto my phone more tightly. "Kyle, answer me!"

"It's… Stan. He's dead." Kyle whispers on the other side. "Kenny, he's dead."

My eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"Fuck… He's dead Kenny. Last night, he was hit by a car." Kyle tells me.

My grip loosens on the phone and it slides onto the floor with a loud clatter. I look at it shocked. The news sinks in and I feel absolutely horrible. No, he can't be dead. I refuse to accept it. Stan isn't dead, he just can't be.

A police officer heads outside which is where I am. "Sir? Are you okay?" He asks me.

I shake my head, momentarily confused before nodding. "I'm fine. Just got a surprise." I mumble. I pick up the phone but find that the call has been ended. Kyle must have hung up on me then but I don't really find that all that surprising. He must be even more shock than me. I think many people will be shocked when they hear about this.

The police officer nods at me and heads back inside. I take a few minutes of deep breathing before finally heading back inside.

"Is everything okay?" The police officer asks me when I take my seat again. He looks at me softly. "You're pale."

"No, everything is fine. There was just something going on with someone else." I admit. I notice my speaking has become a lot more forced out and I find that it's more difficult to actually keep a straight face. My hands have gone clammy and everything feels a lot colder. Fuck. I have to just finish this then I can let it out.

I thankfully do manage to finish my explanation and the officer thanks me before dismissing me. He tells me that the police will act right away and that the cops have already been sent to the Tucker household. At least one more worry can be knocked out of my clouded mind.

When I walk out of the police station I feel like a completely different person. I just can't believe Stan is dead. I mean I've faced death countless times and it hasn't fazed me once but now that it's happened to someone else it just feels all different. I come back once I die but they don't. They only get one shot at life and when they die that's it. I, however, come back over and over again. Death will be a repetitive cycle for me. It doesn't matter how I die, I'll always come back and everything will be okay. Stan isn't coming back. It's not going to be okay.

I bite my lip and start walking around aimlessly. A feeling of dread rolls over me. He was my friend. Stan had been my friend since we were just toddlers. We were close. He'd always come to me to problems if he had any when we started high school. I'd always try and fix them the best I could. He was like my little, well big because he was older, brother. But now he's gone.

* * *

I end up heading to the hospital after an hour of endlessly wandering around. I need to clear my head but I doubt seeing Craig may make me feel better. To be honest it might make me feel worse because I know there is that small chance he could be dead.

I'm being so negative now but I can't help it. There isn't anything else I can do. It's like the darkest thoughts are just invading my mind. I feel like I'm trapped within a living nightmare.

People look at me strangely when I walk into the hospital. Patients and doctors glance at me and think I've gone insane or something. Even a few nurses asked me if I were alright. I just nodded at them and carried on walking.

This might sound incredibly selfish of me but I just feel a little tired. I want someone to comfort me now. I hug people and I tell them it's okay. I wipe away their tears when things get hard and I give them a chance to catch up with the world. I put a smile on my face every day just to hope that everyone else will smile along with me. So is it selfish to ask that one person will look after me instead of me looking after them?

I don't want this anymore. When I see someone in pain I feel like I'm in pain too and it hurts. It hurts to try and keep a straight face and smile. But I guess I can just say what I say to my parents. Smile and the world smiles along with you but if you cry you will cry alone. Sometimes that saying isn't true because when I smile, I smile alone.

I walk into the room and look at Craig. He's not awake, no progress is being made. My fists clench and I finally loose it. "Fucking hell." I wipe my eyes angrily. The tears roll down my cheeks quickly and it doesn't even take a minute for my face to become damp. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why does this have to happen?"

I pull a chair up besides the bed and collapse down onto it. My eyes sting and I wipe them again. I lay my head on the bed and I feel my shoulders move up and down as I start to let everything out. I grip onto Craig's hand tightly and feel myself give in to the sadness.

Not everyone can be strong so no one can blame me for doing this right? Everyone has their moment of weakness. I guess mine's now. It has to happen to a person once in their life. It's not weak. It's strong to let out your emotions.

I continue to sob into the blanket. The tears soak through but I don't notice that much. I'm so caught up in feeling like hell I don't notice anything around me. I don't notice the tears soaking through the blanket. I don't notice the hand starting to lazily stroke my head. Hell, I didn't notice the hand I was holding wasn't even there anymore.

It's then I notice that someone is actually comforting me. I slowly look up and let out a broken laugh when I see another pair of blue eyes looking down at me. That's when I know everything is going to be a little better.

* * *

"Everything seems to be fine now." A nurse tells me after some examination. "I'm just surprised that he had a quick recovery. The doctors said it was a low chance that he'd…" She looks at me and falls silent.

"Anyway!" Another nurse cuts in. "I'd say it's a miracle. However we'll keep him in another few days before letting him out. We just want to be sure."

"That's understandable." I say.

"Kenny!" I look around and see Ruby and Karen running towards us quickly. Ruby's smiling and I can tell, perhaps the world does too, know that she's happy. "Is it true?! Is he awake?"

"Yeah he is." I tell her.

"You can go right on in." The nurse assures her. "But I'd like to speak with you." She tells me.

Ruby narrows her eyes. "Is everything alright?" She asks uncertainly.

"Yes, there are just a few things I need to tell your friend." The nurse explains to her. "It needs to be with someone who's a little older and I don't see your parents around."

I snort at the thought of the Tucker parents and the nurse raises an eyebrow. "I don't think they're going to be here."

Ruby looks relived at that and she and Ruby walks into the hospital room. The nurse leads me off to her office and once we're both in she closes the door behind her. "Here, take a seat."

"So, what do you need to tell me exactly?" I question.

The nurse takes a seat at her desk. "First off do you think this information needs to go to Craig's parents?" She asks me.

"Hmm? What do you mean by that?"

She fiddles with a pencil. "Well downstairs you did make it sound like his parents were the best." She starts. "Then there are the bruises on the body. I've been working at the hospital long enough to know what a regular bruise looks like and how people get them. The shapes of them and the colour also give away as well."

"Oh, well there have been some problems." I reveal. "But I think everything is all sorted out now."

"Good. That's good. I had a feeling from the moment the call was given that something bad was going to happen." She shifts around and I see her name tag. It says 'Blair'. "I was one of the people who came in at the call. We didn't say anything but I knew it was something to do with the parents."

"Yeah, but like I said, everything is being sorted out."

"Anyhow. I need to give someone this information. His parents are obviously a no and I'm not sure his little sister would understand." The nurse tells me. "Maybe you won't either but I'll explain it as much as possible to you."

"Is something the matter?" I ask curiously. "This anything threatening?"

"We're thinking Craig is showing signs of GAD, or better known as generalized anxiety disorder. We're thinking it's linked with his parents. It's simply an anxiety disorder which involves lots of worrying, nervousness and tension. It does however affect life a little bit as well. We're not completely sure if he has it but it is a high possibility. Here's a list of symptoms to it." She hands me a piece of paper and I scan through the different things. "It's best if someone who does has this is that they start therapy as soon as possible for it but since we're not sure we aren't going to recommend it yet."

"So, is it really serious?" I ask her.

"Not if you get the right treatment from it." The nurse assures me. "It's just a thought really but we want to keep the possibility in our minds."

"Okay, was that everything then?"

"Yeah, you can see your friend now. Thanks for listening." She stands up and opens the door.

I thank her and leave the room. On the way to Craig's room I read over the list, trying to memorize everything. Better be safe or sorry. When I reach the room I place the slip of paper into my pocket and walk in.

Ruby is sitting beside his bed and talking to him and such whilst Karen is waiting by the door. She gives me a smile when I see her and hugs me. "You okay Kare? Everything going on okay here?"

"Yeah, everything is fine." She tells me. "Ruby seems happier."

"Well that's good." I say.

Karen doesn't let go for a few more minutes but when she does she peers over at the bed. "Hey, is he going to be okay now? You said you went to the police."

"Yeah, I think everything is going to turn out okay." I assure her. "Don't worry."

She heads back over to her original spot whilst I go over to the bed. Ruby notices and gives a wave. "Hey Kenny, everything went alright at the police station right? No problems?"

"Yeah, I think everything went pretty smoothly." I assure.

"So does that mean?" She asks expectantly.

"All I know is that I think you can both stop worrying."

Craig nods and sits up slowly. "So what's happening?" He asks.

"Well I guess first you rest up and then we'll have to figure out sleeping arrangements." I ponder out loud. "Then we have things like court because we all know your parents won't be arrested just like that. There is also the fact that graduation is coming up pretty soon and tests are going to start. But that's not so important right now."

"I forgot about all that stuff." He admits. "Things have just been so different."

"It's not your fault, don't worry. Everything is going to work out in the end. That's a promise." I tell him. "Do you want us all to leave so you can rest?"

"I've been resting long enough." He tells me in distaste.

"But you still need to continue to rest." I insist. "Just stay resting for the next few days okay?"

He sighs but stays in the hospital bed. "Does dad know anything that's going on?" He asks anxiously.

"I promise he won't hurt you or Ruby." I tell him gently. "He won't ever again. It's going to end."


	18. KB Acceptance

**_You have no idea how hard this was to write T-T I'm not good writing about this :3 Yeah, people wanted Stan's death to be a dream but nope, this story is basically about life and acceptance. Yeah, I'm evil. Thanks for the amazing reviews and such ;3_**

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

_"Come on Ky, it isn't that hard." He assured me. "Just take my hand, it'll be okay."_

_"But what if something goes wrong?" I ask desperately. _

_Stan looks at me and gives a toothy grin. "Kyle, do you think I'll actually let anything bad happen to you?"_

_I look down at the ground embarrassed. "No…"_

_I hold onto his hand and he leads me onto the ice. My legs are shaky and I'm holding onto him tightly, nearly causing us to both fall over. This is the first time I've ever been ice-skating and it's Stan who is teaching me how to do it. He helped me buckle my skates on and now he's trying to lead me onto the ice._

_It's hard to balance on the blades and I can feel myself want to topple over but Stan keeps a tight hold of me. I see Ike looking over from the side and he laughs at me. "Will it hurt if I fall over?" I ask him. "No doubt I'll fall over; I have no balance at all!"_

_"Dude, stop worrying! Okay, it does hurt the first few times but after that you can get used to it!" He tells me. "Okay, now first of you're going to learn how to stand on the ice first."_

_"How am I supposed to do that?" I ask him curiously._

_"Just stand how you'll normally stand." Stan explains to me. "Okay, follow me."_

_He lets go and stands in front of me. I don't know how he's doing it so well. I feel myself start to shake slightly but then Stan takes hold of both of my hands. Then I stop wobbling and then look into his eyes. They look promising and I know he won't let anything bad happen to me._

_I suddenly find myself starting to move and I see that Stan's skating but carefully pulling me along with him. "Now just move your legs. Follow my lead."_

_I move one of my legs forwards but it goes too far and I feel myself nearly falling forwards. Stan manages to keep me up straight. _

_"You'll get it soon enough, just try again."_

_So we try again and pretty soon I'm skating along with him. "I'm skating!" I tell him excitedly. "Dude, I'm actually skating!"_

_"You're doing really well." Stan tells me. "I need to teach your brother now; do you think you can skate on your own?"_

_"Will you skate near me?" I ask him. I still feel a little nervous about skating, especially since there is nothing to hold on around me._

_He nods and heads over to the edge of the frozen pond. I watch him as he teaches Ike how to skate as well; he uses the exact same tactics he used for me. _

_I unconsciously skate over and Stan applauds me as well as Ike. I realize I just skated over on my own and I feel a burst of pride run through me. Together Stan and I take a hold of Ike's hands and we all skate around the border of the pond. _

_We skate around a little while and then Ike takes a seat on the border of the pond after he told us both that he's tired._

_Stan and I start to skate around the centre of the frozen pond, hand in hand. "Hey Stan, do you promise we'll be best friends forever right?"_

_"Do you mean super best friends?" He reminds me._

_I grin and the grip on our hands gets tighter. _

_Then I hear a cracking sound and the ice sudden breaks. We both fall through and I hear Ike screaming our names. I look around frantically for Stan but I can't see him anywhere. Then I see a figure sinking down further into the lake and I open my mouth to scream but water is filled instead…_

* * *

I wake up quickly, bolting up so I'm sitting and I clutch my chest tightly. I feel sweat plastering my pyjamas to my body and my hair is more damp than usual. I quickly regain my breathing and then let out a shaky sigh. It was just another nightmare.

When I feel extra weight jump onto my stomach I crack open an eye which I closed and I smile softly. "Come here Cindy." I tell her softly. The little corgi jumps into my arms playfully and I hug her carefully.

Today is the funeral. I'm not really sure on how I'm exactly feeling about all this. It's the day of the funeral of my super best friend. I told myself that I never wanted to go to my best friend's funeral but now it's happening. Everything is happening too fast and it isn't fair. People can only live once and that's it. They're gone. They don't remember anything I bet but the people who are left behind are forced to remember everything about the person and are forced to face the fact they're never going to come back. I don't know how to feel about this. It's just so confusing.

My mind feels like it's clouded over with a million and one thoughts. Some are peaceful memories of when I and Stan were younger and everything was okay. Some are of us just a few weeks back. Some thoughts are about how it should have happened. He was supposed to walk off the road and everything was going to be okay. He'd live to see another day. But then I remember he told me about how he wanted to be dead.

I bury my head into the dog's fur and feel tears prickling my eyes. I've spent the last few days locking myself into my bedroom and crying my eyes out. The only time I unlock the door is to let Cindy wander out and let someone else look after him. I feel like all the energy has been drained from my body. I feel like half of me has been ripped away from me.

There is a knock at my door and someone trying to open it. "Kyle, please open the door." I hear the voice of my brother beg. The more he rattles the door handle the more Cindy starts to get livelier and she starts to bark at the door excitedly.

In the end I slide out of my bed and open the door. Ike looks at me fearfully when he spots me. "What do you want?" I ask tiredly.

"You need to get ready…" He tells me softly. "It's on at noon."

"Oh, yeah." I rub my head and stifle a yawn. "Thanks. I'll, uh, go and get ready I guess."

"Kyle, can we talk?" Ike asks me when I'm about to close the door.

I look at him but nod nonetheless. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I… I miss him." Ike tells me sadly. "I never thought he'd die so soon. I know I don't really have the right to do all this but I really want him back. He was my best friend."

"Oh Ike." I kneel down in front of him and pull him into an embrace. "His death has had an impact on everyone. You don't have to feel bad about missing him."

I hear him sniff loudly. "Kyle, do you sometimes wish that everyone had two chances in life so that if they die once they can always just come back to life again just one more time. No one wants to be dead for real right? Being dead will completely suck, there will be nothing left."

"Sometimes I agree with you but some people might not want to come back Ike." I tell him softly. "Some people might be a little tired with life and might not want to carry on. It doesn't matter how much a person tries to convince them or how much you show them life really does feel good, a person might not want to live. Stan only told me minutes before he died that he was tired with everything but then a car hit him and he died. I was so devastated but perhaps Stan was happy that he died. I'll never know because I know there is no other way of talking to him again. He's dead."

"Why would he want to die?" Ike mutters into my pyjama top.

"Because he was tired Ike. Life can be too overwhelming for people and they don't want to carry on." I explain.

"You know that but yet you wanted him to live on?" Ike asks me confused. "Isn't that not fair on Stan? What if he survived and he was hooked on a life machine and he asked you to pull the plug? Would you pull the plug?"

"Ike, that doesn't matter that much." I mutter. "He didn't survive, he died."

"Perhaps not everything is not as bad as it seems. Stan wanted to die and he got what he wanted. Perhaps that was his wish in life, just to end it." Ike says out loud.

"Shut up." I snap at him harshly. I push him and storm back into my room.

I hear Ike start banging on the door, begging me to open up. He shouts apologies but I don't listen to him. I cover my ears and slump down besides the door. "Go away and leave me alone!" I end up screaming at him. "Just leave me alone!"

It falls silent and I hear small footsteps walking away. I slam my head back against the door. "Fuck…"

My temper is bad, I really do know that. That's why I need Stan here so he can even it out. He was always too good to me. He didn't mind when I yelled at him when we were younger, he could always find a place in his mind to forgive me. He was always so peaceful as a child, the most sensitive one out of our group. He tried to do everything good in life but I now that I think about it I think he did everything right in hope to find something to keep himself moving on. He couldn't find that thing to keep him content in life. He just wanted to die.

So… he died.

* * *

I managed to drag myself out of the house to the funeral. I wasn't surprised to see lots of people attending. I met up with Kenny and he simply hugged me in comfort. I was grateful.

All the faces here are familiar. I spot Shelly here even thought I knew she moved out a while ago. She looks dazed more than anything. Her little brother she used as a punching bag when she was younger, he was around anymore. I feel bad for her anyway. Especially from the fact it was her own dad that hit his son with the car.

I also spot Sharon as well. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. Her face is all pale and sunken and there are noticeable dark rings under her eyes. I notice when Randy comes up to her she ignores him. I bet she blames him for all of this.

Everyone is told to head inside the church and that's when the funeral begins. Father Maxi starts to go on about a 'young man who was cruelly taken away from the world'. Not the best of words since Stan's dad is sitting on the front row. Some people shoot him some sharp looks and he looks down in shame. I try and keep a straight face throughout the entire service. Kenny holds my hand whilst Ike sits next to me. The casket is at the front of the church but it's closed after Mrs Marsh requested for it to be.

She planned his outfit on what he'd wear today with me. I was surprised when she asked me to help her. She said I'd know what he'd like to wear the most. I was confused but then she started to go on about how I was always there for him when things got bad with their family and how grateful she was about me. She thanked me for looking after him whilst she was away. I didn't understand because I hardly looked after him at all. It's practically my fault he's dead. Then Sharon said not to blame myself for his death. She said it was tempting but I shouldn't.

I chose a comfy pair of jeans which Stan liked to wear on most days. They were casual and they would be nice to wear because they'll be comfy. Then I chose the football jersey. I don't know why, it must have been because of our childhood. He loved football and he was brilliant at is as well. Then I slipped on his white canvas shoes he managed to keep the clean. Sure he only had them for a little time but at least he was the type to try and keep his shoes clean for at least a few days.

It's strange, I know so much about Stan. I know him more than myself. I guess I've been too dependent for him over the last couple of years.

Soon Father Maxi asks me to read my speech I had prepared in the moments I wasn't feeling too bad. I stand up and I feel many eyes looking at me but I don't feel at all nervous. I feel like Stan is walking besides me, as strange as it seems.

I stand at the front and grip onto the piece of paper in front of me. "It's strange… Death is such a strange thing isn't it? One moment someone is here and the next moment they're dead. At first you can't accept the fact that they're gone and then soon… it hits you and you have to face the fact they're dead…" I say out loud. I look at the paper and look at the speech in front of me, all prepared and written out. "Oh fuck it." I throw it onto the floor and some people seem surprised at my sudden outburst. "I don't even know myself if I accepted the fact that Stan is dead. I look around for him desperately every day in hope I can see him once again. Sometimes I close my eyes and hope that all of this is just some strange and twisted dream. I'm not sure if I'm the only one but I wish that he has just one more chance to live, to be with all of us. But then another part of me realizes that he's in peace. Moments before he died we were together and we were arguing. He said that he was tired of everything and that he wanted all of this to end. I was surprised and back then I was angry when he said that but now… as strange as this may sound, I think he's happy now because he's got his wish. Sure he isn't here anymore but I think he'd want us all to be happy.

I remember when we were children and I'm pretty sure all of you remember us as children as well. We were known as troublemakers when we were kids and we did many different adventures. They were fun but sometimes they were dangerous. In the end everything turned out alright. I think it's better if we remember the memories we shared but also remember Stan as a person. Man… I'm not really sure what to say now. Am I supposed to say everything is going to be alright? I'm not sure. All I know is that Stan wouldn't want us to be sad…" I finish. I feel my throat tighten and I quickly rush off to take my seat again.

I see Sharon smile tearfully at me when I sit down and Kenny squeezes my hand tightly. I wonder how Kenny is feeling about all this. If I'm correct, Kenny can't die. He told me and Stan and after some convincing we finally believed him. I'm not sure if he's died lately though but he told us when we were children he died a lot. Stan would shout 'Oh my god! They killed Kenny!' and I'd shout 'You bastards!'. Perhaps Kenny is more relaxed about this or perhaps he's feeling worse. I'd be feeling guilty because I know that I have many chances but other people don't. Kenny hasn't said anything to me about it so I'm not entirely sure.

Once the service is finished the coffin is lowered into the ground. Ike and I hold hands as this is happening. I wished that I could have seen Stan's face just one more time. That would have been nice. In the coffin I put something inside it. It's a picture of me and Stan at his fifth birthday party. We were both sitting on the couch, grinning madly at the camera. We had cake on our hands but our faces had been clean. It was my absolute favourite picture, especially since it had both our names written on the back of it. Stan had scrawled his name messily on the back with a smiley face whilst I wrote mine as carefully as possible, looping my writing.

The picture just felt like something that had to go into the coffin.

When it's lowered into the ground I see Sharon starting to cry. She's so distraught that she lets Randy comfort her. Emotions can change a person you see. It doesn't matter what it is, emotions will change someone.

I stay when the coffin is being buried and I stay once the funeral is long gone done. Ike leaves me eventually but I stay at the church, kneeling in front of the new grave. Stan's name is engraved onto the stone so I know it's him. It's strange to know he's just a few feet away from me.

His mother didn't want him to be cremated. I don't know why because it's rather strange to be buried but if it's what Mrs Marsh wanted.

I'm soon told to leave by Father Maxi. He said it'd be for the best.


	19. CTKMKB Don't Want it Any Other Way

**_I don't own South Park _**

* * *

CT

He was proven guilty. The judge at the court said my dad was guilty and they finally locked him away in jail, where he deserves to be. I don't have to deal with his bullshit anymore so I'm thankful for that. The sentence was for around five years, something I thought that should have been longer but it's still something. Mum wasn't arrested however. Sure, she was also brought into the trial but since she didn't actually abuse her children like dad did she was let off the hook but her criminal record is a little tainted.

I was so relieved when I saw the handcuffs were places onto my dad. He was lead out of the hall but it didn't mean he couldn't start screaming stuff at Ruby and I. I didn't care however, I was just glad. Ruby and I just stood outside, hand in hand, and watched as he was literally forced into the back of the police van. That was when I knew everything was over. That there would finally be no more suffering.

Sure there were a few problems about where we would stay, since I was still seventeen and all. For a few months Ruby had to sleep with some organized people, which turned out to be the Harrison family. They looked after us and when I was eighteen I moved out of the house into an apartment. However I knew I wouldn't be living in the apartment alone. Soon after the trials at court Kenny had asked me out and I said yes. I don't know why but over the time we spent together I found we were starting to get closer so I was glad I said yes.

It's been three years later and I'm now twenty-one. I'm living in the same apartment with Kenny. We managed to get the rights to look after Ruby so she lives with us too. It's a cosy apartment with two bedrooms, a bathroom and a living-room and kitchen all in one. It's perfect since it's cheap and also nice to live it as well.

Kenny looks after me and I look after Kenny. We work together well. As we grew up Kenny started to get a little wilder since he had more freedom but I was always there to calm him down and keep him level-headed. Then he keeps an eye on me. I'd be lying if I said that Kenny wasn't overprotective. Some people would find it annoying but I find it rather sweet. Well, it does get annoying that he hardly lets you out of the house on your own. He's scared I'll be killed or something. I think he mostly fears I might get hit by a car and that is really understandable. I don't really think Kenny is ever going to forget Stan.

Also Kenny is one of the many people who know how to keep me calm during a panic attack. I'm not sure why but I keep experiencing them rather frequently. Kenny knows how to stop them though and when I questioned him about it he admitted that some things. I love Kenny for that though; he's sweet enough to stay by my side. I bet some people wouldn't stay by the side of a person who had a rather fucked up childhood.

I have different tactics to keep myself calm during the night whilst he's away. I work during the day at the local library down the street. He works at a waiter at a restaurant downtown. Neither of us went to university, we just didn't feel it was right to go. Too much happened. When Kenny is at work I usually light some candles in the living room. They're usually cinnamon scented candles since that's one of my favourite candle smells for some reason. I'd put some music on and sit on the couch with the blue blanket Kenny got me wrapped around my shoulders. I'd then look at the pictures that Kenny and I had taken the last couple of years. They usually keep me calm and I get nice thoughts.

Tonight is no different. I silently look through the pictures of me and Kenny. I slowly move through the pictures, careful not to put any fingerprints on them. I have to admit life is not pretty good. It's nice and simple, just the way I like it. Some people don't like having a routine for a life but I find it a hell of a lot easier. There are sometimes a few changes but nothing major.

I like it with Kenny, he's nice to me. I admit at the start of our relationship I was scared a little but he soon showed himself to be gentle and caring, something I look for within a person. I can easily say I'm wary around people, especially adults. People were surprised once they found out about the Tucker story, which just had to be put in the news. I forgot how many people asked for interviewed but I declined every single one. Lots of town folk were at first acted more distant when they saw me; it was like they were walking on glass, careful not to step on a sharp shard. Everything is definitely a lot more normal now.

I come across a picture of me and Kenny at the park. It must have been taken by Ruby when I didn't notice. Most photos have been taken by Kenny because you can see his outstretched arm in the picture. This picture it's of me and Kenny on a swing together. Both of us are fully unaware of the camera. I'd be angry at Ruby for taking a picture but then I don't mind at all because I liked that day. It was our one year anniversary of being together. No, we aren't married though.

The front door opens a few hours later and Kenny walks in. He smiles when he spots me and I motion for him to sit down next to me. "What are you looking at today?" He asks me, but I know he knows the answer.

"Photos." I answer him. I hand him the picture of us on the swing. "Did you know that Ruby took this photo?"

"No, but it's a nice picture isn't it?" Kenny says. "We'll have to get it framed."

He puts it to one side and helps me clean the photos back up. They are all slid into the photo album that we got the other day. It's a blue a4 sized one. We've already filled up half of it already. "We've got too many pictures."

"No, we got the right amount." Kenny assures me. He turns the music off and places the album back onto the small bookshelf in the living room. "How about we watch some television then call it a night?"

We both sit down onto the couch and he starts flicking through the channels. We both agree on a comedy series that we had both watched before. Both Kenny and I lie down on the couch. I rest my head on his chest and he drapes an arm over me.

"How are you feeling today?" He asks me. It's something he'll ask every day.

"Fine." I answer him. "What about you?"

"It was a little bit stressful at work but nothing I couldn't handle." Kenny tells me. "It was busy tonight and there were some hooligans hanging outside which I had to sort out. They were being complete assholes."

"Hmm, nothing you couldn't handle right?" I ask.

"Yeah, nothing I couldn't handle." Kenny tells me again.

We both carry on watching the television but end up falling asleep on the couch after Kenny throws a blanket over us both.

At first life was hard and difficult. I did drugs once or twice and I drank but then stopped. I felt so empty. It was hard to be told you were worthless and it hurt being beaten an inch to death. But good things come to all those wait. Now, I wouldn't want life any other way.

* * *

KM

"Kenny, over here!" Bebe shouts.

I turn around and quickly head over to Bebe. She's dressed fine in her short skirt and her white crisp work shirt. "Here, take this to table seven then you can leave okay?" She tells me.

My shift was supposed to end half an hour ago but since tonight was rather busy I had to stay extra time. I start to get a little worried since I haven't been able to call Craig and no doubt he'll be wondering where I'm at. I quickly scoot over to the table and serve it.

Then I quickly unchanged out of my uniform and then bolt out of the restaurant door. I quickly run out but I don't watch where I'm going as per usual and I end up running right in front of an oncoming lorry.

…

When I wake up I'm on soft white flooring. This has never happened before. Usually I wake up on the rocky floors of hell where Damien would greet me. I also know this isn't Heaven because I've been there once or twice. I think that's life just fucking with me.

I guess this is limbo then. The world between the living and dead. You are not in Heaven or Hell but you aren't on earth either. I've only been here once and that was the first time I died. It's scary here because you're usually on your own.

I see him sitting on the floor looking up at the white nothingness. I'm surprised to see him here and I approach him. "I never thought I'd see you here." I tell him.

"I guess I can't let it go." He tells me. "Kenny… Dying isn't nice is it?"

"Hmm, sometimes it's peaceful." I answer him. "How have you been doing up here then Stan? It's been a while, I would have thought you would have gone to Heaven or Hell or something. Three years is a long time up here in limbo."

Stan looks at me and sighs. "Kenny, what's it like coming back to life again?" He asks me.

"I'm not sure. It feels like being plucked from the world but being placed back down again. I usually wake up in my bed." I tell him. "Fuck, I've missed you dude."

"Me too." He tells me with a small voice.

I shuffle next to him and place an arm on his shoulder. "You know, things happen in life that is complete shit, but Kyle said you wanted to die?"

"I…I…" He looks at me and much to my surprise he shakes his head and tears start streaming down his face. "I didn't mean it Kenny, I didn't want to die. I hate it up here but I can't let it go. I can't help but beg to come back down to earth. I watch Kyle all the time and hope it makes me feel better but it just makes me feel worse!"

"Then you'll have to let it go." I tell him. I feel like a complete shit telling him this but I know I can't bring him back. You can't fuck with the life cycle. I guess I'm the only exception. "You start of in limbo but then you go the Heaven or Hell. When you reach either of them places you'll lose your memories of human life so you don't have to suffer. That's the reward of death; it makes you forget everything so you don't have to suffer anymore."

"But I can't!" Stan tells me. "I can't forget Kyle! I've been so selfish; the least I can do is try and stay as close as possible to him."

I feel torn now. "Stan… It's not fair on you. By time Kyle dies he'll be old, it won't be the same as being children. Besides, he won't remember you. Give yourself a break and let it go, you look tired."

Stan holds onto me tightly and I let him. "Kenny, I don't want to forget… I don't want to be dead. Please, make all this stop. Can't you bring me back?" He begs me. "I didn't realize I what I had until everything was all gone. Please Kenny."

"All I can do is help you to Heaven or Hell, I can't bring you back. It just doesn't work like that. I'm so sorry." I apologize to him. "I'm so, so sorry. You know I would do anything to bring you back but I can't."

He lets out a shaky breath and nods. "Kenny… will you stay with me, just for a little while?"

"Sure…" Though I'm a little unsure since I know time in limbo goes a lot more slowly than time at earth. Nonetheless I stay with him. I've missed Stan; it's nice to see him again. Especially since he also has his memory.

"I'm going to find a way to contact Kyle again…" Stan tells me. "I'm not leaving limbo. When the right time comes I might but I just want to speak to Kyle one more time."

"Well… it's your choice I guess." I tell him. "Just, promise me that you'll do the right things?"

"Kenny, don't worry about me. Nothing bad can happen to me." He assures me. "You should leave now Kenny, I know the time here goes a lot more slowly than time on earth."

"Are you sure? I might not be able to see you again." I warn him.

He hugs me tightly but when he lets me go we make eye contact. "Go on, you have a life to live."

Fuck, with him just saying that it makes me feel so bad. I stand up and he follows. "Just, promise me you'll find Heaven or Hell soon."

"Don't worry. Now go, I'll be fine." Stan tells me.

I slowly feel myself fading away and I quickly take a hold of his hand. "Perhaps we can meet again?"

"I'd like that." Stan tells me as my vision starts to go black. "I'd like that."

…

I quickly head over to my apartment once I wake up. People shoot me strange looks as I run quickly to the apartment. It's dark out and it's pretty late. The clock in my old bedroom said it was around 1am in the morning.

I push open the apartment door. "I'm home!" I shout loudly and hopefully. I desperately look around but find it's empty in the apartment. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Is there anyone here?" I quickly run into the bedroom but that's empty, even when I throw the bed sheets from the bed its empty. The bathroom is also empty as well.

Once I'm pretty sure the apartment is empty I pull out my phone. I try and call Craig first but when the phone starts ringing I find that he's actually left the phone on the couch. I curse at his carelessness and quickly phone someone else.

Kyle answers right away and when start talking he sounds pretty angry. "Kenny?! Where the fuck have you been?! The whole town has been looking for you for the last month! We've been so worried about you; we thought something bad happened to you."

"Dude, I'm sorry. I've just been…" God, I can't tell him I've been with Stan all this time. It wouldn't be fair on Kyle and perhaps he might even do some drastic over it. It's an idea but he could even commit suicide over it in hopes they'll meet up again. "I've just been around… I'm sorry."

"Fuck… I've been so worried about you Ken; I really did think something bad happened to you. I just didn't want another repeat. I don't want to lose you too Kenny." Kyle starts sobbing on the other side. "You're okay now aren't you?"

"Dude, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you for so long. Things just happened and I couldn't do anything about it. Do you want me to come over?" I ask him.

"No, no… I'm fine." I hear yapping on the other side. "I need to look after Cindy anyway. Besides, have you found Craig yet?"

"No, where is he?" I ask Kyle. "Has he been okay?"

"Not really. He's spent every night looking you; I'm not sure what time he comes back in though. God, he's been a wreck without you Kenny. You need to find him as soon as possible okay?" Kyle tells me. "But thanks for calling me. I'm glad you're okay."

"Okay, talk to you later." I end the call and shove the phone back into my pocket.

I hear the front door open and I quickly turn around. Craig stands at the door and when he spots me he seems a little different. He looks terrible if I must say so myself. Only in a month he's managed to get himself dangerously thin and under his eyes is dark. I feel terrible since I know I caused all this. "God damn it Kenny." He mumbles.

Much to my surprise he turns around and storms back outside. "Dude, wait!" I shout after him.

I quickly chase after him. When I'm out of our apartment he's already down the metallic steps and walking down the sleep. I practically fly down the steps and quickly run in front of him.

"God, I'm so sorry." I tell him quickly. "Things just happened and-"

"One month Kenny." He snaps. "Where have you been for an entire month?! Everyone has been so worried about you. Especially Kyle. That wasn't exactly fair on him. And his brother, Ike. Everyone has been so worried about you."

"I know, I know." I say sadly.

"And… I've been worried about you too." He admits. "I thought you died or something. I couldn't bear the thought of you dying."

I wrap my arms around him but he doesn't move his arms. True, I've just died but if I tell him that he'll just freak out. "Dude, things happened and I left for a little while. I'm so sorry. I should have called you but I couldn't. I should have known you'd worry, I'm so, so sorry."

He rests his head on my shoulder and sighs softly. "Promise me you won't leave again okay?"

"I promise dude, I promise." I assure him. "Come on, let's go back inside."

We both walk back to our apartment and I close the door. Craig looks around and he looks like he's opening his eyes the first time this month. "Shit, I forgot to look after the house." He mumbles and looks like he's ready to start a cleaning project. I quickly catch his hand and look at him dead in the eye.

"You also forgot to look after yourself." I remind him.

He looks down at himself. "I look fine."

"You look like you haven't been eating." I point out. "Come on, I'll make us both a meal."

I head into the kitchen and make two cup pastas and head back into the living room. I sit down and hand one over to Craig.

"Thanks…" He mumbles quietly.

We eat quietly and then put our cups to the side. "Feel any better?"

"I didn't feel any different before." He admits.

"Whatever… How about we listen to some music?" I suggest.

I find the music remote and flick the music on. The song 'Everytime' by 'Britney Spears' comes on. All I know it's one of both our favourite songs. It's peaceful.

Craig looks at me with a look of relief and holds my hand. I stand up and pull him along with me much to his confusion. "What are we?"

"Just, let's just enjoy this moment." I tell him. I hold him around the waist and he eventually snakes his arms around my neck. We both slowly dance slowly to the music, just stepping side to side in peace.

He buries his face into my neck and I smile softly. Once the song ends we stand together in a silent embrace. I hear Craig yawn and I carefully scoop him up. He gives me a questioning look but I merely grin at him. I didn't remember him being so light.

I take him into the bedroom and place him on the bed and then crawl under the covers next to him. "G'night. Kenny." He yawns as I pull the cover over us.

"Goodnight."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't too over protective over Craig but I can't help him. When I first met him I was intrigued about his mysterious nature and now I think it's all worth it that I was curious about it. Sure I've had my ups and down during the whole time, especially three years ago. But now that I know Craig is okay and that Stan is much more better I can't regret to say I wouldn't want to have life any other way.

* * *

KB

"Checkmate." He says, taking my chess piece.

"Damn Kyle, you're losing your touch." Kenny tells me. "Craig's gonna have you beaten if you don't up your game."

"It's just chess." I retort, though it doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to lose this game than win it. It's become something I like to do most weekends. I go over to Kenny and Craig's apartment. The three of us would spend the afternoon, and sometimes the night, playing board games or battle it out on the nintento wii. It's peaceful hanging around these two.

The game soon ends and today it's Craig who has won. He's definitely smarter than he lets on. Even I thought he was an idiot at school but he proven me wrong. At least he's not the type to sneer about winning. He instead puts the chess set away neatly and slides it back on the shelf.

I look over at Kenny who is sitting curled up on the couch. He has two notebooks in front of him. "What are you reading exactly?" I ask him when I head over. One notebook is red and the other one is blue. He's reading the red one.

"Oh, just some stupid stuff from school. We had to do this project in our English class and I'm just reading what Craig and I wrote." He laughs. "I think Craig has called me an asshole at least ten times in this and I haven't even got five pages through."

Craig flips Kenny off and the blonde laughs loudly. "I thought you two were madly in love?" I question them both.

"Oh we are." Kenny tells me deviously. "We most definitely are."

I roll my eyes at him. Kenny hasn't changed that much during the last three years. Perhaps a little more grown up and a bit more wilder than when he were a teenager but he's basically the same Kenny.

It's nice to have some things stay the same around here. Sometimes change isn't the best thing even though people think it is.

When Kenny went missing for a month the town seemed more like a ghost town. It lost its spark. The whole town was convinced by Craig and me to look for him. But it didn't matter how much we looked, we couldn't find him.

There had been a report of a lorry crash but no one was hurt. I got a little suspicious then but I didn't dwell on the thought too much. I know about Kenny dying but I don't like to think about it too much these days.

Surprisingly I didn't head off to university. I just couldn't bring myself to go. I couldn't put the past behind me, no matter how hard I tried.

I wonder what Stan would look like if he were still here. Would he be smaller than me still or perhaps he'd suddenly got tall? Perhaps he'd stop wearing his signature hat? He could have been different as well. Perhaps he would have been livelier or happier? I guess I'll never know now.

I've finally accepted the fact that he's gone now. It was hard at first but one morning I woke up and I didn't have that urge to ring Stan. In fact I knew that he wouldn't answer. I had walked downstairs feeling so different. I ate my breakfast and then turned on the television. I watched cartoons for a little while and then headed outside.

My head felt clear and I didn't really think about Stan once. I passed the graveyard, only glancing at it once before walking to my job as a cashier at Harbucks. Not once did I feel guilty or did I feel sad. I just felt like me.

Even now I feel like a little part of me is missing but at least I don't feel broken. I admit after a few days after Stan's funeral I started to realize how Stan wanted to die but I couldn't bring myself to do anything.

I knew I was strong and I wanted to keep on living.

"You know, Stan did one of these with someone else." Kenny tells me. "Perhaps you can find his though I bet it won't be that interesting."

"He did his with Heidi Turner, I remember." I say. "I got his notebook about her, and yeah, it was pretty boring."

Kenny shrugs and puts the diaries away. "So, how about a few games on the wii?"

…

I leave at around 7pm.

I don't head home however.

I head down a few doors down at the apartments and go up the steps. I think I know this is the house. I'm not entirely sure.

I knock on the door nonetheless and it opens.

"Oh, I never really expected you to be here." She says.

"Hi Heidi…" I say quietly.

"Are you okay?" She asks me concerned.

I see a baby in her hands and Heidi smiles softly.

"She's called Isabelle. I had her a few weeks back." Heidi explains to me. "Is there anything you need?"

"Uh… This may sound really strange but do you have your English project from around three years ago?" I ask her.

She looks at me confused but it doesn't really take her long to put two and two together. "Oh yeah, I think it's in my room somewhere. I forgot all about it. I was actually meaning on giving it to you." She opens the door wider. "Here, stand inside whilst I get it."

"Okay, thanks." I stand in her living room whilst she heads into her bedroom. Her house is pretty enough and it has the same shape as Kenny and Craig's.

She returns a few moments later with the diary. "You know if you ever need someone to talk to then you can always speak to me." She tells me as she hands the diary over. "I hope nothing in there offends you or anything but I don't think anything will."

"Yeah, don't worry. Thanks Heidi." I say.

"No problem. Was that everything you needed?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She opens the door for me again and we both bid each other a farewell. I head down the metallic steps as she closes the door. The diary in my hands feels a little strange, like it's holding so many secrets. It has a dark purple front cover.

I head on over to the park. Up until now I've been more than reluctant to head to the park since the car accident. But today I walk into the park confidentially and sit down on one of the swings.

I open the front page and see Heidi's swirling hand writing.

_About Stan,_

_He's actually called Stanley but he prefers people to call him Stan. He has these bright blue eyes which I could say are really pretty and black hair. His birthday is on October 19th. His favourite month is actually October because he likes Halloween. He told me that he spends it with Kyle and them and Kenny would head out together with Kenny's sister and start to trick or treat on different doors. Stan usually dresses as the vampire, Kenny as a zombie, Kyle as Dracula and Kenny's little sister as a cat._

I smile fondly down at the book and flip the page over.

_He didn't say that much about himself today. He said that he had an older sister that moved away. Then he had a dog. His dog was called Sparky but he died. Apparently his dad hit him with a car but the doctors said it was from old age. It's strange really._

I flick through the pages and sigh heavily. That was all I got from it. It wasn't that much to be honest. I flick over to the next page and fine that there is one line on it.

_Stan loves Kyle_

I guess she knew about our relationship then. I flick the page over again.

_Stan loves Kyle_

Feeling confused I flick the page over.

_Stan loves Kyle_

And again…

_Stan loves Kyle_

Then I flick it again.

_I love Kyle_

I stare at the book. What is this? I nervously flick the page over.

_Never forget_

I note that the hand writing is messy and definitely not Heidi's. If it's not her writing then whose is it?

_Super best friends forever_

Stan?

_I love you Kyle_

Did he?

_I'm sorry Kyle_

Stan…

_Let's meet up again one day_

I love you too.

_I'll never forget_

Me neither…

_I love you Kyle…_

When I flick over the page it's not writing but instead a picture. It's the picture of me and Stan. But I put this in the grave. I hold it and turn it over. It has our writing on it. I'm pretty sure I'm imagining things now. "Stan… Are you trying to tell me something?" I ask out loud.

I flick through the diary again and again but the writing is on here as clear as day. Even when I take a picture the words are on the page.

I sniff loudly and feel my eyes water. Fuck…

Strange things happen in South Park, I guess anything can happen.

Sure I'm alone and Stan isn't here but I guess somehow he's still with me. Even if he isn't by my side I know he's still with me. Somewhere he's with me.

I place a hand and then pull the diary close to my chest. If Stan isn't here then I'll live for both of us. I wouldn't want to live life any other way.

* * *

**_Why hello down here :3_**

**_Yeah, final chapter. You know, this story felt like a baby to me. It's just been so fun to write and I wouldn't have written it without you guys. You are all the reason I manage to write chapter after chapter. I tried really hard with this you know, I really did._**

**_Also yeah, I'm aware I ended each person's POV with the sort of same ending :3 Oh well, it was planned_**

**_So, if you enjoyed drop a review. Let me know how you felt about this story, don't leave me hanging please :3_**

**_If you have any ideas for a story you want to see in the future then tell me in the reviews or perhaps pm me. :3 I'm always looking for ideas._**

**_Well, this is it. Thanks for reading and hope y'all enjoyed :3_**


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